The Psychology Behind Men and Prostitutes
With cases such as Eliot Spitzer’s latest scandal, as well as other male politicians whose prostitution habits had been found out by the general public, many may be asking themselves–What drives these men to fornicate with prostitutes? Is it all men and we just happen to shed light on politicians and point fingers as if men all over the place aren’t doing the same thing? What is it about prostitutes, in particular, that drive these men crazy to the point of risking their careers and putting their families on the line?
What must first be understood is the psychological appeal of prostitutes, which is what Michael Bader of AlterNet, a person who has studied the dynamics of sexual arousal for almost 15 years, has spoken out about in order to create a sense of understanding.
When it comes to a regular relationship, it is said that men feel as if they must give a great deal to their partner in order to get a little something back. Our culture represents women as high maintenance individuals who must be cared for by a man and are otherwise helpless in life, always needing the attention and demanding the security of a man. While those exaggerations are often false, it is our society that has conditioned men to believe that this is true, making their intimate relationships suffer when it comes to a man who wishes to have his needs met and they begin to freak out and are said to be overwhelmed by what is expected of them.
It does not matter what type of prostitute a man is hiring, it can be a woman who charges over $5,000 for an hour or it can be a woman prostituting herself on the street for $50 a night, what it comes down to is that when payment is made, the man is getting his wishes tended to. It is said that while politicians, in particular, are used to wielding power and keeping people under him in check, no one is working for this man without getting something in return–and that is where the appeal of prostitutes comes in.
A prostitute serves as a slave to a man’s needs. She is an actress, although to the man, he does not care that what he is receiving for his money is a one-woman play and an act that he gets to be nothing but a prop in. This is the man’s time to shine and get whatever sexual kink he has attended to–No questions asked and no need to reciprocate. A prostitute is sought out when a man wishes to let go and selfishly indulge in his desires without having to give anything back to the woman who performs for him.
So basically, prostitution is sought out when men realize that they cannot handle what is expected of them as men and want to be entirely selfish in their actions even when what society depicts most women to be is false. Prostitutes are wanted by the men who don’t want to sexually please their wives or even care about her desires, but women can most definitely be counted on to be standing by their selfish, hypocritical and cheating men. Breaking wedding vows never needed many psychological explanations before, so here’s the Reader’s Digest version:
He does not want to be in a relationship; instead, he wants someone who will make him look like a “family man” who cares about and loves his family so he can get a few votes and make his way into office where even more stress will be put upon him. He wants this while he can also go behind his wife’s back and get his needs met while constantly complaining that his wife wants too much from him. My advice is to go out and find a man who can indulge in his kinky desires with you, while you are comfortable enough to know that he will do the same for you. Open and honest communication never hurt a relationship, either…Who knew?
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Nice content. But always remember guys, a successful man,behind him always has a woman supporting him. So don’t call for prostitutes service again and try to manage an intimate relationship with your wife and family.
Nice content. But always remember guys, a successful man,behind him always has a woman supporting him. So don’t call for prostitutes service again and try to manage an intimate relationship with your wife and family.
I agree about being intimate with your wife, but your family??? Lol.
Honestly I think this is pretty bang on. I have talked to a lot of guys who feel like having sex with their wife is like a chore with a lot of pressure involved. The pressure of course is to bring her to climax, but some women can take a very long time to be brought to climax. I think when a relationship gets to that point it’s lost the intimacy aspect. If you’re married and in the situation where you feel pressure and having sex with your partner is a chore, I would suggest you stop masturbating and thinking about other women in any sexual capacity. Build up your desire for your wife and be more affectionate.
Not always, some successful men make it because they do not have to deal with baggage back home and have the capacity to thus put in the hours to rise to upper levels of management because he is able to devote fully to his company rather than dividing it between the company and the family thus making him a more desirable candidate for the executive job.
From a mans perspective – Perhaps the guy simply doesn’t want to put up with nagging, complaining, and a generally annoying situation. He simply wants to fulfill his biological needs and be not put up with everything else that comes with being married. A reason exists why prostitution is the worlds oldest profession.
It’s simple – get a grip – you shouldn’t have got married if that’s not what you really wanted and stop being a lying and a cheating hypocrite!
From a mans perspective – Perhaps the guy simply doesn’t want to put up with nagging, complaining, and a generally annoying situation. He simply wants to fulfill his biological needs and be not put up with everything else that comes with being married. A reason exists why prostitution is the worlds oldest profession.
Monogamy causes prostitution. Men want a harem. It’s probably what’s driving the divorce rate. Women only know what it’s like to be a man when they are in “heat”. One or two days a month. We have to live that way every minute of every day. Well maybe not right after…….. : )
Monogamy causes prostitution. Men want a harem. It’s probably what’s driving the divorce rate. Women only know what it’s like to be a man when they are in “heat”. One or two days a month. We have to live that way every minute of every day. Well maybe not right after…….. : )
Go live with the Zebras then. You seem to be on the same wave-length as them.
good post…i think for us humans…infatuation and love just simply doesnt mix…sad to say though.
good post…i think for us humans…infatuation and love just simply doesnt mix…sad to say though.
Infatuation is the root of all evil!! lol
thanks for post, will trackback.
Infatuation is the root of all evil!! lol
thanks for post, will trackback.
Michael Bader’s article was interesting and agree with parts of it.
Hmmm…”A prostitute serves as a slave to a man’s needs. She is an actress, although to the man, he does not care that what he is receiving for his money is a one-woman play and an act that he gets to be nothing but a prop in. ” This is a sweeping generalization that contradicts my and plenty of others’ working experience. Did I feel like a slave to individual clients? No. Not at all. In the grand scheme perhaps but not directly with my clients. As wrong as they may be for cheating and lying, they’re not all aggressive and violent. Selfish? Sure. But that’s not synonomous with intentionally cruel.
Something I found odd right from the get-go was that many of the men were seeking validation and reassurance and really want to believe our words are genuine. For some men, the ego is satiated by displays of moronic macho aggression, but plenty of others just want to buy the illusion that they can satisfy a woman. IME, they were not unpleasant to spend time with, and plenty do make efforts to please us, albeit unsuccessfully in many cases. For me, what was really unexpected was how many men really seem to want to be coddled, petted, and reassured, even outside of a sexual context. Going in I braced myself for the “wham-bam” attitudes and treatment, but that turned out to be exception rather than rule. My clients generally demanded lots of time and attention.
Just pointing out that variation does exist within prostitution. The scripts all ultimately lead to the same ends, but they’re not written identically and there is no set tone. We may be actresses, but that doesn’t mean we’re incapable of experiencing some measure of pleasure. There are women that hate going through the motions, understandably, but that doesn’t apply to every prostitute. Hell, the sex was one of my favorite parts to the date, at least for a few years there. The root of the problem is male privilege, which makes the selfish sex and violence a reality out of a sense of entitlement to do so.
Why do men see prostitutes? You really want to know? Because they CAN. What kind of men come to us? Any kind, all kinds. Preachers, pediatricians, attorneys, techies, entrepreneurs, utility workers, foreign exchange students, Catholic school teachers, professors, truck drivers, chefs, men that live in their parents’ basement, law enforcement officials, military personnel, veterans, and, of course, politicians. Any race, any religion (in fact the uber-religious seem especially enchanted with seeing prostitutes), just so long as he can afford to pay. And there is a price out there to suit any budget.
Sure, some men are trying to escape their responsibilities and troubles. And some are just misbehaving little shits, screaming “Look what I can do!” Many are quite smug, impressed with their ability to pull a fast one on their wives. A few claim their wives have serious medical or psychological conditions, removing intimacy at home as an option. And as another commenter mentioned: some men just feel they’re entitled to a harem (though most freak at the idea of their wives taking another lover).
So, IME, the men weren’t usually overly-aggressive or outwardly resentful (though it certainly does happen). Most of mine could be considered downright jovial, but why wouldn’t they be? They’re living it up! They have money to burn!
As the clients so fondly like to remind us: “We don’t pay you to fuck, we pay you to leave afterwards!” Yep, it’s their party and they’re all hopped up on superiority, insensitivity and disillusionment.
Extended exposure leads to jadishness.
They’ll cry when they’re caught, but it’s just another act. Once forgiven and enough time has elapsed, many return to seeing prostitutes. Sometimes I wonder whose the greater actor here, us or them? The performances over the phone talking to their wives, with a woman laying in the bed waiting… It leaves little doubt of their overall opinion of women. The mothers of their children, their wives, the women they parade around in their politics and religion to promote the “sanctity of marriage”…and not only do they lie and cheat, but they’re awfully damn proud of themselves. Do you know why? Because chances are she’s going to take him back. He knows our dirty little secret…we depend on him.
Now, why do politicians cheat when they have so much to lose? Because they possess this false sense of invincibility. They’re supermen, drunk on status and power, who can do what they want even if it blatantly contradicts the values they judge others by and profess to hold dear. It’s bullshit. But most politicians are bullshit. Besides, all of their buddies are doing the same thing and they don’t want to feel left out.
Reader’s Digest made the most sense!
Did you ever consider the pain that you and your Johns are putting innocent wives through? I am one of those wives. Shame on you and your selfish addiction to money, secrecy and sin. The John is not the only one who is accountable for his actions, you are too. You are not glamorous no matter what you look like or how young you are. Your actions will follow you through your aging process where you may reevaluate your opinion of your chosen hobby.
Did you ever consider that, actually, the John is the only one who is accountable for his actions? Men blame women for the thoughts women inspire; but it’s women like you who accept the blame. Men need to take responsibility for how they react to any and all external stimuli. Women need to hold them to that responsibility.
If men can be successfully trained to ignore bullets whizzing past them as they charge forward on the battlefield, then they can find a way to be in the presence of a beautiful woman and simply enjoy it without making nuisances of themselves.
Women have a deep sense of expected loyalty to eachother whether they know ot not it’s engrained in us (and it would be a beauitful world if we all stood hand in and hand and started by not judging eachother)
This is were wives and GF’s are incline to attack and blame the prostitute or mistress,it’s a deep sense of betrayal among women! This is were this comes from but at the same time men feed on this because it makes them look like poor innocent so and so was seduced by the whyles of jezabel and couldn’t resist,NOT THE CASE!!
I understand you wanted to spew your hurt anger and sense of justice at the volunteered prostitute who came here to give some insight but don’t attack. It’s important to get a perspective from an escort,keep working on your hurt and anger and make sure to distribute it evenly with your husband who CHOOSE to see one.
and yes she’s just as much to blame but lets step back on the boards,remain neutral and learn.
Thank you. There are so many people who seem to think that only men have sex drives and so would rape if prostitution was illegalized, when it’s all really just about what they feel entitled to. Men have raped women when it was acceptable. Now it’s not, so instead they go to prostitution, which is expected if not acceptable. The real root of the problem is really what you say: that relationships are too often about what the other person can give you and not who they are.
Michael Bader’s article was interesting and agree with parts of it.
Hmmm…”A prostitute serves as a slave to a man’s needs. She is an actress, although to the man, he does not care that what he is receiving for his money is a one-woman play and an act that he gets to be nothing but a prop in. ” This is a sweeping generalization that contradicts my and plenty of others’ working experience. Did I feel like a slave to individual clients? No. Not at all. In the grand scheme perhaps but not directly with my clients. As wrong as they may be for cheating and lying, they’re not all aggressive and violent. Selfish? Sure. But that’s not synonomous with intentionally cruel.
Something I found odd right from the get-go was that many of the men were seeking validation and reassurance and really want to believe our words are genuine. For some men, the ego is satiated by displays of moronic macho aggression, but plenty of others just want to buy the illusion that they can satisfy a woman. IME, they were not unpleasant to spend time with, and plenty do make efforts to please us, albeit unsuccessfully in many cases. For me, what was really unexpected was how many men really seem to want to be coddled, petted, and reassured, even outside of a sexual context. Going in I braced myself for the “wham-bam” attitudes and treatment, but that turned out to be exception rather than rule. My clients generally demanded lots of time and attention.
Just pointing out that variation does exist within prostitution. The scripts all ultimately lead to the same ends, but they’re not written identically and there is no set tone. We may be actresses, but that doesn’t mean we’re incapable of experiencing some measure of pleasure. There are women that hate going through the motions, understandably, but that doesn’t apply to every prostitute. Hell, the sex was one of my favorite parts to the date, at least for a few years there. The root of the problem is male privilege, which makes the selfish sex and violence a reality out of a sense of entitlement to do so.
Why do men see prostitutes? You really want to know? Because they CAN. What kind of men come to us? Any kind, all kinds. Preachers, pediatricians, attorneys, techies, entrepreneurs, utility workers, foreign exchange students, Catholic school teachers, professors, truck drivers, chefs, men that live in their parents’ basement, law enforcement officials, military personnel, veterans, and, of course, politicians. Any race, any religion (in fact the uber-religious seem especially enchanted with seeing prostitutes), just so long as he can afford to pay. And there is a price out there to suit any budget.
Sure, some men are trying to escape their responsibilities and troubles. And some are just misbehaving little shits, screaming “Look what I can do!” Many are quite smug, impressed with their ability to pull a fast one on their wives. A few claim their wives have serious medical or psychological conditions, removing intimacy at home as an option. And as another commenter mentioned: some men just feel they’re entitled to a harem (though most freak at the idea of their wives taking another lover).
So, IME, the men weren’t usually overly-aggressive or outwardly resentful (though it certainly does happen). Most of mine could be considered downright jovial, but why wouldn’t they be? They’re living it up! They have money to burn!
As the clients so fondly like to remind us: “We don’t pay you to fuck, we pay you to leave afterwards!” Yep, it’s their party and they’re all hopped up on superiority, insensitivity and disillusionment.
Extended exposure leads to jadishness.
They’ll cry when they’re caught, but it’s just another act. Once forgiven and enough time has elapsed, many return to seeing prostitutes. Sometimes I wonder whose the greater actor here, us or them? The performances over the phone talking to their wives, with a woman laying in the bed waiting… It leaves little doubt of their overall opinion of women. The mothers of their children, their wives, the women they parade around in their politics and religion to promote the “sanctity of marriage”…and not only do they lie and cheat, but they’re awfully damn proud of themselves. Do you know why? Because chances are she’s going to take him back. He knows our dirty little secret…we depend on him.
Now, why do politicians cheat when they have so much to lose? Because they possess this false sense of invincibility. They’re supermen, drunk on status and power, who can do what they want even if it blatantly contradicts the values they judge others by and profess to hold dear. It’s bullshit. But most politicians are bullshit. Besides, all of their buddies are doing the same thing and they don’t want to feel left out.
Reader’s Digest made the most sense!
I think you are all overlooking the fact that women cheat just as much as men do… especially the women in positions of power or authority.
I think you are all overlooking the fact that women cheat just as much as men do… especially the women in positions of power or authority.
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found your site on del.icio.us today and really liked it.. i bookmarked it and will be back to check it out some more later ..
I have a slightly different take on men who visit prostitutes. From an Indian perspective, many rural men live in urban areas to earn a living so that their families in the villages don’t starve. These men are simply fulfilling a biological need when they visit prostitutes. In this, the sex industry acts as a release mechanism for these men and performs an important social function.
I have a slightly different take on men who visit prostitutes. From an Indian perspective, many rural men live in urban areas to earn a living so that their families in the villages don’t starve. These men are simply fulfilling a biological need when they visit prostitutes. In this, the sex industry acts as a release mechanism for these men and performs an important social function.
I agree with you too Reena. Prostitution serves lots of different functions and is more complicated than we tend to give it credit.
I agree with you too Reena. Prostitution serves lots of different functions and is more complicated than we tend to give it credit.
Reena I see your point, but the fact is that many of these guys are not rural farmers in India! Many of them have a family (and a sex-neglected wife) waiting a few miles away.
Either way, I think prostitutes do serve an important function – overall a victimless crime when only adults are involved, IMO.
victimless? does no one care about the families of the cheating husbands?! have you ever met a child whos father used prostitutes? they aren’t the happiest children, let me tell you. ive seen a boys first tear over this issue. have you ever seen a woman break down because she found out her husband used prostitutes? its sad that you would even think this.
ask any wife and children waiting home for the dad/husband at the end of the day if this is a victimless crime. you could ask me… that wife is me. it is NEVER a victimless crime.
Reena I see your point, but the fact is that many of these guys are not rural farmers in India! Many of them have a family (and a sex-neglected wife) waiting a few miles away.
Either way, I think prostitutes do serve an important function – overall a victimless crime when only adults are involved, IMO.
Let me just say a few words concerning the following statement:
“Our culture represents women as high maintenance individuals who must be cared for by a man and are otherwise helpless in life, always needing the attention and demanding the security of a man.”
This is true to an extent. This is the effect that media and mass communication has on men. But to say that “those exaggerations are often false”, excuses the fact that this effects women also. Men may feel that their partners need them for stability, but in many cases, the women begin to believe it also. This view within our culture effects women just as much as men.
So, it is not only men that need to change, it is women also. They’re not entirely innocent, and nothing will change until the mindset of men AND women change.
Thanks.
Let me just say a few words concerning the following statement:
“Our culture represents women as high maintenance individuals who must be cared for by a man and are otherwise helpless in life, always needing the attention and demanding the security of a man.”
This is true to an extent. This is the effect that media and mass communication has on men. But to say that “those exaggerations are often false”, excuses the fact that this effects women also. Men may feel that their partners need them for stability, but in many cases, the women begin to believe it also. This view within our culture effects women just as much as men.
So, it is not only men that need to change, it is women also. They’re not entirely innocent, and nothing will change until the mindset of men AND women change.
Thanks.
married men are not the only customers. majority are unmarried and non-committed males.
the reason why prostitution exists is because men need casual sex more than women. if women and men both needed casual sex equally there would be no need for somthing like prostitution as they would do it with each other.
seconldy those women who want casual sex would be very selective and choosing only men of higher standards. bcos women are in a bargaining position.
the result is that the average male has limited opportunites to get casual sex socially. hence the need for prostitutes.
as far as married people are concerned women cheat on husbands too. but they wont need male prostitutes as they can easily do it with some hot neighbour guy.
men are willing to lower their standards significantly when it comes to casual sex.
so i think women should think twice before pointing a finger at men who visit prostitutes
married men are not the only customers. majority are unmarried and non-committed males.
the reason why prostitution exists is because men need casual sex more than women. if women and men both needed casual sex equally there would be no need for somthing like prostitution as they would do it with each other.
seconldy those women who want casual sex would be very selective and choosing only men of higher standards. bcos women are in a bargaining position.
the result is that the average male has limited opportunites to get casual sex socially. hence the need for prostitutes.
as far as married people are concerned women cheat on husbands too. but they wont need male prostitutes as they can easily do it with some hot neighbour guy.
men are willing to lower their standards significantly when it comes to casual sex.
so i think women should think twice before pointing a finger at men who visit prostitutes
thanks for interesting info!
[...] and what men feel is expected of them while also battling selfish desires and sexual needs with The Psychology Behind Men and Prostitutes posted at Menstrual [...]
i think poverty is one of the basic caused of the prostitutions. No women wants to be a prostitute with her own will. There must be some kind of helplessness or some kind of bad powers of the society which let them to do so. We must understand the root cause of the problem. Though in some country prostitution is an occupation as any other.
suspect that casual sleeping around is far more damaging to a woman than prostitution, given the likely resulting emotional confusion and turmoil. The prostitute can fairly easily create a sort of emotional distance between herself and her clients, largely because she knows exactly why she's sleeping with them: the reason is money. As above yes, in some countries prostitution is legal becuase they know the logic behind emotional and logical relationship between a men an her women, and between a client and a prostitute.
Reena I beg to differ with u as I have personally experienced this aspect of indian married men visting prostitutes and urban ones at that.In fact men do it for reasons that r absolutely horrenodous like to have variety,coz it s affordable and there is opportunity.It s been so close and painful for me since I discovered my husband has been to prostitutes not just one but several like moroccons, thai, etc ,etc in an indian metro.We are a lovely, highly educated respectable family wth two wonderful kids.He is living at the best address in town,is very well to do,has a smart highly educated and successful tech wife wth a great sense of humour,but that didn t stop him from not only having sex wth them but also performing oral sex and all other sick acts of intimacy.The worst aspect was that he was manipulated by the last whore into so called falling in love wth her and has promised her a marriage and custody of both my children wth a promise to him that she will not have children of her own to be fair to mine.Ialways thot and so did my friends that we had everythng going for us wth a global real estate profile,rocking bizness in imports,great sex life and waht have u.My therapist says it s only 2 percent of these cheating men that r caught while d others go undetected.With men travelling across continents on bizness and wth so many escort agents on d net,dont be complacent,ur husband cud be doing it under ur nose.It s only becoz of my high level of intution an IQ and of course God s divine hand, Istumbled upon d truth and believe me when I say it has devastated my family, my children, my booming career and my face with constant weeping.I wouldn t wish this on my worst enemy.Everybody is involved- the five star hotels,the police,underworld and the politicians.There are hundreds of families which r destroyed everyday wth children s secure lives going beserk,that s d saddest part of it all .The authorities should take action and ban all escort services sites on the net as prostitution is still illegal in India.Jus becoz these men who r worse that dogs on d street cannot keep their libido under chek, innocent women like me and my kids should nt pay such a heavy price…..
Uh … how educated can you be when you don’t even know how to spell?
How can you ask another person about how educated they might be when they probably know a lot more languages than you. You are making fun of the spelling in English, let’s see you spell in Hindi?
Vinita I must say that your comment is the only one I agree with. My prayers go out to you. I can't believe there are so many people commenting as if prostitution is ok.
I can not say I blame the women because yes there are a lot of women that only do it for the money. They will have to deal with their consequences they will face with karma soon enough in their own lives.
I did enjoy the article. However excuses, excuses!
Women stop being the fools. Know that these things happen on a regular. And thinking that it won't happen to you because your family is well off is idiocy. You are the main ones, sorry to say. But yes the men that have the money and have wives that don't keep close tabs get away with it all.
Stand up for yourselves or hell play the game too. All while enjoying that nice house and living he supplies!
look dear…karma will come to certain prostitutes,not to the 16 ,17 year old girls forced into and beaten raped and pisseed on daily buy white collar pigs like your husbands,and boyfriends. I work with recovery and them daily ,get off your hell and damnation high horse for saying these young molested sex traffiked young girls will be pubished for being held captive,druged and forced toperformthese acts…not all hookers are doing it by choice.BTW today we taking a 17 year old girl in for surgery from sadomy sessions from a multi millionaire who saw her daily and pised on her in the end,stop being a bimbo and blaming victimized woman so you can protect your pig husbands and boyfriends
That may be true for a lot of men, but not all. I've visited prostitutes a number of times because I do not want a relationship and a prostitute is the most expedient way of acheiving that. I would really prefer to fo find an escort I could see regularly and treat like a date when I see her, however escorts don't seem to want that, so I just accept the acting part as a negative aspect of the convenience.
that was a nic and showy pile of bullshit. maybe a few guys who use prostitutes do it for that. but most of us just do it because it beats taking care of business ourselves. Not everyone wants to be a a 2-way relationship. A prostitute lets us have sex, Withalso having kids, A family, Double bills, And a 2 way relationship as stated. it is just a release like any other. A man gets energetic, he plays sports. A man gets drowsy he sleeps. A man gets hungry, h eats. A man gets horny and he is not in a relationship then he has 2 options. A whore or a hand.
Prostitution's commonly happen when a wife doesn't have a time for her husband. Wife's are always tired cause of her hard work in house and to children. A man always ready for sex, he want to get want he wants.
Spoken like a true misogynist asshole who believes women are asking for it when their husbands cheat on them with prostitutes, or any other woman, really. It is pretty pathetic to say, and sad if you really believe, that a man is always ready to jump into bed. That kind of mindset is just a list of excuses made for men to act like sexist pigs and luckily, women aren't forced to put up with bullshit that demeans them or makes them feel any less than equal to their male significant others.
Stupid feminist cow … you’re pathetic for assuming it’s always the man’s fault and for promulgating the notion that a man is always to blame in any situation. Sure, lots of men are selfish dicks, but don’t forget that many women refuse to satisfy their men’s needs, leading to a situation where the men feel they have to get it outside of the relationship. Are you going to tell us that is an impossible scenario? Not saying that it’s right for a man to toss his marriage vows aside and fornicate with a prostitute but you also have to examine some of the root causes. In short, the women who were being cheated on were not necessarily blameless. So please learn to have a little bit of circumspection before you post your mindless feminist crud on the Internet.
My husband was going to prostitutes during the day, and having me satify his needs in the evening and him not satisfying mine. I would use the vibrator on myself while I sucked his dick, rubbed his balls, and let him watch porn at the same time and one night he even came 4 times that night when I did this and he was still seeing prostitutes. I was very into satisfying my husband because it turned me on, and I would have participated with him and another girl if that is what he wanted but he still secretly went to prostitutes behind my back, until he got caught!
It is not about the wife satisfying the needs of the husband it is about the variety and the shame that it is done in secret.
You’d much rather a man having sex with a prostitute than stringing along another woman purely for sex though!
Your article is full of a lot of bullshit. You clearly have no idea what you’re talking about and seem to have animosity and bitterness towards men. A man isn’t selfish because he visits a whore, he just wants to fulfill some carnal urges. It’s fun as hell and an amazing rush, and the dirtiness/seediness of it is a turn on. You’re just looking into it too deeply and trying to find something negative in it. And calling the man a prop? Ha ha, the woman is more of a prop to the customer who’s just helping him fill a sexual fantasy. She has it much worse than the customer.
The article is a bit biased in my opinion.
Women cheat on their husbands to, and Women can be just as selfish as men. Infact many married men go to hookers because they are not getting any at home. If their wives were more interested in sex maybe these men wouldn't have to resort to going to hookers.
The reasons why men seek out prostitutes is often so varied and complex it's impossible to get a striaght answer because every guy's reason is different. Quite frankly I really don't see how going to prostitutes is any morally inferior then picking up a stranger at a bar, or a golddigger who marries a rich guy for his money. Atleast with a prostitute everything is upfront. no bullshit, and no games.
Quite frankly it's not my problem what others choose to do in the privacy of their own homes or hotel rooms if you ask me, it should be legal.
So now I am really confused…….you don't want a relationship but you do want a woman you can sleep with but see more often than now…….isn't that in fact, a relationship ???? I think the reason men hire prostitutes is an overwhelming sense of entitlement.
And as for victimless, I think the poor deceived wife would disagree
Anyone who thinks prostitution is victimless, should read Reena's comments again.
[...] prostitution and how they feel about it; most people I’ve talked to seem to mirror what most studies have concluded. They say that it’s because it’s easier, less complicated and you get exactly what you [...]
My husband successfully lived a double life with girl friends, paid escorts while traveling and secretaries who vied for being his next wife – over 24 years of our marriage. All without my knowing. He was so good at lying. Then he started to act very unstable, then had a nervous breakdown. I thought it was post traumatic stress syndrome from an abusive childhood, boy was I wrong. It turns out that the stress was from living the double life. $28,000 for rehab and they tell me that he is in the “relationship, love and sex addiction treatment program.” That can’t be good, I thought. A year ago I got the “disclosure.” The truth was like a bad movie. You can’t even make this stuff up. Apparently, he had such a low self esteem that he looked for the approval of whores, who he gave our money to. Even after a year in his SA program of recovery, he can’t stay sober/get honest/get his sh*t together. I filed for divorce this week. I don’t know what the future holds, but it can’t be worse than living with a guy who lies, cheats and steals. Let the whores have him. But, seriously, will anyone really want him if I have his net worth?
The way I look at it, if you know that someone cheats at poker, would you even sit down at the table with them? You’ve got to know when to when to fold ‘em, know when to hold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run.
What if your wife is an alcoholic and has been since she was a teenager and has every sexual hangup you can imagine. She used her body to get me to marry her and then basically cut me off. She even admitted that she did not get married to have sex. What was I supposed to do. My choices were not good ones but I stayed in the marriage, paid the bills ,put money away for retirement waited on her hand and foot. She stuck me in a room, verbally abused me when she drank and I walked on eggshells. I am not a bad person and I never abused or treated anybody with disrespect that I saw. Maybe I would have better off having an affair, but that would have meant using my heart. I am glad that I can look in the mirror and know I told the truth. I want win any popularity contest but in the end, I am at peace with myself.
I want to add a couple of things after reading all of the posts. She was drinking before we ever met. She used sex as a weapon. When my Father died in December, she sat at the Funeral luncheon under her breath said please eat. I used to be overweight because I would eat to cope. I lost over 80 pounds and women started to find me attractive. She wanted me Fat and Happy and not worthy of sex or only on her terms. Selfish or taking care of a basic need. She seemed to just be fine with me taking care of all the bills and everything else. When I forced the drinking to stop is when the anger and hate came full force. She didn't need me,when she had the drink and the many one night stands that she had and couldn't remember what she did the night before. Please advise me what should I have done differently.
You could have divorced her. You deserve better than that.
In the U.S. you can buy a gun and will not break the law, but if you spend some happy time with a female sex worker you may be in trouble.
This is very difficult to be understood.
Had an affair with a friend of mine and both of us had a fantasy of pretending she was a prostitute and I would act as a unknown client , as I did, but even knowing in advance were a fantasy she broke up our relationship because she alledged I had treated like as low life whore .
Very interesting article…there are countries were prostitution is used to promote tourism…think at Thailand!
Actually, my wife is terrible in bed. I've tried instruction, porn videos. She simply can't let go. I got tired of having to be the one to initiate and direct the action. Men are not, by nature, monogamous, anyway. Women, dressing in their finery, their revealing cleavage, and their beautifying makeup know full well what gets a man's attention. Don't ignore the simplest, most fundamental, reasons for men seeking prostitutes.
I only masturbate to the idea of using a prostitute's service.
Having a prostitute is not a nice way to arouse your sex drive, this can be very dangerous for you, for som sexually transmitted disease can passed into you. Are you having a female libido problem? There are lots of products in the market but only few of them works you can visit this site to get a feedback about some libido enhancer products http://FemaleLibidoReviews.org
Was this written by a woman?
First to Andrew who posted, “so i think women should think twice before pointing a finger at men who visit prostitutes”
I only point to unfaithful men, because I have always been faithful to all of my boyfriends.
I think this article is hurtful for both gender. To women because it pictures them as victims who will blindly accept their cheating b@stard husbands and boyfriends (singles don't count they can f^ck an aids infected whore for all I care) and to men because it pictures them as all being primitive little beasts who don't have an ounce of intelligence or self control (just walking talking wallets without any true thoughts). I think prostitutes bring something important into our world, and that would be less rape, but the US society in particular has pictured prostitutes in a bad light. In other countries prostitutes are doing a service good for the community, since sex is part of life and without it none of us would've been born.
I think prostitutes get a bad reputation because of the stereotypical cheating husband and boyfriend. What constitutes cheating depends on the person too. For me it's the secrecy. I hate the sneaking around part. The, going behind the door bs. Luckily I have a man who tells me if he is with another woman. If I like her I would want to date or be with her as well.
Plus my bf is the same with me. If I like to see another man and I make sure my bf knows about it so he wouldn't freak out. Again it's the sneaking and the secret bs that I hate so much. For other women,unfortunately, even if she found out or is told about it she gets all mad, which to me is silly but I have my ideals and these other women have theirs.
As for the whole harem bs. That's for people (men aren't alone, don't generalize women as all being prudes for one mate only relationship that in itself is bs too) who can afford it. Poor dead broke people should get that out of their minds. You know how expensive it is to keep a harem? To maintain it? People don't think about these things, particularly men, that's why they fail. Even religions that practice polygamy believe that the man should treat all his wives as equal (there is a country that states a woman should treat all her husbands the same as well). You buy a ring for one wife you have to buy a ring for the others as well. I did considered the thought of having multiple partners (more than just one reason), but with the way the US policies are and the economy it's not possible. Also just consider the by-product of sex all those poor kids. Again people need to think. I guess that's why US policies and the economy is failing people are thinking with their privates and not with their heads any more.
I wish everyone the best and have a great year.
For me, its all about the thrill. I can get laid by regular women, and I am in a serious relationship. But to me, its hard to beat the thrill of opening a door to a strange womens bedroom with the anticaption of what is too come. The thrill of unnkown. Perhaps its also the rush that you could get caught. I dont really know. But i know its all about that complusive rush that leads me to their hotel rooms every few months.
My 14yr marriage ended 6 months ago. We didn't have kids and I'm alone. I tried meeting women online to date, but they don't seem interested in me. I haven't gone on a regular date since my divorce. I started seeing prostitutes and I'm now a regular client of 1 prostitute. The sex is ok, but empty. She shows no emotion or feelings. I'm hurt by this. A prostitute can never take the place of a loving wife. I can't believe that after so many years of being a loyal husband, I'm now reduced to this. Sure, I can stop seeing her, but I hate being alone. For now, she is all I have. I'm starting to realize, seeing her is doing me more harm than good.
Don’t like being alone? Why not get a dog? Take a cooking course. You are kidding yourself. You have other options.
what about lonely people. not everyone is married going to hookers, what about depressed people with nothing else. the world is not black and white!
Yeah, some people have Holden Caulfield syndrome! Are these people also just looking for someone to talk to?
Vinita, you're basing your theory on the fact that the marriage you refer to is fulfilling for the husband, so that it's a perversion to go with prostitutes, and that the other families are “destroyed” by prostitution for the same mechanism.
But can you prove that the opposite is false, that is, that the marriage is actually a failure (romantically and/or sexually speaking) and going with prostitutes is a consequence?
I'm not supporting prostitutes of course, but to me it's more likely, though again each case is different, that a marriage is unsatisfactory and that a man tries to escape from it, rather than a marriage is assumed to be satisfactory and the man tries to escape because is sick.
not true at all, my husband did this and after confessing to me he told me that i had absolutely nothing to do with his choice, that he was always happy with me and never wanted to trade me away for anyone. he simply did i because his ego was out of control, because “he could”
it is absolutely devistating… prostitution is NEVER a victimless crime.
i fond out my husband has been seeing hookers for years and ringing up for one about 30 times a day when i got copy off his moblephone bills also hiding money new notoes 140 pounds at a time also fond crimel records off his past incoulding hes been done with 7 sex attacts and indecent assault i have since moved out as he would not hes a taxie driver i worry about who he picks up at nigtht
All of this for me comes down to selfish human nature of wanting the best of both worlds. Women complain about men and men complain about women.
In my experience, little girls are taught its ok to cry and talk about your feeling, whereas little boys learn very quickly that extreme emotions are female things. They learn from a very young age to push these feelings aside. And generally most men that cheat on their wives with prostitues or anyone else, have had their heart broken by the first girl they loved and vowed never to experience that dispear again. They are too proud.
The biggest thing I don't understand in both men and women, is if your drive and desire for sex is that great and you don't want the nagging wife or responsibilties of love, then why enter a relationship in the first place? The best answer I can come up with, is as humans we all want to feel loved and it's too scary for most people to make that decision to be the life-long player having endless flings, without too much attachment or depth as it means you miss out on having that person to support you and love you and care for you. So as a result, we think we can have the best of both worlds.
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Tonight I went out for a Christmas dinner with my work colleagues. A woman who had been flurting with me for a few weeks left the party with a married man who has an eight year old child. She knew all this. Sure she didn't have to leave with me but she sure didn'thave to leave with a married man. Until society stops treating women as little angels things aren't going to get better. Men are getting a raw deal too, not just women.
Tonight I went out for a Christmas dinner with my work colleagues. A woman who had been flurting with me for a few weeks left the party with a married man who has an eight year old child. She knew all this. Sure she didn't have to leave with me but she sure didn'thave to leave with a married man. Until society stops treating women as little angels things aren't going to get better. Men are getting a raw deal too, not just women.
uve gotta laugh at the sad men feelin miffed coz the whore 'doesnt put much in2 it/doesnt wana talk/etc etc' WAKE UP U MORONS!!!she doesnt cu as a boyfriend/lover/friend/whatever,shes not with u 4 ur scintillatin personality/company,or ur sexual skills(as if!)….shes only interested in ur wallet.ur all non entitys spunkin cash.hope u all infect each other n get what u deserve!!!
PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME FEEL SICK, DON'T PUT UP WITH NAGGING, COMPLAINING AND GENERALLY ANNOYING SITUATIONS THEN. HOW ABOUT GETTING RID OV YOUR WIFE FIRST BEFORE YOU INFECT HER WITH AIDS OR SOME DIRTY DISEASE JUST BECAUSE YOUR NOT MAN ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH NORMAL MARRIED LIFE… WHAT AN ASS YOU ARE HAHA
Just found out my second husband (married 5 years) has been using “escorts” for 2 years..frequency picked up over the last 6 months. He avoided sex w/me and felt he had “performance” issues. He is extremely apologetic, says there is someething wrong w/ him and is in therapy. He said he felt unimportant to me, though I was avery willing sex partner who felt lost and deprived during this itme. He wants to come home and work together. He had many of these woomen into our home and left a trail through the phone bill..What should I do? Oh. I am “young” 52 years old.
simple get rid of him.
Whatever you do, I think you should keep in mind that “I feel unimportant to you” doesn’t mean “Our sex is unsatisfactory.” It probably means exactly what he said: he doesn’t/didn’t feel like he matters to you.
Which is not to say you should overlook the fact that he hurt you.
Patronizing prostitutes is such a complex thing. I was forced to sleep with a prostitute in boarding school in my country (not the US) when I was 12. I was also sexually abused as a teenager by an older boy. Since then I have paid for sex on two separate occasions, one of which was back in my country as a teenager, and one set of three experiences over one weekend while my family was traveling. I almost paid for sex in Brazil – money exchanged hands but I chickened out (this was before my current relationship).
In those recent experiences I had a lot of trouble performing – I hated myself for what I was doing and in two cases I wasn’t able to “seal the deal” at all, letting the girls leave without anything actually happening. I was nervous, drunk, and under the influence of other substances. It seemed so exciting but in the end it was a set of disgusting, terrible, experiences I want to forget ever happened.
These women could never replace my wife and one could argue that I did not need this experience to discover that. They are right. I do, however, believe that I am a loving husband and father and typically do the right things by my family.
Guys do stupid things. We often regret them. We need to do a better job of overcoming our weaknesses. Everyone who has a chance to read the book Nudge should do – it talks about how we often do things that we know we should not be doing (drinking too much, doing drugs, getting happy endings, etc) because of a lack of willpower.
I’m not sure what I am trying to communicate here but I hope it gives some context to folks out there
What do you think of a husbad (second marriage 5 year in) who has been seeing “escorts” expensive ones for 2 years? I am a willing partner. There were few issues in the marriage before this..but I am truly very upet and blindsided..Should this man be given a second chance? Can he ever be trusted if that was his go-te behavior for feeling “low on the totem pole.? Love to hear…
All I can say is the saying goes, “once a lier, always a lier.” Not, “once a lier, people change.”
A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots.
If a man has crossed the line and cheated on his wife, he cannot be trusted. I heard that it takes TWO years for a woman to trust after an infidelity of her husband. One infidelity. One that he regrets. Ask yourself if you and he can wait that long for him to let the wound heal.
I think it would be hilarious if the entire global female population were to disappear, leaving the men to murder and rape each other. It's what they deserve for being such parasites and predators and generally not appreciating women in the slightest. Men, ugly men.
Yeah, we feel really sorry for you and your blue balls there – not! Just cut them off if they're such a problem dude.
Oh, you mean the same Indian men who think it's perfectly alright to murder baby girls? What a screwed up culture you come from. It was quite silly of the British to even have bothered with such a sorry excuse for a culture – I know I wouldn't have. A culture that hates half its population should have died off by now…
There’s no point respecting a culture that engages in extreme human rights abuses. The US may have its flaws, but there is no such thing as the practice of female infanticide here. Nor do women get acid thrown in their faces just because they desire a divorce.
I don’t recall anyone but the US dropping an atomic bomb on two cities. And you must be stupid if you think that you can summarize the “culture” of an entire people. India has a huge population spanning a whole variety of climates, languages and peoples. Are you seriously going to pin infanticide on the entire Indian populace? What would you say if an Indian commenter lambasted American culture by positing the example of White supremacists and their racist agenda? Obviously White supremacists and rednecks aren’t representative of the US but hey, are we gonna let a little thing like common sense stop us from extrapolating a small sample of the population to the entire fucking country?
Fucking stupid people on the Internet.
There is nothing complicated about prostitution whatsoever, you moron. It is a rape that's paid for, that's all. Get a clue, why don't you? Johns are the lowest of the low and the scum of the earth, if not the entire universe. They should be made to eat their own balls.
“It is a rape that’s paid for, that’s all.” Very harsh words in which i disagree. It’s a business transaction that has been excepted between a man and women. It is not by force. It’s one of the oldest professions of the world and many women have become very rich from this. It is also much safer than picking up a women from the club and having sex. Many sex workers are checked monthly with a doctors certificate. I like your name. From witchcraft-Queen of darkness and the underworld right?
Let me tell you my experience. I’m a man who was in a relationship for three years with a girl I loved but it broke up and, three months later and for whatever reason, I found myself in a London brothel. As my surfing of this internet site indicates, it is something that I did that continues to occupy my mind, and somehow I managed to get through a very stressful time professionally while all this was going on. I take full responsibilty for it, I was drunk, happy and with another bloke at the end of a night out, but I accept that it was my decision although I wish it hadn’t happened. Immediately afterwards I felt worthless, remorseful and guilty – like I’d committed a terrible sin against the girl involved (like I’d hurt her emotionally). Initially I dealt with these feelings by resolving to go back to see the girl – not for sex but to talk to her, to try and understand what it is that I’d done. I spoke to her on three occasions, each time she couldn’t really understand why I didn’t want sex, and she was/is a perfectly nice, pleasant girl who deserves (just like everyone else) to be loved and cared for. That’s my view and because I now feel a certain emotionally attachment to her I bloody hope that she does have a happy life – and I know that, despite the part of me that wants it to be me, the circumstances in which we met means it can’t. Now – having said all this – to all those people posting messages on this site with ‘hollier than thou’ attitudes about how any man who visits a prostitute is a worm or ‘are the lowest of the low and the scum of the earth, if not the entire universe(hekate_darkness)’, maybe you will come to the opinion that some men recognise it was a mistake, feel appropriately bad about it and deserve to move on with their lives. Hekate_darkness, despite whatever bad things you feel men have done to you, wouldn’t you feel better if you forgave and moved on too?
Why is anyone even responding to this fetid troll.
You're a total idiot if you really think a prostitute wants to be your 'friend,' or God forbid, girlfriend. Who do you think you are? You're nothing but a lousy john and johns are not human as far as I'm concerned.
Don't be stupid lady. Dump the mofo already, ok? Sheesh. The only thing he needs to apologize for is his existence. Men really have done nothing to deserve the company of women anyway. I think it's a real shame with have to share the planet with such troglodytes.
Like the slime a snail leaves behind, you add nothing of intellectual value. Drop dead you stupid man-hating cow.
please respond to JHF again. I mistakenly erased JHF comments/responses. (Husvban 2 years w/escorts) thanks.
JHF
All the whores I met, 1965-70, worked in brothels. As far as I could tell, they were perfectly acceptable human beings, young, and trying to support children with no help from a husband or their parents. I would bet they mostly found husbands and moved on, as did the johns that they married. Then you had the Women's Movement, AIDs, and Republicans-For-Jesus. Now an average guy can't find a good whorehouse because they are closed down. You've got girls floating in the river and johns beaten and robbed in alleys. It also means that a nice girl who just happens to be down on her luck and whoring to get by for a while can't find a decent john with whom to find a respectable life.
Dear Vinta,
My sypathy. I know what it feels like. What can we do to help others who are in the same position coping with what is left of them. Are you stil sad? Do you stil trust him? I presume you accepted the way he is as well as the fact that he probably would never change. I just think woman in the same position should stand together and talk to each other so that we can help each other out off this spiral of devistation.
Please let me know if you discoverd how to recover fronm this? Thanks…
If you are married, YOU made a commitment. If you can no longer keep that commitment, get a divorce. Why live a lie? You are lying to yourself from sun up to sun down. That must reek havoc on your soul. One thing is for sure–there is a day you are born and there will be a day that you die. How do you think you will feel when that day comes and you are standing in front of your Maker? Our decisions have eternal consequences. I feel sorry for all the pain cheaters cause their tender wives and children. But I feel more sorry for those who cheat–they will pay a price far worse than those who live according to the dictates of their conscience.
I agree with the first part of this, but none of it applies to me personally. Based on what I've written, why would you think it would?
I don't know if you're still looking for an answer but your husband felt it was ok to buy women and use them. Men like that view all women as objects to some degree. If you were a willing sex partner his excuses are false – he's trying to worm his way out of it and put the blame on you (a common tactic). He sounds like a worthless man who can't even take responsibility for his actions. Could you ever really trust him again? Does he deserve you? Would you be happy spending the rest of your life with him? It's up to you to answer those questions yourself but if I were to answer for you I'd say 'no' to all three. Go out and get yourself a new life.
All the best.
Actually it goes way beyond the nagging, i'm single and have been my whole life, i would rather spent an hour with a pro than date a pathetic excuse for a human being that would rather date other people behind your back, cheat on you, lie to you constantly, dump you because your not good enough for family or their friends!
We live in a society where todays “handbags” – my pet nickname for women over the hill, whom have spent a life time rejecting guys up until their in their 40's/50's because we dont meet the standard! I will tell you i am happy not to be married and i sleep well at night knowing i am going to enjoy the remander of my years without ever getting fk'ed over by some beeatch that doesnt deserve my respect , let alone my money or my heart! I mean women just dont get it do they?? They expect to get a ” nice guy” but a they ever happy with him…errrr NO!
Well, I don’t think it’s right if you’re saying this about all women. There are certainly quite a number out there who are not like that. But still, I think you make a good point in overturning this stupid feminist belief that women can do no wrong. Even if you discount the prostitutes who actually sell their bodies for money, you are still left with many “handbags” who use their looks to climb up the social hierarchy, dumping men for as far as their can advance. Not all women are like that but many are, I emphasize. So women, feel free to call us men pigs, but by the same token many of you are no better than the prostitutes and johns you call out.
Thats BS???? Its normal!
Consentual sex insn't rape moron! Get your facts right!
Believe it or not ,some women want to be strippers and others pros! I mean i'd know wouldnt i – i've been with more than you, maybe they want money????? And crappy paying jobs and tight arse business owners pay slave wages! Did you ever stop and think of that..Oh Fu.. i love this forum there is just so much naivety, just typical of people having OPINIONS of people they have NEVER met and situations they no NOTHING about!
this is fucking stupid theres no psychology behind why men like to fuck prostitutes. a guy wants to have sex, and a prostitue is willing to have sex. CASE IN POINT. psychology is such a load of crap.
if you are so “educated” stop talking like this- “u believe u r so kool” learn to talk without short hand like a normal person…
I would like to ask u somethng vinita- have u never been unfaithful to ur husband??
I guess u might have been a l'il at sum point in life… But if u really haven't , then that was exactly ur problm!
I'm sorry to say but that's d way of get going in life today! I might b too young for u to say so but that's how it is
Eat well, sleep well, exercise well, work well, be happy… n these evil powers n negativity will stay away from u. Not just infidelity but everyother ill behavior n thoughts r a cause of disbalance in our routine or mental instability such as stress. Also wen our goals n desires r not met there is a feeling of unsatisfaction wich helps negitivity penetrate. Staying in a healthy surrounding matters too. Always rembr wen a person is in pain he seeks pleasure. So take gud care guyz thts all I cn say.!!
il_enrique7@yahoo.co.in
Very interesting indeed!
bias at all? all of you just shut up!!! you can see a hooker for what ever reason you like and thats the end of it…..nothing wrong with it!!!!
Women are very very insensitive to a mans primal drive to procreate. They start off by taking it all way too personally. A woman's need is to have an emotional connection with a man, after all nurturing is her specialty. She needs a single man to stick around and provide for the offspring she made with him. Men, on the other hand, are in a constant competition with other males for “the best” females their physical attributes and social standing can offer them. Men are “programmed” to desire spreading their genes as far into the gene pool as possible – this very fact makes monogamous relationships PERFECT for women (who want a mate to stick around) and BLATANTLY grueling for a man. He tries to be “good” by societies standards and marry and have children, but the drive to spread his genes – a constant, nagging PHYSICAL and EMOTIONAL urge, never leaves. For some men it is worse than others. I have been with the same partner for 8 years and we have 2 kids and lately I am having INCREDIBLE urges for sleeping with the stereotypical “anonymous sexual partner”. Men desiring sex with strangers is no more about sex than women wanting relationships based on feelings and emotions is based on sex. Both men and women want what their natural urges and tendencies TELL them to want. This is why men and women largely HATE EACH-OTHER because neither sex respects the primal directives of the OTHER SEX. Men think women are all demanding and unreasonable and emotional and women think men are “pigs” that only think of their own physical needs.
Some couples have handled this by having open marriages where BOTH partners can get their needs met outside of the confines of monogamy if such needs happen to arise.
I find that men handle their primal directives with a great deal more maturity than women do. For women, it always leads to the “emotional meltdowns” you see on this forum. Women can't handle the fact that one man does not necessarily WANT to spend the rest of his life toiling for the same woman and children long after the benefits (besides societal approval) have long since disappeared. Women also resent that men are attracted to young females in their physical and sexual prime despite their age, and feel that their choice in partners is more mature and “age appropriate” (most women try to meet men within 5 or so years of their own age, unless their sole intent is to marry for money). But the truth is, women are doing this because they are trying to get the optimal age for emotional connection and bonding. Men are trying to get the optimal age for optimal breeding conditions with highest probability of creating survivable and genetically optimal offspring.
Face it ladies. You hate mother nature. You hate men. You hate how the mating game works. You want the mating game to change to suit your “emotional” (and financial) needs but it won't – so you're all bitter as hell.
Men want anonymous sex partners and are willing to pay money for sex with an anonymous willing consenting adult. Women who are NOT prostitutes, however, go into relationships with men with ALL KINDS of secret agendas. They try and get the “best men” their looks and social status can afford them – much in the same way men select a mate. Often, women will “step up” to a man higher in social standing, appearance, physical fitness or income level without blinking an eye. Her needs for a strong successful man to raise her children with her is a NOBLE AND JUSTIFIABLE CAUSE. Yet, when a man does things to try and satisfy HIS primal directive, he's a dog, a pig and a callous self-centered sex maniac.
Women – grow up already. Modern men are on to your childish cry-baby routine. If you think the mating game is unfair for you women, try being a man sometimes. Try being “traded in” for some a-hole who makes more money, or has a better jawline despite being a total a-hole and cheater. Women leave honest decent guys all the time and get with handsome well-off jerks instead (who can afford to be jerks because they are handsome and well off).
Let's face it folks. Pretty and wealthy and smart and attractive people hold all of the cards in the mating arena. That's why more often than not, the pretty people in the world know they are in demand and probably feel a bit entitled. And they probably don't feel obligated to be AS NICE to other people because, after all, they're in demand.
Both men and women suffer at the hands of the mating game. It's NOT fair for either sex. But it's mother nature's devious little plan to get the genetically most fit females with the genetically most fit males.
That's all it is. And it's not a perfect system, and there are tears, pain, suffering and inequity of BOTH sides – for BOTH sexes.
It's time men and women stopped vilifying and hating each-other because of the games mother nature insists we play. Men not making commitments and staying single and trying to sleep with every woman they find desirable is not the answer. Women trading up men like they are collectible hockey cards is not very nice either, nor is expecting a man to live without sex because now that you have your house and kids and fulfilled YOUR biological cravings, you no longer have a NEED for sex.
The mating game is designed to get the best mating with the best, yet it ironically brings out the worst in both sexes more often than either sex is willing to admit.
Peace Peeps.
E-town Brown
Wow seems to me like you have it all wrong! Its sad to read your comment…I am an attractive sensual, sexy, wanna have kinky sex all the time latin mother of a 3 year old. I was married to my sons father. I can see attractive men and look at them when they are not looking and really appreciate what they have that my husband doesn’t have but that doesn’t mean that I would jeopardize what I have with my husband. Marriage is trust, respect and caring. Why marry if you cant hold to the standards. Most times it is the man that proposes so in all reality it make the woman believe that he is ready for that since he is the one asking. TO ALL MEN OUT HERE PLEASE IF YOU ARE NOT READY DONT ASK FOR MARRIAGE!! What is the point of hurting people…We are humans and attraction to other people will always be there it is up to you to decide whats right and whats wrong. If you are ready to cheat then talk to your partner first about whats really going on and if that partner is not listening ask to go talk to a therapist together and if that doesn’t work then separate but don’t deceive and go behind someones back specially one that cares for you. It’s not right no matter how you turn it. Woman usually want to have sex way more for longer years then men…men that have excuses to go to prostitutes will never know this because they don’t know how to please their women. Prostitutes will tell you, you are the best they ever had and they will scream until you ask them to stop. They do this not because you are doing something right but because you are paying. Why we say that men that go to prostitutes are selfish is because they radar pay to get the satisfaction of feeling like they are studs instead of taking the time and bring out the lioness inside their own wife’s. Lazy, selfish, mean, heartless men go to prostitutes and that is a FACT. I kicked my husband out because I’de radar be alone and healthy then sick with someone. He is losing it right now, every time I see him he looks bananas. I truly feel bad for him because Im sure he thought I would never leave..now someone else (in the future, I am in no hurry and will not make the mistake of filling my void with another ass hole) will rase HIS kid and sleep in my bed wile he is fucking fake ass prostitutes… now you tell me how fulfilling that is? He could have had it all. He made his bed now we all have to lay in that shit…luckily I am a strong believer in positive thinking and my life will go on and things can only get better for me. I just know that by men doing this it just crates all this unnecessary hate and hurt that it can piss any woman off specially if there are children involved ..
You're right about that. Infatuation is a sin.
I find this article over simplistic. I don't believe a second that most men see women as “high maintenance individuals who must be cared for by a man and are otherwise helpless in life” and that this is the reason why they seek paid sex. Totally besides the point.
Both men and women want to cheat sometimes, simply because humans are mostly monogamous, but not quite. About 50% of BOTH men and women do it at least once in their life. When a woman wants to have extra-marital sex, she can easily find a partner who will ask for nothing more than that. For a man, it's much more difficult to find sex “no strings attached”. Then, prostitutes seem to be the solution posing the smallest threat to their relationship. They pay, do their deed, feel like crap and go back home.
since you clearly you despise your profession, i suggest you find another way to pay your bills and leave it to the girls who enjoy their work and their clients
Right, because I know the term 'john' I must be a prostitute. It's bizarre how men who see sex workers think the public-at-large has no clue what they're getting up to. Your dirty secret has been out for a long, long time. And the fact that you think that any sex worker could ever 'enjoy' her work, shows me that you've fallen for the whole act. None of those women are doing it for the kicks. And it doesn't take an 'insider' to know that.
Yes it is absolutely about entitlement Jan. The john is always some soulless zombie who has all the time and money in the world and relishes the unequal relationship of forcing a woman who is down on her luck to have sex.
If you men weren't such misogynistic aholes there would be nothing to nag about. If you didn't sit on the couch all day watching the Simpsons and acting like you are still in high school no one would bother you. Thank God you're never getting married, I would pity any woman who would choose YOU.
“be not put up with ….. with being married”. WHY GET MARRIED IN THE 1st PLACE???
Definitely right. As a man be the best dad for your kids and best husband for your wife.
SOOO true. If men weren't nagged they would just come home from work then proceed to sleep, watch porn and eat themselves to a heart attack at 40. All while we cook, clean, take care of the kids and worry about gaining a pound or getting a wrinkle because you might use that as an excuse to cheat on us. Try being a woman for a day and see what it's like.
I really don’t understand why women and men abuse eachother about marriage as the comments above. If that’s how you see men as fat slobs that just watch porn and eat themselves to death. Then why ever get married? Do you honestly think men like to be nagged. That’s what mothers are for! Ive noticed many husbands and wives stay in a marriage for convenience, religious reasons and are comfortable with eachother, rather than finding the right person who is compatible. Ive known of many women that have cheated on their husbands. It’s not always the man. We are at the tail end of a dying fairytale that we call marriage. To be with one person for the rest of your life,(to me) is unnatural and bizarre. Men have a primal urge to procreate, and not necessary with one women. That’s why i believe prostitutes play a vital role in society.
No need, I would not be able to stand myself, being such an unattractive men-hating cow.
Men don't like prozzies because they're drug-addled, disease-ridden, brainless skanks (which they are — yep, all of 'em, every single one). Men who are saddled with needy, weepy, grouchy, tantrum-y, overemotional, childish women like prozzies… because prozzies are none of those irritating things. They may be clap-riddled junkies, but they're strong, they're independent, and they don't complicate sex with a litany of complaints and favours to be asked. Remember: someone once said “You don't pay prostitutes for the sex. No. You pay them to go away afterwards.”
not being funny but if it wasnt for women like you then the world of marriage and relationships would be a better place….. because of your kind men think its ok to destroy their families, ruin their childrens lives….. you sound so proud of what you do. You shouldnt, you should be ashamed that you yourself abuse your body and worrst of all you let a man do ii. VILE!!!!!!!!
I am sick of all this primal bullshit. We are not cavemen anymore, nor are we animals. We are an intelligent sophisticated species governed by laws and morals. Grow up and stop that evolutionary crap. Try controlling your impulses you weak piece of crap. If you can't handle the responsibilities of being a 'real man' in a relationship piss off and use your hookers.
A man turns to escort service to let go… It's a common myth that he comes to satisfy his sexual desires… Yes, of course, but it's not the only, and may be not the main reason…
He turns to a stranger with whom he can be whoever he wants… Whoever he may be is not (in his own eyes)… He just lets go of a chatter in his head that tell him about all unfulfilled responsibilities and liabilities…
Mr hadenough, I really do think something went wrong in your life, you obviously hate woman and I do think you have a much more serious problem as being discussed here. If I was the same as you I would have hated all men, but luckily I am a bit more realistic than you to know not all men are the same and not all woman are the same. Please explain to me why would a man (or person) go to prostitutes when they have a loving partner who (and this is really true) don't nag, are a wonderful friend to their husband, thinks the sun shine out of his…you know what (and treats him that way) loves their children, are a whore in the bed (and actually really enjoys it!!) looks after him financially (although he is very successful in his own right but doesn't bring in a 1/4 of which she does)….(and believe me I am very sensitive regarding this matter, because I know how important it is for a man to be the provider), a wife who loves excitement and are not the typical routine person, a woman who respects a man, a woman who don't ask anything from man not even emotionally, only to be a team player and her best friend, why does such a man go to prostitutes?
“not even emotionally?” ….. she shd be a superwoman, meaning, NOT HUMAN!! haha
Wow … there’s no way a man with such a woman should ever have to “eat” outside. I’m sure such a woman exists and some lucky man has her. No, make that several such women exist. But do you actually think ALL women are like that? Hey, I’d settle for just a woman who doesn’t act like she’s doing you a fucking favor by agreeing to lie there like a dead fish once a month so lucky me can fuck a corpse.
Fucking idiot women who are so blinded by feminism that they forget themselves are just a loathsome unreasonable bunch.
Granted we are not cavemen, but most certainly are animals. Evolution is not crap, but it can't happen if we deny our animal roots. SOME people are intelligent and sophisticated, others are not. SOME people live by laws and morals, others do not. And some choose to live by only the laws and morals that they find convenient at the time, which gives them a badly needed source adulation and self-righteousness without limiting their choices too much. Also, you're assuming that Etown can't handle the responsibilities of being a 'real man'. You falsely assume that because this guy is aware of his human weaknesses that he also allows them to control him. I think there are two kinds of men in the world – those who have polygamous sexual urges and those that lie about not having them. I also think people who are aware of their weaknesses and openly discuss them probably have a far better chance at rising above than the “grow up, control your urges, hear no evil, and see no evil” crowd, of which you seem to be a card-carrying member.
THAT was just effing awesome. Good luck halting a charging herd though …
e town brown this is the best written article on sex and relationship that I have seen or read in a very very long time. absolute kudos
and really enlightening
and i want to add.. a very fair judgement for both sides and gender
A prostitute serves as a slave to a man’s needs. (unless shes a dominatrix). http://www.sextoy.co.uk. Its an adult shopping comparison site with a funny blog, loads of reviews, hot deals and voucher codes, all designed to save a few bob. Worth a look.
I personally would rather my man see a prostitute, as long as he is using protection – She can do the weird kinks he likes so I don’t have to! It also let’s me know he is not looking for someone to replace me, just meeting certain odd sexual needs he enjoys. He doesn’t have to cheat, I tell him it is ok! I would rather have him honest with me than running around behind my back. 1 hour every few months or so is all it takes to get his kinks worked out. Fine with me!
condoms can break? you wont be so HAPPY then when hes walking around with god knows what and hes past it on to you(and maybe infect your future kids),he wont even feel guilty for infecting you if that happened,cos it will be well ”you told me i could do it”
very strange views!
just me
i wonder if he ever did cheat on you and how you would really feel if he did. its the worst feeling on earth!!!!!!!! especially if u found out on your own and he didnt tell u. and he slept with u after HER. u feel dirty, naive, scared of possible illnesses and have this extreme emptiness inside u…..feeling u did everything possible for your partner of 4 years and this is what u get back? how on earth can u ever trust a man after that? any man!!!!!
If I had an understanding wife like you I’d probably not even want to visit a prostitute in the first place, even if I knew I could get permission. I mean, forget kinky; a calm and rational woman is just plain sexy and desirable! Sorry for gushing but where are all the rational women like this one. Why do we almost always get the half-crazed feminist types barreling through the Internet spewing their men-hating crud?
Men are sad losers, abusing slaggy women to feed their egos and spending their money to do it.
Come on you women start cheating more and why not with your partners more attractive best friends, and it always costs you nothing;-)
Haha sheesh most often just some horny dude witha a little money and low self esteme who gets blown off by women
Who really cares? Unless the women are being forced/raped or living in poverty (in which case just give her some cash and compliments without the sexual stuff or report the situation to the proper authorities -if possible), who really cares?
If you are married and feel hurt because your spouse had sex with another person (paid for or not), is it really hurtful? You have to learn how to love yourself. If you love yourself and show other people in your life how to love, you will get that back in return. Just like modeling for children, it works on adults as well. I’m not suggesting an open marriage, I’m suggesting that marriage takes effort and that finding a person to share your life with is just that–sharing, not completing you or them.
Now for the real topic of men and prostitutes-it’s a for sure thing! But people please realize that the men (or women) looking for the street level prostitutes really might have bigger issues than just infidelity. Not only are the prostitutes objects, but they become objects that no one cares about and that’s not good. We’re talking about super horrible social problems, or insecurities that lead to victimization.
We cannot know a person 100% or put an absolute generalization over a demographic, but we can learn to love ourselves and you may be surprised on what kind of affect that might have on your family and social circle-not to mention your outlook on life.
Peace. Love. Happiness.
It is disgusting that these women vehemently believe this garbage…prostitution exists for one reason…the hooker knows it, the trick knows it…and the pimps SURELY know it…guys love sex…and love it even more if it’s quick and to the point…it’s not that the guy feels like “he can’t please his wife” or that “he feels inadequate as a man”…he could make miracles happen with his wife, but he doesn’t want to have to do that every damn time he wants some good brain…this is a need that has been around forever and that’s why it’s the oldest profession…there is always a need for it, and where there is a need there is a way to make money…pimpin ain’t easy but it sure is fun ;0)…we need to legalize and regulate it…period…the need won’t go away because you whining azz women want to be treated like queen’s all the time…which is fine, but we can only stomach that every so often…men are by nature dominating beasts…so if the wife is one of those nagging dominating type IE American woman…then you have to deal with your man going out and doing what he wants to do just like we deal with your want to be “strong women”…I’m not saying it’s wrong for you to be disgusted by the truth that you cannot satisfy all the needs of your man…but if you think we need women to keep us “in check” then you’re dating and marrying the wrong damn men…men like myself that are self motivated miracle makers would not even give a second thought to ending the date midway through the first meeting because your attitude is complete crap…if you’re too “puffed up” you’re over compensating for a feeling of low self worth yourself…so gfy when your man wants something for himself like a human sex toy…he deserves it after putting up with you ;0)…happy hollidays folks…buy your man a mistress for christmas…
Haha … well said. And to follow up: http://www.realdoll.com/
Satan is real and has blinded the majority of posters here. Prostitution is an evil and destructive reality in all societies. It destroys personal morality for both the john and the prostitute as creates collateral damage for the wifes and children waiting at home for those dads. Set your mind on the things of Christ and He will liberate you from the love of sex, love of money, of power and lies. Next time you are temped either to visit a whore or turn a trick, why not visit a pastor at a local church and have a conversation about the emptieness within you? IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!! God bless everyone who is makes the choice to get out of this evil trap. Beause that is what it is …. a TRAP.
Religion is for “weak minded” people. Christianity, Islam, Judaism are nothing more then modern mythologies no different then the mythologies of the ancient world.
All societies over time have created one form of religion or another for two reasons. First because most people can not accept that when they die, they disappear into the nothingness that they came from. Second, religion was quickly adopted as a tool by governments to control the people.
It might pain you the most to know that I still celebrate Christmas and Easter just because it is a nice family get together. I also celebrate Halloween and the Fourth of July for the same reasons. Someone who declares themselves an Atheist acknowledges god to the extent that they make an effort to deny his existence. I don’t even give that much effort. Your religion is a very nice and cute fictional story that I can very much appreciate as such.
Divorce may happen to a misunderstanding couple.
Essential advices for men who wants to divorce are very essential. You can read those advices on this site, http://www.divorceguide.com
Thank you.
I am a married young man for more than 3 years now. Am in my twenties and so is my wife.
Here is what I have to say;
Naturally Men want to be free and have sex with every woman they feel attracted to. Infact one of the main reasons man Marry women is for SEX. Its the thought of being able to have it every day with this woman that deep inside makes you take the final decision to marry this Woman.
Naturally Women long for security in a relationship. They wanta place where they can belong. This is one of the main reasons women get married to men.
Having said that. I can confirm as a living witness that no marriage is made in heaven. Every marriage is like a plane flying high in the clouds. If the 2 pilots do their job right, commit to moving it safely, Chances are that this plane will land safely and all on board will survive. On the other hand if the 2 pilots fall asleep. The plane will crush. If a fight erupts amongst them, chances are that the plane will crush. its up to the 2 pilots to sit down and resolve their conflicts or els risk falling out of the sky.
To cut the story short. Marriage is like a plane with 2 pilots, husband and wife. Its a decision that 2 people have to make to save their marriage. This means praying to God for wisdon. Marriage is a business, should be treated with seriousness like we do when running a business. We need wisdom on how to succeed at this business called marriage. Both husbands and wives should know what to share and not to share. Forexample, I wouldnt be happy if my wife came from work and told me a certain guy touched butt. It also wouldnt be wise for me to tell my wife every time a girl pulls my hand or one of my customers keeps asking me out. As long as we both dont give in to the flirting of other people, these kinds of things shouldnt be talked abt everyday.
All in all we can all work hard towards a better marriage. Mine is not perfect, but i found out the only way is to try and make it perfect, by doing my best, and by making sure if we ever break up, it wont be because of my fault. like wise for my wife. In that way we will end up staying together for the rest of our lives. AFTER ALL THIS IS WHY WE GOT MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Kind regards to you all.
Godfrey Tebandeke.
i’m sure there are men that just have wandering loins but if a relationship is too much work for a man than simply stay single and use the services of prostitutes. i myself am a very independent non-materialistic woman who loves sex. my sex drive surpasses my boyfriends 10 to 1 and i am far from shy in the bedroom. i don’t bitch, whine or nagg my man for anything and there are basically ‘no limits’ when it comes to sex. we have playtime when we want, where we want, and however we want it. some men are just selfish but i do everything i can to make my man desire every part of me.
It sounds as if the only reason for which men go to prostitutes is becasue their wives don’t meet their desire.
While that is true, another big reason is that many men are just unable to find a woman that they can attract. Many men in fact want a relationship, but they just can’t find one, at least yet.
Since in order to meet my husbands desire it would have required me to get a boob job, make myself 20 years younger and have sex with other men in front of him and join a swinging club and post nude pictures of me on the net and let other couples have sex with me….
I feel slightly upset.
Because I still look pretty and slim after 22 years, 2 kids, giving him loads of attention, love and being everything he said he wanted in bed.
I kept my end of the contract so to speak.
He got fat, bald, alcoholic and nasty and violent – despite that I still endured – then he had an affair with an ugly younger woman, I forgave him…
Then he started asking me to do all these depraved things and when I refused I found Escort numbers in his pocket.
So yes you are right in a way – I don’t meet his desire.
His desire is to be an undesirable.
No thanks. I will leave with my dignity kind of intact and know that I kept
my marriage vows and promises – he changed into someone that I can
no longer love yet alone have sex with.
His future is prostitutes – for to be his ideal woman you’d have to be a deluded,
lying , cheating piece of unattractive scum.
If you can call that a job – that’s a very sad thing to do.
Prostitutes do not help save marriages – they help kill them on the way out.
I pity all who are them and all that use them.
Prostitues use condoms because they don’t trust men.
Wives don’t use condoms because they trust men.
At least prostitutes get one thing right.
Found this article very interesting. The excuse that men have labidos that need satisfying more often is one I would have thought was BS a few years ago. Due to health reasons my testosterone was ridiculously low for many years and seeing that my energy, memory and general well being was suffering i decided along with my dr. to do hormone replacment therapy. (age of 28) Over the next two years I found my urges and general thoughts/feelings on sex to change slowly but pretty dramatically. Having directly witnessed and analyzed my own experience I can honestly say that hormones can play a huge role in behavior and that there may in fact be some truth to the labido theory. To clarify, i do not believe this to be the only factor as to why men seek out prostitutes but it may be a contributing factor for some. That’s my .02 on a very complex topic.
Passing laws that nobody needs or wants… does not do anybody any good.
Spitzer was an idiot because he could have used his position to legalize prostitution as it is legal in many places. Working girls in Brazil, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic do quite well and live happy lives. More happy then most American women.
Making prostitution illegal does not solve any problems… it creates more problems because it has turned into masters of deception and lying. Evey woman they run into is a potential sex toy. Women have no way of knowing who wants to get married and who is only looking for some fun.
If prostitution was legal everywhere, men would not bother “hitting” on women unless they had serious intentions of having a relationship. I have faked many relationships just to have a woman at my beck and call. Wasted many years off their lives. This did not have to be the case if every bar had a few hookers working there and a backroom.
A married man visiting a prostitute is not a threat to his family because he is not going to form a “relationship” with the prostitute.
A married man who does not have access to a prostitute and instead has an affair with a woman in his office IS a big threat to the family because their is a new relationship being formed there that can replace the relationship with his wife.
Prostitutes could actually save many marriages because they would prevent many affairs.
Save a marriage because it prevents an affair?! Get real Bill! So wifey should be grateful he didn’t have an affair but ONLY went to a working girl?
Marriage or a relationship are a commitment, a contract to love and support each other. If sex is so important to a man, or some sort of sex that his wife isn’t into, then he should say that at the beginning, at the point that the commitment is made. The small print should read that he reserves the right to go elsewhere if he doesn’t get what he wants, at the frequency he wants it! She can then decide if that’s reasonable for her to sign up to. Simple. As for the rest of it, relationships are a constant balancing of each partner’s needs, with constant compromise required by both….
Oh by the way, before anyone attacks… I love sex, at least once a day, and would say I am fairly kinky. My partner and I have a 6 month old child, which hasn’t reduced that drive, just put practical limits on it. If my man wants it when I don’t, which is v unusual, he can wait or w#nk
.
However, as for my sex drive, I wasnt like that with my previous partner….why? Cos we just weren’t right….what did we do? Split up. simple.
Actually I forgave my husband once for an office affair but dumped him when I found an Escorts number in his pocket .
Men are wired differently than women. Sex can be a bond fortifying force or it can be a simple physical relief that feels good like yawning, stretching or urinating after holding in a 40 oz big gulp for 2 hours.
Hitting up a consenting adult sex worker could be a better option for some men rather than entering a pretext courtship, lying to women, playing mind games or being deceitful for getting laid.
Don’t see anything wrong as long as both parties are consenting adults who understand the risks and parameters of their behavior.
“Our culture represents women as high maintenance individuals who must be cared for by a man…”
How about telling the truth: actually American woman (Caucasian especially) are high maintenance and give little in return. I think most American men are love and affection starved.
I have an 86 year old female Jewish friend who lived during WWII, and has lived in Spain, England and California. She says unquestionably there IS a problem with unrealistically high female expectations nowadays.
I think it’s mostly women who live in affluent societies and have been “liberated” by all the the feminist babble. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with women being treated as human beings with equal rights and such. But I do think many women have been influenced by radical feminists to take revenge for all the injustice that women have suffered throughout the ages on present-day men. This accounts for selfish behavior like withholding sex from husbands until they have “earned” it. I’m not saying all women do this, but many do have this tactic in their arsenal. And then they get all prissy and self-righteous and come on blogs and forums like this one to lecture men about marital responsibilities. For the women who have done their level best to fulfill their husbands needs to a reasonable level, I salute you for holding up your end of the bargain. But for every such responsible woman there exists another who doesn’t give a shit about what her husband needs. Where’s the outcry over such women? Or do you think selfish women like this don’t exist?
Well, I stumbled upon this article when I was searching for some answers. I’m one of the victims. There are many out there who do not know they are victims. After months of tears, thinking and prayers, I have come to the conclusion that there a very few men out there who can be faithful. I don’t blame the men, though. They are made like that, most give in to temptations. Many know they can get away with it.
And thanks to all your comments, now I have some idea abt why man do it.
And for women like me out there, don’t blame yourselves- u r not the sole reason for his actions.
Very informative and interesting website. Glad I came acrossed it. I recently found out my husband had sex and more with a prostitute. And the only way I found this out, was he gave me several STD’s. And he swears on his Mother’s life he wore a condom. But I found out on several websites, that condoms are not 100 percent safe. There are many STD’s, some I have never heard of you can get from having protected sex. Must be some new parasites and Bacteria spreading like wild fire out there. But it’s one of the worst feelings in the world to me. Like finding our someone very close to you died, UNEXPECTLY, and SUDDENDLY. It’s something you can’t get over. I can’t anyway. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that he did this. He was gone for 2 weeks, then home for 2. And we have sex, great sex when he is home, every kind of way, and then some, on a regular basis. I am slim, active, keep myself in shape, I fix up and get noticed by many men on a daily basis. So I know it’s not the fact that I’m gross to look at or have sex with anymore. We haven’t argued in years and I thought our relationship was going great. I still can’t understand WHY? I feel like I need to go out there and find the sexiest, finest looking YOUNGER, super hot man, that I can, and bring him back to our home and to be having the wildest, wetest, porn sex with him, when my husband walks in the door from his 2 weeks from work. I mean, I know it’s revengeful and mean to think of this. But what he has done to me, to our marriage, the trust is out the door, for sure now. And what divorce would do to our son, who cries every time we drop his daddy off at the airport. So he can fly off to some foreign country for his jobs. (UGGH) I hate it. I should have NEVER married a man who works out of town. NEVER. I knew this, but I did it anyway. STUPID ME. However, if I stay, or I should say, IF, I LET HIM STAY, I will NEVER believe anything he tells me. Hell, I don’t now. I love you so much baby, your so beautiful, I don’t deserve you, I don’t know why I did it. It has NOTHING to do with you, and please don’t leave me, please don’t baby, I’m NOTHING without you in my life. My life will end without you there beside me. And the mere thought of me being with another man (he says), just saying it on the phone to me, he seriously almost threw up. Can you believe that????? I do not know why men have to cheat, period. When, infact they have it made with the women they are married to, we are at home after taking care of all the things we concur daily. I have desires too. But what do I do during those 2 weeks while he is away playing. When I get the time after all the many duties I take care of. I handle my urges at night, but not with another man or male prostitute. I believe, if the wife is being good, then by god, the husband should be too. Doesn’t anyone follow the vows anymore… Thy shall not commit adultry. I mean, what is the world coming to???? If people want to play around with prostitutes with or without a condom, they need to be SINGLE. And stop passing these foreign country prostitution germs, infections, & various STD’s to their wives and jeopardizing their life and the time they may not get to spend with their children. Over some skanky ho dog. And by the way, the man that said prostitutes are checked by a medical doctor and they are clean. That is the biggest crock of crap. They are NOT. Yes, they advertise they do, in Singapore, Maritius, Thailand, Columbia, but they don’t. If they did, the rate of active cases of Aides in this world would be alot lower than it is. And even with a condom you are taking a huge chance with your life and your spouses or your girlfriend, not to mention what it will do to your children, if both parents die. And they are left with no-one to raise them. All because, the selfish, insensitive, unfaithful, husband had to satisfy his few minutes of feeling powerful, with prostitutes. It makes me sick. I don’t know what I’m going do. I have 2 plus weeks to think on it. I really hate this, I didn’t ask for this. And it’s so not fair. Why can’t men just BE GOOD DARN IT???? If women do cheat, it’s because the MAN started it, first.
So sorry your husband felt he had to do this when what he had at home is more than adequate. I feel only contempt for men like this. Condoms are not 100% safe; bodily fluids can still accumulate around the edges and enter the system through breaks in the skin. Again, since you have upheld your end of the marital bargain, your husband is fully to blame for this sorry situation.
Escorts are prositutes – they just call themselves Escorts so that they can get around the law.
I’ve seen websites where Escorts brag about not using condoms for oral sex and how that having sex with them isn’t cheating because iots not an ematinal attachment.
Well – there are plenty of emotions when the wife finds out that her husband has been lying and putting her at risk of an STD.
Even if they use condoms for full sex- how can that be better than unprotected sex with a wife that loves you?
These hookers can call themselves whatever they want, lie about what they do, photoshop their images on line to pretend they are something they are not, charge extra to make men believe they aren’t using a hooker when everyone knows they are….
At the end of the day – they are hookers, they are cheats and they break up families and relationships.
They are only deluding themselves – we all know the truth.
Wives give you unprotected sex because they trust you guys – prositutes use condoms because they don’t !!!!!
When your wives find out they can no longer trust you – don’t delude yourself into thinking it hasn’t harmed their ability to trust other men in the future – it does.
If you are unhappy with your wife sexually get a divorce . Your wife would rather that than sleep with a man that uses prostitues and lies to her.
“Even if they use condoms for full sex- how can that be better than unprotected sex with a wife that loves you?”
If your wife gives you nothing, condomed sex is something. But honestly, any kind of sex with a condom is just plain unsatisfying; a very pale shadow of what could be had with a willing wife. What does a man do when the wife is in perpetual dead-fish mode? Easy for some to say divorce if all counselling and talking does not work but in the end marriage is more than just sex. No rational person throws away a marriage just on the basis of sex alone, so they proceed to patch the hole with a prostitute and with lies, which weakens the marital foundation to be sure. Surely a slow marital death in the making.
Give me a break Sarah. I see your one of these bimbo women direccting most of her judgment and frustration at the women who these men CHOOSE to see…..it feels good to lash out at the other women doesn’t it.LMAO I can see the anger ozzing out of you as you write this,let me brake it down for you like this you judgemental little bitch. Do your reearch!!!! There are shit loads of different kinds of women who do this. How dare you call any other woman a name when she’s 16 years old ,been druged and has been forced to sell her body to 55 year old white collar pigs who piss on her and have rape sessions!! Yes some of these women who are not forced shoudl be making other choices. I agree but stop stereo typing. I work with women who have escaped that. Today I’m taking a 18 year old in for suregery who escaped a man who sadomized her and made her eat his shit daily, She’s 17 years old,he had an eyes on her for the past six months were she couldn’t escape this was her punishment if she didn’t bring in $800 a day,then he chained her to a bed. My point is watch the women you judge! Some of these have had no choice. I’m now suing the shit out of a wife who who was harrassing a 13 year old girl her husband saw and gave coke to . I do NOT encurage women to sell there bodies ever and help them get out. I’m one of those women who don’t judge other women. I understand the betrayal of the wife but you need to know this isn’t black and white. There’s many different kinds of prostitutes.
and i want to add.. a very fair judgement for both sides and gender!!!
I’m an upper middle-class married professional. I like sexual variety but I also like being married with children. Thus, I enjoy and use prostitutes. Think of it as fast-food sex. With prostitutes, the sex is good (they do it MY way), cheap, easy, and drama free. For a very reasonable fee, I get to have my cake and eat it too.
I don’t consider sexual variety to be a good reason for using prostitutes. Really, if you’re getting any vanilla ice cream on a regular basis, there’s no reason to be getting greedy and doing the whole Baskin-Robbins tour! If I had any flavor on a regular basis with the wifey, I’d be happy to “eat” at home all the time. But a guy has to eat somewhere to keep from losing it.
Your wife knows.
I am a victim. Here is my story:
Many women, like myself, actually like men. I also like myself. I like me because I’m a faithful, loving wife, an educated citizen, a wonderful mom of three, in shape, pretty, funny, talkative, and have a high sex drive. I’m not perfect, but I do think I’m a pretty good package for a man. I’m not perfect, and yes, I’ve nagged my husband (not unprovoked mind you). We were very much in love. I didn’t marry for money. I married for him. I do not agree that men and women have different urges/needs. I think they have different DEGREES of them. I want sex and conversation. He does too. I always seemed to have the higher sex drive.
I had just had my third child about 8 weeks when my working-class husband went to some training workshop out of town. He doesn’t ever go out of town without me. It was a 3 day trip. When we spoke at night, I didn’t drill him. I didn’t nag or complain. I trusted him and told him to have fun. He returned from that trip, and kissed me very passionately. Something hit me. A couple of weeks passed, and my gut wouldn’t leave me alone. He spent more money there than I said we could afford. He said that he got drunk with the guys and bought more rounds than he should have. I accused him of going to a strip joint with them and was devastated. He fervently denied it, bhat feeling wouldn’t go away…
I pulled up the transaction numbers from our bank. I traced it to a strip joint. When confronted with this, I was told another half-truth. I said that his yarn-ball of lies had me doubting everything about us, our past, our little growing family. He denied everything else. I told him that I was pulling the cell phone records next. I took his phone, and said I would drive him to work and pick him up. Why would he call 10 different numbers at 3 in the morning back to back? Trying to find a cab was the answer for that. After calling the numbers, searching the net, and finding an escort service, I wanted to DIE. I cannot write how horrible I felt, because I will revisit those feelings that shook my world two years ago. Did I have AIDS? Did my 2 month old baby have it now too from me nursing him? How many times had this happened? What was wrong with me? He was getting it at home, and I loved him…what went wrong? After counseling, and many questions, he still to this day doesn’t have an answer for me. He told me that it was ‘just a drunk mistake,’ that there was no alternate psychology about it, that he was satisfied at home, wanted me and only me. He said it was $100 blowjob with a condom and nothing else. He says he can’t remember most of it, because he was so wasted. He didn’t have the condom, because oh dear…that would mean it would be premeditated. .. which brings me to the reasoning that he invited a health risk up to his hotel prepared to be unprotected and bring it back to me and the baby. When I called these skanks, and I told them my situation about nursing our baby and that I really did need an answer, they replied “no, we don’t usually use those for b-jobs.” He already lied at every step of the disclosure. How could I trust anything. I had him go get a full STD blood panel, used all my store of pumped milk…pumped around the clock until the results came back. I was a new mother of three, working full-time, committed to my baby’s health all the while feeling crushed. My normal soft place to land had done this to me.
I can move on if I really think it was something bad that a good person did, but what if this is a significant character flaw and I’ve been in a different reality from him for the last 12 years?
While reading these comments, I agree with many of the evolutionary hypothesis. I agree men are built that way. I agree the difference in humans is the ability to use high-functioning reasoning to sustain a civilization without wild abandon. What I don’t agree with and what hurts me the worst is the betrayal from my friend, my very best friend who made a promise to me. I guess while reading this, I get very annoyed at the MAN vs WOMAN part of the conversation, because fundamentally I feel the act was genderless and more of the betrayal of a friend. I know everyone thinks they’re in love, but we REALLY were to the core. We made love, we had sex, we shared secrets, we were having our own adventure together until someone entered our story, or rather he let ‘it’ in.
Even now, I do not think prostitution should be illegal, because of my political beliefs. Some of the more glamorous claims about prostitutes may apply to the European circuit, but in the states let’s be honest. For the most part, they are drug-addicted, usually uneducated products of poverty who often have sexual abuse in their pasts. There IS high incidence of STDs and most do not want to be in that situation. I do not like this atmosphere of celebrating them or suggesting they have a necessary function. I’m not sure if the reasoning applies to my husband since he already got it at home, but I do think men are becoming more and more lazy about relationships. Find a casual encounter with a regular person….I don’t like the power trip about controlling the situation and having a woman bow down to men in an act that takes two. ugh.
I’m really becoming obsessed to finding the REASON for his behavior. If he did want out, why would he break my heart first. He says he didn’t want out, he wasn’t unhappy at home…so WHY? Guys, can the reason be that simple? A drunk mistake? There has to be more to it…. We’re not this couple of religious zealots who closet kinkiness. I’m just at a loss.
I decided to try to make it work. He is my best friend, and the father of our children. I don’t bring it up, because I don’t want to stall our progress. However, it still crosses my mind daily. How do I get over this?
(was typing quickly and didn’t proofread-please excuse any typos)
The only way I can tell you to get over it is just say to yourself, like I have, we all are human we are our own person. Humans have faults and we all malfunction at times. sometimes our mates are not perfect but it never means they they dont love you.
Anyone who knew me very well would have certainly pardoned me for considering prostitutes.
My life is so f…d up and uninteresting, I have a personality disorder which has ruined my sociability entirely, rendering it virtually impossible to connect with people both on professional and emotional levels.
I’ve never been able to have a girlfriend, my poor social skills and anxiety corroded my self-esteem.When I venture out
of my house, all I see is a remote world with distant people who apparently lead normal lives.
So I tend to feel deeply depressed at my inability to make friends and get a girlfriend.Life becomes devoid of any meaning without sex and intimacy, so as a man, I sorely miss such things which are natural occurrences in anybody else’s lives, except my own.
In view of that ,my last resort would be to pay for sex.
In my opinion, the science behind this article appears to be lacking. Your conclusions are based on opinion, not fact, leading to a generalization of all men and their motivations behind seeking prostitution, when in actuality there are complex psychologies behind each consenting male and female. A more relevant and insightful article might be this one:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201103/are-all-women-essentially-prostitutes
Thanks for the read, though.
Cody
Sometimes escorts are not going just for the sex and neither are men. Some men pay these girls to do other things like role playing and mental sexual fantasy play. Prostitutes just do not lie on their back. It can be mentally challenging to them. Men can get really emotional and they just want to let it out another way. Spanking is really a big role for men especially men that are white collar workers because they do not want to control everything and everyone everyday. They try to find some kind of release, So no prostitution is not always about the sex. Woman especially like doing this work because they feel admired and needed. They feel special and getting some sensuality from different men is just awesome. Men are not all the same each one of the men that come into each of these ladies lives are all different. Its not just about physical satisfaction.
My husband is the one who was always traveling and I was the one who wanted to make love all the time. He worked 7 days a week so I went to a male Gigolo to get filled.
I begegd for time with him and he gave me none. He did see a female whore and had a girlfriend or two also. I think some men are selfish pigs!
We must learn to forgive Deb as this bitterness will only hurt any chance of recovery for you!
hi, here is a great guide on how to talk to women:
Check Conversation King here
One of the very few Dating Advice eBooks written for men by a woman. Rachel Davis’ Conversation King offers a far more unique approach to this field though. Instead of trying to cram everything in, this book focuses on the often-neglected area of being able to actually talk to girls, even if you are lacking the conversation skill. This is obviously a key area all guys have to be able to handle, and the author does a great job covering what you need to know, as well as some great tips and examples. Conversation King is relatively short, but that is actually a bonus – it cuts out a lot of the junk similar books tend to include. Considering the conversation can make or break you either when picking up or on a date, this guide could be turn out to be priceless.
This article is truly just referring to men that are in relationships already and that are cheating on their significant other. I feel like this article leaves out a whole other aspect of the act. What about men who are not in any type of relationship and would not rape a woman, but just want to have that closeness of being with a woman but can’t for whatever reason? At that point it is a mutual transaction between two consenting adults (aside from girls forced into it). I doubt if there is any real data on it, but I feel that most women that do become prostitutes do so because they have a self interest in making money quickly and easily. It may be socially unacceptable, but if the consent is truly mutual then both parties are getting something in return and so does that make it wrong at that point?
When it comes down to prostitution and the decisions men make nowadays, many of this can be contributed to both parties not understanding each other regarding opposite sexes. from a mans perspective, understanding a women could eliminate bad choices or wrong choices with future mates. Guys, take a little iniatiative and try understanding a womans mind. Its not as hard as you think.
I have not hired prostitutes, although I have been tempted. You see, I’d like to have sex with people who want to have sex with me – not because I pay them to. The problem is I don’t know anybody who wants to have sex with me; on the occassions I go out with the motive of meeting women I leave alone, frustrated and disappointed. I reached a state of desperation where it occurred to me that I would probably spend the rest of my days involuntarily celibate and that the only hope was to pay someone for sexual relations. Let’s just say I’ve been putting it off because I think it would be a point of no return and would ruin any (remote) chances of a relationship based on mutual desire.
Wow, prosititutes and sex push many buttons and stir up anger. People need to be brave and look at tthe very deeper issues within themselevs if others aren’t willing to do that all we can do it our own work and healing. I’m not dismissing anyones pain on here but if you attract men who sleep with prosititutes or other women there’s a reason,do some work in you and stop drawing them into your life on a subconscience level,men heal your women hatred and mommy issues,working ladies we all have a part in everything,heal your lives ,and stop sleeping with men for money.Women are PRICELESS! You’re all better than that!
Women who become prostitutes have low self esteem, and seem to suffer from a lack of self-worth and have very little self-respect. They aren’t doing their sex any favours. And – don’t talk to me about sexual liberation! ‘It’s my choice to do this and it makes me feel so empowered’ Really? Allowing a man to use your body for sex….is empowering? The men who use them don’t respect the girls and they certainly don’t care about them – all they are paying them for is to leave afterwards and then….they’ll get bored of you and move on to the next one…and the next one…and ythe next. These women may think they are acting in accordance with their own free will – but they’re not in fact. They are acting out of deep-rooted insecurities within themselves. ‘The money is good’ or ‘this is all I can do’ are some of the excuses I’ve heard in my time. Maybe expand your mind slightly and think of something else to do that doesn’t degrade us all perhaps. There are better choices out there for women that don’t require them to sell their bodies. It’s strange isn’t it – look at this scenario ‘Man destroys his marriage and family by f*****g prostitutes. A divorced woman then becomes a single mother – cannot afford to make ends meet and turns to…..prostitution. (This actually happened to someone I knew and that’s what she did to feed her children.) She got beaten up and eventually, one of her clients raped her. Wow – sexual liberation in action eh? I think not. Men are the real w****s if you ask me as they are creating the demand for it but to all the women out there who are working in prostituition – you are unfortunately just as guilty as they are because you are allowing this to happen. As always, it takes two to tango but you can change things if you really want to. It’s always easy to take the easy option of course but maybe you should at least TRY not to….. for all our sakes.
men who withhold sex from their willing wives and pay for prositutes are passive aggressive. It`s a way of punishing the wife and gaining control. I think these men are mostly misogynists.