Confronting Hyper Sexuality In The Black Community
As the mother of a young child who is approaching his tween years, thoughtful consideration of our social dialogue as it relates to sex and sexuality has been of great personal concern. Along with assuring that my child receives accurate information to make the correct decisions for him, ensuring that he understands that even the options that are available to him are strictly a result of his race and gender are an essential part of an evolving conversation on sex and sexuality.
When educating black children about sex, it is not enough to speak about the mechanics of the act. Though it is an absolute necessity to stress safe sex in a time where AIDS has reached a truly epidemic stature within our communities, the why we choose to engage in sex can and should be an equally important conversation.
Children come to an understanding of our world by interacting and confronting the agents of socialization. They will receive clear and direct instructions on performing gender, race and sexuality. These intersections are internalized and accepted as normative, despite the fact that they are often damaging on multiple levels.
Black children in particular must deal with the social idea that their bodies are hyper sexual. This can be seen in the overtly sexualized images of black women in rap videos, or the black male as rapist construction. In both of the aforementioned examples, sexuality is perverted in that it is presented as overly aggressive, and existing outside of normalized engagement.
The virgin/whore dichotomy is continually reified through the lens of race wherein white women exist with the construction of purity and the black female is reduced to the ever wanton Jezebel. This construction has its foundation in slavery. It was meant to justify the repeated rape of black women by their white male slave owners.
Though we have long since moved beyond slavery as a condition of living in the broader culture, its shadow continues to interject itself into our discourse about sex and sexuality. Young black girls quickly internalize the idea that their bodies exist for consumption based in the falsehood that they are continually desirous of sex. This construction removes the agency from the decision to have sex and implies that sex must occur because that is the foundation of the black female identity. It further reifies a hierarchy of beings wherein the black female is routinely located at the bottom. Bell Hooks theorizes that the black woman has no institutional other, and when we examine the discourse of sex and gender what immediately becomes clear is that the politics of colonization and oppression continually manifest in ways in which foster a negative sexual identity in black females.
Reducing black women to simply sexual beings without agency or autonomy over their physical beings translates into high rates of teen pregnancy and a low cultural self esteem. If your identity is based on sexual performance rather than achievement in education, it perpetuates the idea that success can only be achieved by conforming to the role of eternal Jezebel. This creates an unhealthy sexuality in that sex is no longer something one engages in to share pleasure or manifest a loving relationship, but to assert a form of self worth.
While a healthy sexuality is important to achieve a well rounded sense of self, the overvaluation of it is detrimental. Reducing women to what they do with their vaginas rather than with their brains serves patriarchal interests. For black women who have a history of slavery the perpetuation of the Jezebel complex amounts to the continued colonization of black female bodies.
This form of sexuality is also heterosexist nature in that it constructs women as existing solely for the purposes of male sexual pleasure, while ignoring the existence of same sex loving women. Lesbian love is delegitimized because it does not actively serve patriarchy; and therefore its erasure is not only a slight on black women, but on all women that identify as lesbian. Queer culture is very much a part of the black community, but when sexuality is controlled by outside forces instead of individually, certain identities become invisible if it is deemed that their existence does not help to maintain the race/class/gender hierarchy.
The model held for the black male is quite similar to the black female. It once again finds it origins in slavery; wherein the black male was constructed as the sexually aggressive savage to promote distrust between black men and white women. In this way white men are assured their place at the top of the race and gender hierarchy, while constructing themselves as the saviour of white women and the socially evolved masters of black men.
The hyper masculine sexuality that is presented as a model to black men can be seen in rap videos, and throughout mainstream media. The black male sexuality that is offered is one that is desirous of continues conquest; wherein the pleasure of the act itself is over looked. Black men are perceived not to engage in sex because it is an act of intimacy between two beings; rather it is construed as an act that reifies their masculinity. In a world where in the black male is continually reduced to an exotic “other” combating such images can be difficult. If masculinity is derived through sexual conquest, then this reinforces a problematized identity.
Just as same sex loving is detached from black female sexuality, a queer identity is similarly not associated with black male sexuality. Black masculinity is forever measuring itself against that of the white male. Due to the historic imbalance caused by racism any form of sexuality that is deemed “socially deviant” is actively denied. This has given rise to living a life on the “down low”. Though black males are certainly not the only ones to lead closeted lives, the tendency to deny sexual orientation is higher because of the association of black masculinity and sexual conquest. This is not healthy and is ultimately damaging to the individual on many levels.
We have a tendency to speak about sex as though it is divorced from other social elements, yet it is one of the most complex forms of human interactions. When we ignore the complexities of race, class and gender in our discussions it has a tendency to minimize the ways in which different groups of people not only understand but experience sexuality. What must be paramount when we seek to educate our youth is that they be made to recognize that though they are the products of social construction, as individuals they exist with ability to transcend norms and create a sexuality that is not only more positive, but a reflection of their right to possess a sexuality in which the onus is on individual agency.
When we begin to discuss sexuality with black children, it is important to make connections to the ways in which racism has affected our understanding of what it is to be black, while at the same time exist as a sexual being. Reclaiming sexuality from the race infused dialog would foster a more positive understanding of what it is to be sexual thus encouraging youth to see this as a decision that is not synonymous with claiming their gender identity, but in sharing an experience of intimacy with another.
Write, Collage & Play Your Way to the Life of Your Dreams
As we take our first few steps into adulthood we are often told that now is the time to “grow up.” To get serious about our futures, get a stable job that we are most likely going to hate in a few months yet still find ourselves there after 20 years, and make sure we can support ourselves and the family we’re supposed to start as soon as possible with whatever person who is willing to put a ring on our fingers. Before you know it, we’ve been living the “grown up” life for decades and forgot all about those dreams we had for our lives while we were growing up.
Life is fast-paced. Life is much like going 120mph in a 35mph zone. It waits for no one and if we don’t keep up, life is pounce all over us without a second thought. As an adult who is determined to live the life I’ve always dreamed of for myself, I look at my family and the jobs that they have and I wonder about the lives they wanted for themselves before adulthood happened to them. So few of us really get to do what we want with our lives and I find that so unfortunate that I often find myself urging the people close to me to do what they really want for themselves; to go after their true passions instead of just living a life that gets them by and that is exactly what the author of the Permission to Dream journal, Lisa Hammond, has done.
The Permission to Dream journal is all about giving yourself the permission to go back in time and think about the dreams you had when you were younger; before life got in the way. It is a spectacular journal that allows you to write, collage, play and get back in touch with the arts and crafts child, teenager and/or young adult in us and really fulfill our dreams. If you knew that you wouldn’t–couldn’t–fail, what would you do with your life? Would you go back to school? Start your own business? Become a dancer or a veterinarian or an archaeologist? We are the only ones with full control over our own lives and while some of us may forget that at times, the Permission to Dream journal reminds us.
The Permission to Dream journal is a one of a kind journal with sections like ‘Remember Your Dreams,’ ‘Building Your Dreams,’ and ‘Living Your Dreams.’ Each section begins with a wish list and a prompt that will get your in the mindset to really let your dreams take off. It brings you from simply thinking about your dreams and how you want to live your life and into thinking about what it would take to accomplish it. Not only is the sky the limit in this journal, but it will get you thinking in terms of doing and no longer just wishing.
Contribute to WOC Speak
WOC Speak is a new blog carnival put together by the amazing Renee of Womanist Musings. It is dedicated to the voices of women of color and allies exploring and speaking out about race, class, gender, sexuality and all of those little “isms” we love so much.
The carnival is dedicated to giving women of color a voice and will be published on the 15th of every month and submissions for the carnival will be accepted until the 10th of every month. It is imperative to take notice of and discuss the issues surrounding race in our culture and society today. There is so much to teach and so much to learn and so I cannot urge you enough to write and/or submit your posts to WOC Speak and also check it out on February 15.
Submit your posts here and you have 10 more days to get your posts in so the clock is ticking.
Spot the Difference!
I was so completely moved by the following two pictures, originally posted by Jill as Feministe, that I just had to share.
These two pictures are the signings of two of the most important bill signings for women’s rights in the past few years.
The Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003
The Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009
These pictures really speak for themselves. It is astounding what can happen in six years, especially when it comes to women’s rights. Having a pro-woman administration really does wonders.
The SCHIP Expansion Bill has Been Approved
The Senate approved a bill to expand and reauthorize the Children’s Health Insurance Program in a 66 to 32 vote and President Obama plans to sign this legislation into effect. The State Children’s Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) provides health insurance to children from low-income families who cannot afford private health care but do not qualify for federal Medicaid. SCHIP currently provides health insurance to more than 7 million children and passage of this legislation expands the program to cover 4 million more children, including for legal immigrants.
In the most blatant of terms, SCHIP provides health insurance to children of families who are stuck in the middle–Not poor enough to be considered for federal insurance, but too poor to even think of the possibility of purchasing insurance from private and major companies. It has been an unfortunate situation, to say the least, to exist in the middle of the spectrum as far as income goes, so often putting families in damned if you do, damned if you don’t positions.
Not surprisingly, this is a version of the same that had been vetoed twice by ex-President Bush because as well all know now, he and his administration was all about killing Americans whether it be restricting Americans access to health care, insurance, or in war. We have waited for quite some time, but we finally have an administration that works as hard for us as we do for them. We have an administration that genuinely cares about its people and is determined to ensure that every American is receiving what they deserve.
Sex-Positivity
I'm passionate about sex-positivity and believe every sexual being should have the freedom to explore their sexuality safely and without condemnation. I even lost my ad network after my refusal to censor myself after reviewing feminist porn.So if you're in the market for sex toys, porn, books, etc. take a look at the retailers below, all of which are feminist-friendly.
Out Campaign
The OUT Campaign allows individuals to let others know they are not alone. It can also be a nice way of opening a conversation and help to demolish the negative stereotypes of atheists. Let the world know that we are not about to go away and that we are not going to allow those that would condemn us to push us into the shadows.
