Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex, a Video Review
About a month ago I received a really awesome book from Babeland. I’ve known about Babeland for years now and have also worked with them periodically on another website of mine, so I was pretty psyched to have this book show up. Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex is something that all sexual beings can truly enjoy, learn from, and also even broaden their sexual horizons with the help of. I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially how inclusive it is, so regardless of your sexual orientation or gender identity, you will find something in this book that you can completely relate to.
I went into a bit more detail on this book in a video review. Mind you, this is the very first time I have ever done a vlog of any kind for Menstrual Poetry and I am not very comfortable in front of the camera just yet, so if you totally hate this video, please be nice because you just may make me cry.
Check out product and purchase information for Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex from Babeland.
Don’t Drop the Ball–Statistics Show EC Sales More than Double After New Year’s Eve
Teva Pharmaceuticals, the makers of Plan B One Step ® emergency contraception found that sales of emergency contraception more than double in the days after New Year’s Eve. They noticed this trend through statistics from January 2009 and because of the troubling statistic, the Back Up Your Birth Control Campaign and the National Institute for Reproductive Health are raising awareness through their new website, Don’t Drop the Ball.
The site is being used to raise awareness that condoms break and that pills are forgotten about with the excitement of the holidays and New Year’s Eve parties. They have also created a hilarious video about how if you can accidentally text your Grandma on New Year’s Eve, what else can go wrong?
While condoms breaking and forgetting to take your birth control pill at the same time every day is a great thing to raise awareness about since they can both happen at any time, especially in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the holidays, there is another issue that should have at least been mentioned on the website. New Year’s Eve is the biggest party night of the entire year and when we decide to go out and celebrate in an atmosphere like a bar or house party, that additional issue that could be raising the sales of emergency contraception immediately following the last day of the year is date rape.
This initiative had the chance to really raise awareness about violence against women and date rape during the holiday season; it happens a great deal in an atmosphere where people are generally having a great time and celebrating the start of a new year. This is the exact atmosphere where no one would notice someone slipping something into your drink if it is left unattended or would notice the absence of your presence if you left the party or a bar early; people are too wrapped up in celebrating and having a great time with their friends during a time like a New Year’s Eve party, which is why you really need to adopt a trust no one mindset if you’re planning on joining your friends out for the night.
The bottom line of the initiative, however, is great and something to definitely keep in mind–A lot can go wrong with your birth control plan, not just during the holiday season, but at any time so it’s always wise to keep in mind that emergency contraception is available. With its use, you can prevent pregnancy after having unprotected sex for up to 72 hours after the act and unlike the anti-choice groups would like you to believe, it is not an abortion pill in any regard. You can obtain emergency contraception at your local pharmacy over the counter and without a prescription, if you’re over 17 years old. For those under 17, you will need a doctor’s prescription. It is also very important to keep in mind that emergency contraception, as well as the oral contraceptives that may be a part of your current birth control plan, do not protect against sexually transmitted infections, so if you have had high risk sex, get checked by visiting a local Planned Parenthood or clinic that tests for sexually transmitted infections.
For more information on Plan B emergency contraception click here.
If you or someone you know has been raped, please reach out to RAINN by using the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1.800.656.HOPE) or Online Hotline.
Sex Education is Being Reformed! New Evidence-Based Sex Education Amendment Passes in House Committee
Earlier this week the US House Energy and Commerce Committee approved legislation in a 33-23 vote to support comprehensive sex education. The Healthy Teen Initiative amendment has been added to the proposed health care reform bill, known as the Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009. The Healthy Teen Initiative allocates $50 million dollars in state grant funding for evidence-based sex education programs and will work to reduce teen pregnancy, reduce the spread of sexually transmitted infections, and comprehensively address a range of teen sexuality issues. It will also work to build life-long skills to promote good sexual and reproductive health throughout a person’s life.
Personally, I find it a little sad completely and utterly pathetic that I am sitting here writing a post about how awesome it is that we’re finally going to have evidence-based sex education programs taught in schools and organizations. Seriously people–What the fuck are we doing where we need the US House Energy and Commerce Committee to approve legislation to support comprehensive sex education? This is common sense. There is no such thing as telling a teen not to have sex and then thinking that they are actually going to listen to you. When it comes to sex education, you need to have the mindset that whoever you are educating is going to go out and have sex because whether you like it or not. Whether you believe they should or not, they are going to make that decision on their own and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it but feel confident that you have given them all of the information they need to effectively protect themselves against an unwanted pregnancy as well as against sexually transmitted infections. But that isn’t how you wanted your kid to turn out? Too bad, since they are equipped with that pesky free will thing.
But some still aren’t complacent with this common sense approach to sex education and are still fighting to give abstinence-only sex education a voice in the system. Congressman Lee Terry (R-NE) proposed that the failed amendment that funded abstinence-only sex education programs be extended to 2012 since their funding expires this year. Thankfully this proposal failed by 3 votes, but the scary thing here is that it could have very well passed and we could have still been funding an amendment that lies to teens if just three people had changed their votes. That is not enough support for comprehensive, fact and evidence-based sex education. Sex education is not an issue where “both sides” can get along. Abstinence-only sex education robs people of way too much for it to have any place at all in the curriculum taught to teens. They need facts, not a sermon that is better reserved for church.
Mexican City Government Launches Free HPV Vaccination Campaign
The Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) is one of the major causes of cervical cancer. It infects 20% of men and women in Latin America and as explained by Nubia Muñoz Calero, Columbian pathologist and physician, a member of the committee of scientists in charge of supervising the HPV vaccine Gardasil’s clinic trials, and nominee of the Nobel Prize for Physiology and Medicine 2008, there is an 80% change of getting infected with HPV over one’s lifespan.
Because of the tremendous risk of being infected with HPV and going on to fighting a battle with cervical cancer, the Mexican City government has launched a free Human Papilloma Virus vaccination campaign to reduce cervical cancer rates. The announcement came after Panama launched a national free HPV vaccination campaign last October. The Mexican government then launched the Programa de Acción Específico de Cáncer Cérvico Uternino 2007-2012 (Specific Action Program on Cervical Cancer 2007-2012), a comprehensive plan aimed “to reduce the mortality and morbidity rates through the provision of excellent services for the promotion, prevention, detection, diagnosis, treatment and suffering control, as well as the responsible participation of the population on health care.” Last December, thousands of girls received the first dose of the vaccine, as well as a short information session including topics on sexuality and documentation related to gender violence.
The vaccination will cover the capital city and will be provided to about 35,000 girls between 11 and 13 years old, in all health care centers of Mexico City. The reason why this vaccine is being given to girls, rather than already sexually active women, is because in order for the vaccine to have the most effect and to have better results, it should be administered to someone before they are sexually active, as HPV is a sexually transmitted infection.
The HPV vaccine has been sold in Mexico since 2006; however, it was only provided by the private health centers at a very high cost of $600 USD. The HPV vaccine is one of the most costly vaccines worldwide and for the implementation of the Mexican campaign, the government has allocated about $10 million.
It’s great to see that Mexico is making the HPV vaccine readily available to girls at no cost; this is especially beneficial to low income girls who could have never received the vaccine otherwise. Cervical cancer is the most common form of cancer among Mexican women and according to a report [PDF] from the HPV Information Center, approximately 5,775 Mexican women die every year from cervical cancer and has the highest mortality rate of any cancer affecting women in Mexico. It’s fantastic to see that the Mexican government is using their money to ensure a happy and fulfilling future for the girls of Mexico who could have very well become cervical cancer statistics.
Oral Sex and Reciprocity
Sex, Sex, Sex and more Sex. We are so obsessed with sex that we often attach it to things that it has no relation to and when it comes to the actual conversations about intercourse, we use ridiculous euphemisms to highlight our supposed discomfort. Speaking directly is something that is often discouraged in women and yet we are expected to be overwhelmed with our lovers prowess even when they leave us wanting to reach for a vibrator.
Sexually, men are understood as predatory and in constant search of sex and this dynamic is routinely played out in the bedroom. No man is ever too shy to say suck my dick and often fellatio is perceived as a necessary prerequisite to copulation. A woman that does not enjoy giving head or finds it repulsive, is deemed to be sexually repressed. When it is about a man’s pleasure suddenly the idea of female sexual purity dissipates… Erections often lead to a loss of supposed sexual morality; orgasms before slut shaming.
Many men hump under the false assumption that their dick is the key to multiple orgasms and sexual bliss for women. How many times have you had a dick waved at you like it was this long awaited prize that you had been dreaming about forever? Oh yeah a dick, like they aren’t readily available for the asking.
I am going to let all the men reading this in on a little secret. A guy that is good with his hands and his tongue is a KEEPER. If you can polish a pearl until a woman’s eyes roll back in her head, then you my friend will always be invited into a bed. Don’t be a selfish lover.
I cannot tell you over the years how many times I have heard women complain that their lovers won’t go down. Seriously WTF…enough with men going down 3 times for every ten blowjobs they get. That stat is worse than the pay inequity between men and women. Where is the equality and reciprocity in that bullshit?
Even worse than that disgusting statistics are the weak ass reasons why men refuse to put their tongues into service….It either “smells down there”, (note suddenly they can’t say pussy or vagina), or they just “don’t like it”. Try telling a guy you don’t like giving blow jobs and set the stop watch because it will be seconds before he starts explaining to you that you have sexual issues.
Telling you that you smell, is just a way to shame you into accepting his failure to be a considerate partner. It is common knowledge that the vagina is often constructed as dirty and to tell a woman that she smells “down there”, preys upon this meme and unnecessarily shames her. I don’t know where men image got the idea that their crotch smells like a bed of roses. The crotch is not a sweatless, odourless area and whether male or female, there is an odour. Call it body musk, call it crotch rot but no genitals smell like a 500 dollar bottle of perfume.
Even when some give in, it is often a case of “if you really want me to”, accompanied by a childish whine. Socially we still view sex as something men do to women, and orgasms as something men give to women. We fail to understand that this false meme is centered solely on the penis entering the vagina, rather than a sexual act that is meant to specifically pleasure a woman. As womanist/feminists ,we long ago claimed a right to our orgasms and so I must image ask why the hell are so many women still putting up with this bullshit? To me it seems really simple; if you want head give head and if the man you’re fucking cannot agree to that, wouldn’t a hot bath, a shower nozzle and a good book be less frustrating for all?
Cross Posted from Womanist Musings
Withdrawal a Viable Method of Contraception?
According to the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth regarding methods of contraception used by sexually experienced women, 90% have used condoms in their sexual past and present and 82% have used in the pill. These statistics are not necessarily news, albeit the percentage of women who have used the birth control pill as a method of contraception is a little lower than other studies I have seen recently, but granted that this study was conducted in 2002, that is to be expected. However, a method of birth control that women have used and have been using that has not been considered a viable method of contraception is withdrawal (or, “pulling out” or “get out when you’re gonna get off.”) According to the survey, 56% of women have relied on withdrawal at some point in their life.
New commentary from Guttmacher Institute by Rachel K. Jones, “Better Than Nothing or Savvy Risk-Reducing Practice? The Importance of Withdrawal,” [PDF] was published in the June 2009 issue of Contraception. The commentary highlights that withdrawal is only slightly less effective than condoms when it comes to preventing pregnancy.
The best available estimates indicate that with “perfect use,” 4% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 2% of couples relying on the male condom. More realistic estimates suggest that with “typical use,” 18% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 17% of those using the male condom. In other words, with either method, more than eight in 10 avoid pregnancy.
Sex educators have been extremely hesitant to promote withdrawal as a viable method of contraception and in my book, that’s a good thing. Sex educators must be comfortable in knowing that whatever information they put out for the general public will be picked up by and taken 100% completely seriously by teenagers because teenagers believe anything when it comes to how to go about having sex without becoming pregnant. With the growing rate of teenage pregnancy, I do not believe that we should be telling them about how withdrawal and the male condom basically prevent pregnancy with the same statistics. Think of your teenage years and the teenage boys you probably slept with–Most likely, a great deal of them had very little knowledge of what they were doing to begin with; add them trying to withdraw when they are about to orgasm and chances are, you would have had a few problems on your hands.
On the other hand, I do believe that withdrawal should be looked at as a viable method of birth control when people have very little access to other resources, such as being able to purchase condoms or birth control pills, but only if those people are in a monogamous relationship and had already been tested for any possible sexually transmitted infections. While sex is great and should most definitely be enjoyed, it is more important to make sure you are being safe and protecting your health because by using just withdrawal you are not protecting yourself against infection or disease; the same goes for just using birth control pills.
As Jezebel pointed out, health providers and sex educators have been known to stigmatize women who practice withdrawal, telling women that they might as well not use anything at all. When counseling women on sexual practices and contraception, it is very important not to shame the woman you are trying to help. Thanks to this study, we now know that telling a woman who practices withdrawal that she might as well not use anything at all is inaccurate and also unhelpful to the woman and her sexual partner.
I can definitely see withdrawal being regarded as a viable method of contraception purely for lack of any other resources, it would at least give sexually active people something to fall back on when trying to prevent pregnancy, but there are other factors to take into consideration as well when counseling people, men or women, on methods of contraception they can rely on. Bottom line, if you have no other options, withdrawal is something that you can use as a method of contraception with impressive statistics on how effectively it has been shown to prevent pregnancy, but the sexually active male must have a great sense of self-control as well as a deep understanding of his own body. He must make sure that he can either delay orgasm until he can withdraw as well as know not to “get caught up in the moment.”
Sex(ist) Columns Turn a Woman’s Intelligence into Blathering Pieces on the Bedroom
DailyMail has published two separate articles in the past two days on one topic–Intelligent women are better in the bedroom. Both articles were written by different people, mentioning the same study conducted by Professor Tim Spector at King’s College in London, which leads me to think that they couldn’t merge the two stories that basically say the exact, same thing. Both articles use Spector’s so-called study to turn a woman’s intelligence into a “selling point” for better sex lives and to my disappointment, both articles were written by women.
The first article I read concerning this study smacked me in the face with sexism, starting with the title. ‘Bad luck bimbos: Intelligent women have better sex, study reveals’ In the second article, the caption under the article images reads ‘Bad news bimbos! Intelligent women have twice as many orgasms, a study shows’ I take my previous comment back, apparently both writers knew they were both covering this study and perhaps they did merge their stories, since the same, woman shaming, sexist wordage appears in both.
Bimbos!? Seriously!? For an article whose purpose it was to, I’m assuming, highlight a study that excited the women who wrote about it and perhaps even made them feel sexually liberated themselves, knowing that they are indeed intelligent women and all, why is it acceptable to treat ‘intelligent women’ as some sort of club; as if intelligence in women is something you just don’t see every day? This mentality undoubtedly exists, as I have been acquainted with men who, after reading my website, just could not believe how intelligent I was because I am a well-read woman who writes about politics and social issues. While I have experienced this ignorance myself–several times–and have also seen it dripping from newspapers and magazines targeted towards women, but written by men, it deeply concerns me when I see a woman who has let society dictate to her that some women are just not as good; which I took from just the title of this article. The word ‘bimbo’ is an extremely sexist and derogatory term to call any woman.
As I was expecting, adorning both of these articles were also pictures of “intelligent, sexy” women (pictured to the left) since when talking about intelligence and sex appeal, the two cannot be combined without an image of the oh so cliche ’sexy librarian,’ including black framed glasses. Must be more of that ’sexy nerd’ fanaticism society is so fond of.
The way the articles are presented and Professor Tim Spector’s study itself differ greatly, if you can look past the sexist, woman shaming title and cliche images. While the word ‘intelligent’ and ‘intelligence’ comes up repeatedly, the intelligence Spector references in his study refers to ‘emotional intelligence.’ Women who are able to express their feelings apparently have a better time in the bedroom than those who are unable to express emotion. Am I the only one a little sick of the ‘emotional woman’ aspect? I mean, sure, women are emotional, as are men. The only reason that this particular study has made it into the media is because the ‘emotional woman’ is still a sexist society staple and we use that staple time and again for publicity in magazines and newspapers that are targeted at women and used to shame women even more. If a woman isn’t afraid to speak up for herself when no one else wants to, whether it be to her acquaintances or in the workplace, she is deemed as being overly emotional or hysterical and a hindrance to those around her.
But now all of those stereotypes can be put to rest since our emotional states can now be used to spice up our sex lives, right? There really is nothing like taking woman shaming to the next level and attaching it directly to being looked at as merely nothing more than a sexual object. Way to go, Professor Spector!
Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign of North Carolina Answer Teens’ Questions about Sex
The Birds and Bees Text Line, started by the Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign of North Carolina, has given teens ages 14 to 19 a reliable service to receive answers to questions they have about sex. Teens are encouraged to text the Birds and Bees Text Line and within 24 hours, they will receive a cautious, nonjudgmental reply texted to their cellphones from a nameless, faceless adult at the Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign of North Carolina.
The decision to start the Birds and Bees Text Line came after realizing that in many areas of the country, rates of teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases remain constant and are even rising. North Carolina’s public school system is forced to teach an abstinence-only curriculum and has the country’s ninth highest teen pregnancy rate. For the last 15 years, school officials and politicians have debated whether the sex education curriculum should mention contraception and during this same time, public health officials have been trying to figure out how to educate teenagers about sex beyond the classroom; because obviously school officials and politicians are too concerned with their own agendas to give a damn about giving their youth the information they need to make informed and educated decisions about their bodies, health, and sex. If you do not give teenagers the sex education that they need to prepare themselves for adulthood, do not expect them to not have sex and to not get pregnant, having never been given the education to even know that they should make sure a condom is present.
The program received a $5,000 grant for the cellphone line and advertising from the State Departments of Health and Human Services, but president of the North Carolina Family Policy Council, Bill Brooks, does not like the idea of the Birds and Bees Text Line, for the main reason that teens can receive answers to their sex ed questions through their cell phones and not in the company of their parents, saying:
“If I couldn’t control access to this information, I’d turn off the texting service.” “When it comes to the Internet, parents are advised to put blockers on their computer and keep it in a central place in the home. But kids can have access to this on their cellphones when they’re away from parental influence — and it can’t be controlled.”
Brooks also believes that the abstinence-until-marriage sex education curriculum is working for the state and no group or organization should teach anything outside of that curriculum, whether they are attached to the school or not, saying, “It doesn’t make sense to fund a program that is different than the state standards.”
It is people like Bill Brooks and organizations like the North Carolina Family Policy Council who are damaging teenagers by voicing their out of touch policies and condemning groups and organizations that are trying to reach out to teens to ensure that they have answers to the questions they have and are making sure that these teenagers know how to protect themselves, while Brooks and people who think like him, feel it is best to keep their teenagers in the dark, refusing to provide them with basic comprehensive sex education. You cannot erase adolescent curiosity about sex and the sooner these people realize that, the better.
Hearing about the Birds and Bees Text Line made me incredibly happy; they are doing great work and I hope that they continue to do so and provide teens with a positive source of the information they want and need, regardless of who tries to stand in their way.
Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation
Masturbation is a healthy part of every person’s life. Even as part of a relationship and while maintaining a healthy sex life, self-love still plays a healthy role in one’s life.
People start exploring their bodies at very young ages; from infant boys who every time you change a diaper, their hands are immediately exploring their penis and young girls who will mindlessly start exploring themselves whenever time permits. This is extremely healthy and positive behavior, but there are a great deal of people and organizations who beg to differ, going as far as to saying that any type of sexuality whatsoever, including masturbation, is unnatural, sinful, and just about anything else they can think of in order to scare people out of doing something that is natural and should be celebrated.
Jamye Waxman has a master’s degree in sex education and has written the book Getting Off, an entire guide to masturbation just for women–Or for men who want to know more about the body of a woman and pleasuring all of those sensual zones a woman has. Getting Off is an asset for every single woman, regardless of their knowledge of sexuality or their bodies. The book goes over several different topics, from the anatomy of an orgasm (the small, indifferent orgasm, the mediocre, satisfying-but-not-by-much orgasm, the can’t-get-enough, pass out afterward orgasm, and everything in between), fantasies, vibrators and other sex toys that can be used to heighten sexual pleasure while masturbating, how masturbation is viewed by mainstream media and the people who use the media as their only ground for knowledge, and so much more.
While reading through the different sections of the book, I was overjoyed to see a lot of the topics brought up that I didn’t expect to be brought up in such a refreshing light, such as the topic of anal sex and stimulation and how a great deal of women enjoy anal stimulation but feel too shy to explore the possibilities it can bring them sexually due to its social stigma as being referred to as strictly an exit. It also highlights a great deal of fun facts, such as the fact that graham crackers and Corn Flakes, food items that people eat to curb hunger, which in fact invented to curb masturbation, and the first vibrators were found in doctors’ offices to help cure women of “hysteria,” or what I deem as merely “sexual frustration” since the hysterical woman stereotype is still alive and going strong.
Getting Off is a resource that you will find yourself flipping through again and again, it is full of extremely positive and helpful information and completely obliterates the falsities that society and mainstream media have put in place for women, especially the “prudish woman” title or the belief that women cannot be sexual and sexually satisfying individuals.
Submissive Feminists? Professor Foxy Gets It Right
I’ve seen this question pop up a few times within the feminist blogosphere; off the top of my head I know I’ve seen it addressed over at Greta Christina’s Blog. Professor Foxy has started posting over at Feministing not too long ago and she is a sex educator, dealing with questions on sex and sexuality and a question she answered today was from a feminist who likes being dominated in the bedroom.
Professor Foxy,
I’ve had submissive sexual fantasies since I was very young and it’s something that I’ve always found really difficult to come to terms with. I’m a very assertive and driven person in real life so it’s just really hard for me to accept how much I sexually enjoy giving up control and power.
I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for two years and we’ve experimented quite a bit with bondage and dominance play. It’s always incredibly arousing and fun for me. And he enjoys it too because he can tell how much it turns me on.
Intellectually I understand that these feelings are just a part of my sexuality and that they don’t have anything to do with who I am outside of the bedroom. But at the same time, every once in a while I just feel so ashamed and guilty. It’s hard to reconcile being a feminist with my strong sexual desire to submit. What can I do to accept my sexuality for what it is?
-Conflicted feminist
I was thrilled to see Professor Foxy’s response; it was completely spot on and as the comments are already indicating, a lot of women find themselves conflicted when it comes to their feminism and their sexuality so this is not new, but still something that women find themselves torn with themselves about.
Here’s the response:
Hi Conflicted -
A good step towards accepting your sexuality for what it is may be to unpack it a little bit more. I want to quote you back to you: I’m a very assertive and driven person in real life so it’s just really hard for me to accept how much I sexually enjoy giving up control and power.
I’m going to come back to the first part, but first let’s focus on the second part of the sentence: I sexually enjoy giving up control and power. YOU give up control and power. In the real world, power and control are taken from women in an effort to make them submissive. In your sex life, as convoluted as this may seem, you are in power because you make the choice to give up power. Your boyfriend (yay for him) engaged in this because you (still in power) asked him to engage. As much as the sex play is about you “giving up power,” in reality you are still the one in control.
A friend of mine is a strong, independent, assertive woman, who, like you, enjoys being submissive sexually, says it this way, “even when I am being submissive, I know that I am the one in power. I let the person dominate me, I set what can and cannot be done, and I can call a beginning and stop to the action.”
And now back to the beginning of your sentence “I’m a very assertive and driven person in real life.” Sex can be a healthy way of achieving balance in our lives. Acting out your submissive side (a side every person has) allows you to unwind and let go. We all need to have a place to act out all of our different sides and it looks like you have found a place to act out one of them.
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this. Do your bedroom practices differ from your feminism, or more broadly, from the person you conduct yourself as out of the bedroom?
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Out Campaign
The OUT Campaign allows individuals to let others know they are not alone. It can also be a nice way of opening a conversation and help to demolish the negative stereotypes of atheists. Let the world know that we are not about to go away and that we are not going to allow those that would condemn us to push us into the shadows.
