Easter–Menstrual Poetry Style!

March 23, 2008 · Filed Under Humor ·

With Easter all over the internet, I was thinking about my obligatory Easter post–and then a conversation I had with my boyfriend brought this about.

Now please note that I am an atheist. While most people were having dinner with their families, finding Easter baskets and eating hard boiled eggs, I was doing what I do every other day while also fielding instant messages from everyone on my buddy list saying Happy Easter. A song like this is way overdue and I am just delighted with the outcome.

All lyric writing credit and rocker-like dance and stage moves are the boyfriend’s; also, notice the shirt! And people have told me that they pity him for being with a feminist–tsk tsk.

Happy Easter, everyone–Menstrual Poetry style!

Jesus Piñata

Tags: Catholic holidays, Catholicism, Easter, holidays, music

Vote Pro-Choice and Go to Hell

March 3, 2008 · Filed Under Religion ·

Oh, the Catholic church is at it again with their preposterous shenanigans. Catholic bishops, being the men who form the delusions of speaking directly with god and informing others of his word, are going down their list of damnation and letting us all know that the latest memo says that reproductive rights trump everything.

Bishops have not only taken a poll, saying that all politicians who believe in a woman’s right to choose are going to hell, but if you vote for them, you have a seat reserved right next to them.

“It is important to be clear,” the bishops said in a 44-page statement titled “Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship,” “that the political choices faced by citizens not only have an impact on general peace and prosperity but also may affect the individual’s salvation.” Brooklyn Bishop Nicholas DiMarzio, chairman of the committee that drafted the statement, put those high-minded sentiments into plain English earlier this month. Support for a candidate who “espouses policies that are gravely immoral” is possible “only under exceptional circumstances that are hard to imagine,” he told the Cathedral Club of Brooklyn.”

But that isn’t all! Not only do these bishops condemn you to hell if you vote for a politician who upholds women’s rights, but you are also helping us follow in the footsteps of the Nazis:

“In our country we have, for the most part, allowed the party of death and the court system it has produced to eliminate, since 1973, upwards of 40 million of our fellow citizens without allowing them to see the light of day,” wrote Rockford, Ill., Bishop Thomas Doran in 2006. “No doubt, we shall soon outstrip the Nazis in doing human beings to death.” He continued, “We know…that adherents of one political party would place us squarely on the road to suicide as a people.”

Note: “The party of death” sure is clever and ranks up there on my list of “Funny things Catholics say for kicks while in the process of using scare tactics for conversion.”

I cannot even imagine how those who have family who had been tortured and killed during the Holocaust feel about now being compared to those who performed the torture and killing of their ancestors by a group of people who protect pedophiles and actually aided the Nazis. I suppose we have come a long way, however, since the Catholic church is now actually admitting that the Holocaust even happened; but the hypocrisy that spews from the mouths of these people every time they deem something immoral is becoming a bit more than I can handle.

The moral of this story, and the new law that god told the bishops to relay to all of us peons who do not get to speak with him directly, is that now to gain entry into heaven, even if we do everything else so-called “correctly,” if we vote pro-choice, we’re spending eternity in hell. Nice. I wonder what else god has in store for us in the coming years.

“This just in: All people who are interested in spending eternity in heaven with the pedophile priests all must wear clown noses and hop on one foot for an entire year.”

Tags: anti-abortion extremism, anti-choice, Catholicism, clergy sex abuse, Holocaust, pedophiles

Stop Protecting Pedophiles

February 21, 2008 · Filed Under Religion ·

priest I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again–The Roman Catholic church is absolutely fucked. But wait! Before you go sharpening your crucifixes and sending the “You’re going to hell!” emails, I have very valid points to back that statement up!

There have been so many cases of sexual assault crimes committed by priests that have come up in just the last few years that the Fort Worth, Texas Roman Catholic Diocese, as only of a million examples, has 700 pages of “secret files” that were part of a sexual abuse lawsuit settled in 2005. One lawsuit, 700 pages and six priests of the Fort Worth Diocese that had been brought to court on sexual abuse charges–One of which being Rev. Philip A. Magaldi.

Magaldi has made quite a record for himself through the years, serving in parishes for nearly four decades in two states–Providence, Rhode Island during the years 1960-1990 and in the Fort Worth area in Texas from 1990-1992 and 1993-1999.

If you’re like me, you immediately noticed the “hiatus” period in 1992-1993. Well, that is due to Magaldi serving time in prison after embezzling about $200,000 from his Rhode Island parish. Nice, huh? You would think that this would be their first clue that Magaldi probably isn’t the best person to have around. However, the church never does take to clues and hints kindly, as there had also been three separate allegations reported against Magaldi in 1998, 2002 and 2007 for sexual abuse of minors. So, as the church does with any priest caught lying, cheating, embezzling, molesting, raping and the list goes on, they relocated him to another church in another state to be their problem, instead.

While in the Fort Worth parish, another pastor at the church later apologized for not speaking up about Magaldi and the obscene nature of files on his computer involving minors. As of now, Magaldi is 71 years old and living in a retirement center in which the diocese refused to give the name of…of course; and while obviously in the late years of his life, he is probably kicking back, relaxing, thinking that all of this trouble is behind him when suddenly word gets out that this man has not only been sexually abusing minors, but has been HIV positive since at least 2003.

The first thing that went through my head was “Good for him!” since I don’t believe that anyone who is accused of sexual abuse goes the rest of their lives without karma getting to them–and karma is a bitch. However, this man had sexually abused at least five different minors during his four decades serving as a priest and not only do those children have to live with being sexually abused, but they may have also contracted a terminal illness, since HIV causes AIDS.

The church needs to stop protecting, condoning and relocating pedophiles. There are hundreds of these cases that have come to light and many others that have not, since not all people who have been sexually abused ever come forward with their experiences and in those cases, this cannot be the first one in which the scumbag priest has HIV; this is just the one that made the news.

Tags: AIDS, Catholicism, child sexual abuse, clergy sex abuse, HIV, pedophiles, Philip Magaldi