Mother’s Day and the Release of No Trespassing

May 11, 2008 by Holly in film, sexual assault  

no trespassing Today is Mother’s Day and no matter how hard I try to forget about this day, it still manages to come, mock me and leave for another year.

This day is by far a great day for most people–Mothers for one. It is also a great day for people to show their mothers how much they love and appreciate everything that they have done for them. However, sometimes you get that special case where one day out of the year just doesn’t mean the same to someone as it does to others; and Mother’s Day is that day for me.

I have not seen my mother in almost a decade. No, she isn’t dead, but she may as well be. My mother was not like most out there. My mother was a child abuser. She was a child sex trafficker and a child molester. She was (and still is) a drug addict and an alcoholic. I stayed silent about so much that happened during my childhood for so many years and it was last year where I pretty much just deteriorated. My layers of walls that I had spent years of my life perfecting melted away and I started to talk about what I had gone through and that was the best time of my life. I had stayed silent for so long because I was afraid of what people would say, how they would see me and most of all, I was afraid of what the rest of my family would think about me. While I was still in my mother’s custody I had told her that I would tell on her some day and she said that no one would believe me and I believed her.

I still don’t know what the rest of my family thinks. I was never really given the opportunity to speak to them about all of this; whenever the subject of my mother has come up my grandmother would be the first one to say that she didn’t want to hear about anything because it made her upset to even think about what happened. My father, while I love him immensely, has never been one to show or voice his emotions and so the verdict is still out on that one. My aunt had talked to me very briefly about it, after reading an interview I had done with my local newspaper about being a survivor of child sexual abuse. Not being given the opportunity to actually speak to my family about my childhood, I decided to publish it in a newspaper and send it to the doorsteps of 70,000 people living in my area.

While I have undoubtedly progressed in this whole healing process (not to mention being raped when I was 18 at the one and only college party I had ever attended and starting the whole “healing process” over again,) I have quite a ways to go and with that, to further symbolize this day for me, my short film No Trespassing was released today.

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  • Thank you so much for sharing that, Holly. I'm really sorry to hear about what you've gone through and can only hope that you never experience anything that hurtful again.

    As for your short film, congratulations. I watched the trailer when you posted it and will try to make the time to sit down and watch it tomorrow, as I'm heading to bed now. That's a pretty big deal, though, I think, and you should be proud of yourself.
  • I am really touched with this story of yours. it takes a lot to share this with people, I admire you for this! God bless you!
  • Kaytee
    i'm soooo sorry for everything that you went through.
    you know you can always talk to me now about anything.
    i'm your sister and i will do anything for you.
    i love you.
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