Celebrating Christmas When You’re an Atheist
Like most people out there, especially those living in the US, I was raised celebrating Christmas; however, I was not raised with the religious background that most believe Christmas comes with. My father, as far as I know, simply does not recognize religion and my grandmother and aunt, who also played a very big role in my upbringing, are agnostic. Christmas was never a time for midnight mass or prayer, although up until a few years ago while my great-grandmother was still alive, there was a simple grace said at Christmas dinner and that was about it as far as religion playing a part in holiday festivities and even that has ceased since there is no one in my family or who gathers at our holiday meal who considers themselves a theist.
While a great deal of people will argue that if you are not religious, you have no right in celebrating the holidays, particularly Christmas. However, I think that what these people do not understand is that Christmas is not merely a holiday of midnight mass and prayer and spirituality, but also a time for family and a time for giving and also a time to truly reflect and appreciate everything that you have in your life and that is something that everyone can truly get behind, regardless of personal religious beliefs.
I recently saw a great video about a book I am now very intrigued about, The Atheist’s Guide to Christmas by Ariane Sherine. It’s a book of stories, essays, personal anecdotes and the like about Christmas and in honor of the holidays, but also with a great dose of science thrown into the mix. The reason why I really love the concept of this book is because it truly shows you what Christmas means to so many different people of so many different religious and spiritual affiliations and how it is truly a time of togetherness, peace, love, acceptance and giving. It is a time to reflect and to appreciate your life and what you have in your life.
You can check out the video that introduced me to the book below:
There is, of course, another facet of Christmas that I did not mention yet, and that is of course, rapid consumerism. Now with being raised with Christmas in a non-theist home, I was of course raised with the belief of Santa and gift. However, also with that and staying true to the real message we are instilled with when it comes to the holidays, in addition to receiving gifts on Christmas morning, I was also reminded of the message of appreciating what we had and in regards to consumerism, what my family was fortunate enough to be capable of providing me with, which you then gain a deeper understanding of when you find out or are told that Santa never really existed.
So I guess it goes without saying at this point that I did celebrate the Christmas holiday. I spent some great time with my family and with my partner’s family and we were fortunate enough to be able to give my partner’s two young children a great Christmas. Of course the magic of the holiday was attributed to Santa, but as they get older it is my hope that they will also be able to remove rapid consumerism from their minds for a small part of their holiday as they get older to take a look around them and truly be able to appreciate their family and see how magical the holiday can be; and that goes for everyone.
My Christmas tree before the mayhem of gift unwrapping began.
I hope everyone else had a great holiday and continues to enjoy the rest of their year!
Your Holiday Kitty Feel-Good
My cat, Devin, playing with catnip under the Christmas tree. Admittedly, catnip was used as a ploy to get her to stop climbing the tree and knocking ornaments off to play with.
Did you know YouTube actually sends you an email to congratulate you for uploading your first video? Makes me feel like I did something awesome, other than exploit my cat a little bit.
And yes, it’s true that most feminists are cat lovers.
Winter Skin Blues
No one is really immune to a classic case of winter blues; when you live in a northernish state known for brutal winters while all other seasons last a good few weeks and no more, you become quite used to more dark than light and a day when you wake up in the morning and there isn’t snow on the ground is an odd one. But this winter has brought a whole new slew of problems on me this year. Winter skin blues.
First and foremost, we had our first good snowfall where all you could see outside is white on October 16th. The middle of October! No nice colorful leaves of autumn goodness, but snow. You can see a picture of that below:
So that alone was a great indicator that this winter would be bad.
My gene pool pretty much sucks, to say the least. In addition to the fact that I live with Periodontal Disease and my father as well as my grandmother suffered through the same dental ailments; my grandmother had dentures at 17 years old and my father had them at 45, and I can pretty much assume I will have them by the time I’m 30 or so, if I’m lucky. My father, sister, as well as myself also have a wonderful case of stress-induced psoriasis. As soon as stress creeps up into our lives, bam! my hands break out with itchy, bumpy rashes. But apparently that was not enough because as soon as winter set in here in Pennsylvania, my skin went completely downhill and spazzed out!
For a few weeks I had a wonderful case of eczema. After numerous oatmeal baths and weeks of applying cortizone cream and hydrating lotions to my legs, arms and stomach, it healed and went away. After a few days of thinking Hooray, it’s gone! I am victorious! Take that, skin! it got below freezing outside for a few days, we had more snow and freezing rain, black ice, the whole brutal winter thing and then my left arm broke out in a rash that turned into what looks like blood vessels that had burst. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that for the past few weeks I have Googled every infection, disease, cancer, everything that could result in disgusting rashes. At the end of my “research,” all I have to do is wait out this horrendous winter weather while feverishly applying prescription creams and hydrating and moisturizing lotions and keep my stress level down or I’ll have even more skin issues to deal with.
Fun! Thank you, winter!
Happy (Day Late) Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Here’s a hilarious Fun With Shorts video that greatly depicts what would-be Glenn Beck’s Paranoid Thanksgiving.
Love Conquers Hate and Together We Have Strength
Miriam Mercado’s son, Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado, was brutally murdered, dismembered, decapitated, and his remains were partially burned two weeks ago in Puerto Rico. News of this devastating hate crime has sparked outrage within and around the GLBT community and their allies throughout the world and earlier this week, candlelight vigils took place all across the United States. The photos and video footage of those candlelight vigils will be used in efforts for full prosecution in the case, as well as getting this case prosecuted as Puerto Rico’s first ever hate crime on the books.
On the day those candlelight vigils took place, Miriam Mercado spoke out against her son’s murder and she had a sound message to deliver to everyone–that love conquers hate and together, we have strength. I am so in awe of this woman’s strength and the compassion she has that she is sending to those around the world who know her story and keep the memory of her son alive today.
Transcript:
Keep in mind that this is a loose translation from Spanish to English, some sentences frankly don’t make a lot of sense but the tremendous message that love conquers hate and no person, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, deserves to be treated any less than any other person is very much in tact.
Hi. My name is Miriam. I am Steven’s mom. My family and I are incredibly grateful for all the love, the unconditional support that you have given me. That’s what gives me the strength, in part, it gives me the force for me to bring a message: Love conquers hate. And this we have to shout to the world because… Steven was a human being. He was my son. He was a brother. I ask you and beg you, everyone in the world, that we should love everyone else no matter what’s there. Behind of what is there, there is a human being, just like my son, who did not deserve this. In the name of my family and my own, I offer my hand, I don’t have how to pay back every… the demonstrations and the love that I have received. So we are all going to bring a message: Love conquers hate. And together, we have strength.
This 10 Year Old Won’t Stand for a Country that Doesn’t Support its GLBTQ Population
Will Phillips is an exceptionally bright 10 year old boy who recently skipped a grade in school and whose family had always taught him to be aware of what’s right, wrong, and what’s fair. The family has many friends in the gay community and they are allies for the community, having attended pride parades and standing up for the rights of their gay and lesbian neighbors, including their right to marry and to adopt. Will has always tried to analyze things (because he wants to be a lawyer) and it is that logic he uses when he hears the pledge of allegiance and has determined that we do not really live in a country that gives liberty and justice for all, which is why he has refused to stand up and recite the pledge of allegiance in school–after asking his parents if it was illegal to not recite it, of course.
The first time Will refused to stand and recite the pledge of allegiance he had a sub at school, a woman who had known his mother and grandmother. When he refused, this woman got angry and resorted to telling Will that she knew his mother and grandmother and that they would want him to stand up and recite the pledge of allegiance. Will is very, very lucky because he has a supportive family who raised him to respect and taught him about the unfairness that GLBTQ people are treated with by their own country. Of course this substitute teacher was incredibly out of line to tell him that she knew his mother and that she would want him to stand up and recite the pledge when if she truly knew his mother for the woman that she is, she would know that his mother lets him make his own decisions and come to his own conclusions with his analysis, and as long as he is not hurting anyone (and in this case he is actually extending love to others and standing up for the same people that are discriminated against) I do not see the problem.
There are undoubtedly people all across the country who have heard Will’s story and support him for exercising his right not to stand up and recite the pledge of allegiance, but where there are supporters, there are people who are condemning him and taking the completely close-minded ‘America: Love It or Love It‘ stance. One comment I saw on another blog that mimicked everything that we constantly hear from people who think they stand for the people of this country but really all they stand for is homophobia, bigotry and blind admiration for the country:
This kid doesn’t deserve to live in this country. We have soldiers overseas fighting to save his sorry *** and he can’t have the respect for the nation that he lives in to say a simple pledge? If he doesn’t support this country he can find someplace else to live because anyone who takes dislike to this country can feel free to take their ignorant selves elsewhere. I understand him supporting gay rights but first of all, the national government doesn’t even control laws about homosexuality because it was not a power given to them in the constitution; it is a right reserved for state legislation. If he is so knowledgeable in this area of politics he should also be aware that Arkansas, like most southern state, is a very traditional, conservative state and one that frowns upon homosexuality, in this case i could understand him not supporting his state because they do exactly what he is against. That being said, even if the national government did have control over issues like this, it’s still not an excuse to support the pledge. It’s very simple, if you don’t support the country than the country shouldn’t support you and you can find somewhere else to live like Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Somalia etc. and then see how bad it is to live here! This kid has a lot to learn! He is being just as ignorant as the gay bashers that he is fighting against and if you’re supporting this your just as ignorant as that kid too!
I seriously love this kid and sticking to his convictions about the discrimination against GLBTQ people in this country. When the war in Iraq started I was in high school and I was (and still am, obviously) opposed to the wars that we are currently sacrificing our soldiers for. So in the mornings in home room, I refused to stand or recite the pledge of allegiance. Of course, just like in Will’s case, it caused quite a stir with my teachers who were offended by me and my refusal to “support my country.” I ended up having to get a note written by my father saying that it was fine for me not to stand and recite the pledge of allegiance and present it to the principal. Thankfully, my father has always respected my opinions and decisions, in life and my political stance, and because I have been gifted with my father’s sarcasm and sense of humor, he did write a letter to my principal… telling him that he does not remember having to write a note giving me permission to stand up and recite the pledge of allegiance in the first place. No, the apple does not fall far from the tree.
Way to go Will, keep fighting the good fight!
Help Make Puerto Rico Prosecute the Murder of 19 Year Old Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado as a Hate Crime
On November 14th the body of 19 year old Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado was found on an isolated road in Cayey, Puerto Rico. His body was partially burned, both of his arms and legs, as well as his torso were dismembered and he was also decapitated. While giving a televised statement, the police officer on this case said that Mercado deserved what happened to him. But in what case would someone possibly deserve to be tortured like this? Well, because he was gay and if that wasn’t heart-wrenching enough, the suspected murderer in the case is claiming self-defense, which will undoubtedly be used to invoke gay panic throughout the communities where this case has spread.
The suspected murderer is 26 year old Juan Antonio Martinez Matos, who has confessed to the murder and torture of Mercado, whom he believed at first to be a female prostitute. When discovering that he was a man, Matos who also claims he had been molested at a young age, thus his immense homophobia and bigotry, stabbed, dismembered and decapitated Mercado; he then set the remains of the body on fire. Where the whole self-defense thing comes in is when he claims that he was almost stabbed by the victim.
The police officer on the case stated during his televised statement, “These types of people, when they enter this lifestyle and go out into the streets know that this could happen.”
Sadly, this police officer’s statement is the same way many Puerto Ricans still feel and never in Puerto Rico has a crime been tried as a hate crime. This is unacceptable; what happened to Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado is unacceptable and incredibly sad. Someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity is never to harm someone physically or emotionally. Luckily, someone is speaking out about the hateful comments made by the police officer in this case. Activist Pedro Julio Serrano said, (this is loosely translated from Spanish to English) “It is inconceivable that the investigating officer suggests that the victim deserved his fate, like a woman deserves rape for wearing a short skirt. We demand condemnation of this investigator and demand that Superintendente Figueroa Sancha replace him with someone capable of investigating this case without prejudice.” Well said.
Because this case has outraged many within the GLBT community and their allies and many have been speaking out about this case, candlelight vigils for Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado will be held throughout the United States. On Sunday, November 22nd a vigil ceremony will be held in New York at Manhattan’s Pier 45 at 5:00pm. The Manhattan vigil will take place in conjunction with satellite Sunday vigils in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, Chicago, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Durham and many other American cities. The photos and video footage of these vigils will be used in efforts for full prosecution in this case, as well as getting this case prosecuted as the first ever hate crime in Puerto Rico.
You can also support the efforts of the prosecution of this case as well the family and friends of Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado by joining the Facebook page.
Women’s Studies and Education Privilege
At the end of October a list of 50 eye-opening Women’s Studies blogs was released and much to my surprise, Menstrual Poetry was on that list. Also to my surprise, it wasn’t just shoved at the bottom of the list with a description of something like ‘a woman who likes to spout her opinion a lot but has no idea what she’s talking about,’ which I honestly would have expected. The reason why I was so surprised is probably because I do not carry a Women’s Studies degree to wave around in the air whenever my identity as a young feminist is questioned or persecuted. In fact, I have never had any college education whatsoever and more to the point, while it has not been a topic on Menstrual Poetry, I have my GED, so I also do not have a complete high school education.
To be included in a list of Women’s Studies and feminist blogs that include staples within the feminist blogosphere like Feministe, Feministing and Shakesville, is a deeply humbling and really fucking awesome moment, especially considering that most, if not all of the people who have founded these blogs do possess a degree of some sort and have had the opportunity to learn and lend their voices within a woman, feminist, GLBTQ-friendly Women’s Studies class.
Which brings me to another point… I think another big reason why I was so surprised to be included in the list of 50 Eye-Opening Women’s Studies blogs, which was compiled to give people who want to “compliment [their] current education with a good dose of Women’s Studies” the resources to do so, is because there is a great deal of education privilege, especially in the US. Most of the time, if you tell someone that you did not attend college or if you studied at a community college, rather than a four-year university, you are looked down upon; people often think that you are stupid, lazy, or you don’t care about your future, which is not the case in the least. The simple truth of it all is that some people have the opportunity to attend a university due to a combination of various and important factors and some people just don’t and regardless of the fact that they did not have the opportunity to experience college, these people work just as hard, if not harder, to make the best of their lives and their futures living in society.
When it comes to the feminist blogosphere, there is an insane amount of education privilege; in fact, it is Women’s Studies and English degrees in overdrive. Just look at the about or bio sections of some of your favorite feminist, womanist and humanist blogs–chances are you’ll find out what kind of degrees your favorite writers hold within the first two sentences of their bio. These bloggers also go on to write books, which you’ll probably find the titles of within the first three to four sentences of their bio and as soon as their books come out, they are appearing on daytime talk shows and are fielding political commentary on MSNBC or being put on panels to create public and social controversy on FOX News. They go on book tours and do readings in local Borders and Barnes & Nobles, they conduct speaking events at colleges around the country and immediately, they are seen and accepted as the “new face” of feminism. They are then practically handed opportunities to write for wide-reaching, influential publications in print and online alike. Now, I am not saying that these people do not deserve the credit that they have, are and will receive; they have undoubtedly worked hard for their social standing in the feminist population, but I have noticed a great deal of education privilege in the most popular of feminist web spaces and it truly bothered me.
It was quite a few months ago, but I still remember a video where a contributor of Feministing was talking about books she had currently read and while critiquing a book of poetry that was not a book of ‘feminist poems,’ but just of poetry in general, she commented on how the author of the book “obviously did not have the opportunity to attend a Women’s Studies class,” which to me, meant that she thought and was saying that the author’s book apparently could not appeal to the feminist majority because she wasn’t feminist enough. I’m sorry, but that is complete and utter bullshit and by saying that, she basically informed the young feminists who visit Feministing that they are only good to the feminist population and to their communities and to their country with a degree in hand.
Just like any other group of people who unite as one in order to achieve anything, the feminist population is one that is made up of several different types of people and it really bothers me that the perspectives, the thoughts and the opinions of a certain percentage of that population are being taken seriously or seen at all merely because of the fact that they had more opportunities than the rest. If that wasn’t bad enough, it is those same feminists who have had these opportunities and who have written books and who have appeared on television and in publications and have guest posted for the Huffington Post and Alternet and other influential publications that are the same people who are also ignoring the rest of the feminist population and who truly believe that in order to be a good feminist or a real feminist you have to have a Women’s Studies degree in your possession. The way I see it, you do not need to attend a class for however many years you are in college to teach you how to be and think like a feminist–you just are, it’s a part of your personal belief system. Your opinions of society and culture and the political-driven world we live in are not necessarily something that is taught to you.
You do not need a Women’s Studies degree in order to prove that you are a feminist; your activism says and proves a lot more.
Feminist: It’s Just About the Worst Thing You Could Be
Feminism is in the media, you just have to know where to look to find it and even then, chances are you’re going to have to dig pretty deep through your popular publications to find an even so-so assessment of what feminism truly brings to the table and gives us our due hat-tip for our activism and our relentlessness. Feminist media is all too commonly seen as a niche or is marketed as “special interest,” or there’s the proverbial slap in the face when you see a truly important issue that either affects women or it is deemed acceptable to include the feminist population in a piece and it’s shoved in the style section of The New York Times. When you get through the thick of it, in most cases feminism just isn’t taken seriously by the boy’s club, misogynist media.
Two significant publications that recently put feminism in the media spotlight are A Woman’s Nation Changes Everything, written by Maria Shriver and co-written by the Center for American Progress, and Gail Collins’ When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to the Present. Both of these publications highlight women’s achievements and victories over the past few decades and from the scope of society as a whole, that is all well and good; women have indeed accomplished a great deal securing the rights necessary for women to live long, healthy and happy lives, but there is still a great deal of work to do. When it comes to a major portion of our reproductive rights, well, there are a great deal of anti-choice, woman-shaming and misogynist people who hold significant power and a political agenda that is always trying to take those rights away. In order to claim victory over our own bodies, life choices, career opportunities, salaries and more, feminism needs numbers within the passionate, activist-driven younger community and sadly, because of how misrepresented feminism is in society, there are an astounding amount of women out there who refuse to go near the word ‘feminist.’
As Antonia Zerbisias recently pointed out in an article for Canada’s The Star, feminists are truly seen as hairy-legged, man-hating, social outcasts and even the enemy in the United States. Her assessment of feminists being seen as man-haters and as “feminazis” is really yet another ploy driven by misogynists in power to keep women in their place and I am inclined to agree.
From personal experience, the moment you tell someone that you are a feminist (and it always comes up eventually,) they usually take two steps back, especially if they are male, or will come out with some sarcastic phrasing like “Oh boy, one of those!” or something of that nature. I realized how deep this hatred for feminists goes when I was on Facebook one night and someone I knew when I was around 14 and 15 years old messaged me. We were catching up and the question of what I’m doing these days came up, so of course I rattled off what I do for work and also the fact that I run a liberal and feminist blog. Within seconds I was sent a reply that said “I hate feminists.” I wasn’t too surprised by this reaction, I’ve gotten it a lot, to say the least and I know the ignorance surrounding the concept of feminism and activism very well, but that didn’t stop me from being sad for this person, especially considering that they had just exited the world of college campuses and the feminist activism taking part on college campuses across this country is amazing and is so needed, especially considering just the one issue of violence against women and date rape that so often occurs on college campuses.
But why does this person hate feminists and feminism? Because the media portrays feminism in such a negative light that it is up to us to set the record straight and hope that the people who don’t know too much about what feminism really is and what feminists really do finds our spaces and delves into our words with an open mind because I’m not giving up the personal identity of being a feminist, regardless of how many times someone thinks they are saying something new or something hurtful when they call me a feminazi. I’ve never been a woman who could be “put in my place.”
The Good, The Bad and The Burning
Warning: This post is mostly about “lady parts” and “lady problems.” If the words vagina, menstruation, bleeding, tampon, pad, and/or urinary tract infection or any variation of the previous words offend you, it would be wise on your part to cease reading the following post.
I had always loved that Renee over at Womanist Musings posted monthly about getting her period. I think these posts were especially important and made an impact on the people who had the opportunity to read them because she combined sarcasm with common sense, that she was a crazy, dangerous menstruating woman–a jab men so very often can’t help themselves but to take. She also assured those who were reading that when a woman menstruates her vagina is not unclean; it is not vulgar, nor is it disgusting; it is merely a bodily function that is completely normal. I am willing to bet that every single woman who has hit puberty has been asked if she was PMSing if she had the audacity to speak her mind. So I had always loved these posts and although I haven’t seen one in quite a few months from her, you should really sift through the archives if you hadn’t yet had a chance to read one.
I had always toyed with the idea of either writing my own monthly period posts on here or guest posting over at Womanist Musings every once in a while with one, but by the time I had remembered that I wanted to do this every month, it was usually by the end of my period and it isn’t necessarily newsworthy to me anymore. Until this month. Oh, this month is interesting in Holly’s world of menstruation.
I woke up with cramps on the morning of October 26th and started bleeding shortly thereafter. While I like to use reusable cotton and fleece pads because they are extremely environmentally-friendly and also a great deal healthier for women than disposables, I didn’t have any readily available because that’s just how it is when you live in an apartment building without a washer, yet there is a dryer available–weird, but anyway, I broke into my backup disposable products. When I go with disposables, I’ll opt for a tampon over a pad, but I never use a tampon the first day of my period because my cramps are so intense that it ends up causing me even more abdominal pain, so I put a pad on and went on my merry way like I do every other month. That night I felt fine so after taking a relaxing bath, I put a tampon in. Again, I went on my merry way. About an hour later and I noticed something was wrong. Very, very unpleasantly wrong. So I take the tampon out, go to the bathroom and the burning! The intense burning sensation that came absolutely out of nowhere that I could not understand for the life of me. It was as if I just decided to pour an entire gallon of hot sauce in there just to see what would happen. That’s the kind of burning we are talking about here. The hottest hot sauce in existence was obviously coursing itself through my vagina and the evil, evil tampon is what caused it! So now we’re two days into my period time and it has only gotten worse. I’ve had my fair share of urinary tract infections but usually they just disappear after a few days of downing as much cranberry juice and Alka Seltzer my body can hold. So my very first ‘Hey everyone, I have my period and it’s completely normal’ post is more of a ‘Hey everyone, I have my period and oh yeah, I feel like I have to pee every 36 seconds!’ Because yeah, we didn’t even get to the urgency part of this yet. The urgency to pee is so strong that by the time I flush the toilet, pull my pants up, walk downstairs and sit down at the computer, I have to turn around and go right back up the steps and into the bathroom again so my bladder can empty about a half a teaspoon of urine and then feel the agonizing burning of the fire of a thousand suns…in my vagina. In fact, when you have a urinary tract infection, there is not much more to your daily routine than constantly running to the bathroom to expel a half teaspoon of urine per every 20 minutes you sit there thinking that there must be more inside of you that needs to come out, but to no avail. When this happens, it seems you can be more efficient if you just took your laptop into the bathroom with you so you don’t have to keep running there while in the middle of doing whatever it is you’re doing, so that is exactly what I have done…and I think I am the most productive while sitting on the toilet, laptop on lap, waiting for the urgency and the burning to subside.
Get Social
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Out Campaign
The OUT Campaign allows individuals to let others know they are not alone. It can also be a nice way of opening a conversation and help to demolish the negative stereotypes of atheists. Let the world know that we are not about to go away and that we are not going to allow those that would condemn us to push us into the shadows.
