Mother’s Day and the Release of No Trespassing

May 11, 2008 · Filed Under Art & Creativity, Life ·

Today is Mother’s Day and no matter how hard I try to forget about this day, it still manages to come, mock me and leave for another year.

This day is by far a great day for most people–Mothers for one. It is also a great day for people to show their mothers how much they love and appreciate everything that they have done them. However, sometimes you get that special case where one day out of the year just doesn’t mean the same to someone as it does to others; and Mother’s Day is that day for me.

I have not seen my mother in almost a decade. No, she isn’t dead, but she may as well be. My mother was not like most out there. My mother was a child abuser. She was a child sex trafficker and a child molester. She was (and still is) a drug addict and an alcoholic. I stayed silent about so much that happened during my childhood for so many years and it was last year where I pretty much just deteriorated. My layers of walls that I had spent years of my life perfecting melted away and I started to talk about what I had gone through and that was the best time of my life. I had stayed silent for so long because I was afraid of what people would say, how they would see me and most of all, I was afraid of what the rest of my family would think about me. While I was still in my mother’s custody I had told her that I would tell on her some day and she said that no one would believe me and I believed her.

I still don’t know what the rest of my family thinks. I was never really given the opportunity to speak to them about all of this; whenever the subject of my mother has come up my grandmother would be the first one to say that she didn’t want to hear about anything because it made her upset to even think about what happened. My father, while I love him immensely, has never been one to show or voice his emotions and so the verdict is still out on that one. My aunt had talked to me very briefly about it, after reading an interview I had done with my local newspaper about being a survivor of child sexual abuse. Not being given the opportunity to actually speak to my family about my childhood, I decided to publish it in a newspaper and send it to the doorsteps of 70,000 people living in my area.

While I have undoubtedly progressed in this whole healing process (not to mention being raped when I was 18 at the one and only college party I had ever attended and starting the whole “healing process” over again,) I have quite a ways to go and with that, to further symbolize this day for me, my short film No Trespassing was released today. Both parts are below:

Tags: child abuse, child exploitation, child sexual abuse, Dany Nieves, films, holidays, incest, Mother's Day, No Trespassing, rape, sexual assault

Reclaim Your Voice While Helping Others

April 13, 2008 · Filed Under Activism ·

teddy I recently came across the Teddy Tour, which is run by Megan from Imaginif and Leigh from All for Women; both are truly excellent sites.

Teddy Tour is about giving survivors of childhood sexual abuse a voice through a really unique concept–plush teddy bears. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female or what age you are now; if you were sexually abused as a child, you are able to take part in the tour.

The process is simple–You fill out a teddy tag (don’t worry, it’s completely anonymous and your name will not appear on your tag) either by filling out the form to send one instantly or you can download and print out this tag and send it out in the mail. You can also make your own tag or decorate the mail-in tag to personalize it a bit more.

After your tag is received, it will be put on a plush teddy bear, a picture of it will be taken for the website and it will then be sold at Imaginif where all proceeds go straight to a survivor of child abuse.

This is an excellent project, I love it. I filled out a teddy tag for myself and hope that all survivors of childhood sexual abuse will do so as well, it’s an excellent cause and not only are you reclaiming your voice and rising above your abuse, you are also helping other survivors in the process. What could be better than that?

Tags: child exploitation, child sexual abuse, incest, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Teddy Tour

5th Annual Race to Stop the Silence

April 11, 2008 · Filed Under Activism ·

I thought I was too late with this, but luckily, I’m not!

stop the silence race This Sunday, April 13, is the 5th Annual Race to Stop the Silence, presented by the Ms. Foundation for Women and The Washington Post, in an effort to raise awareness and stop the silence surrounding child sexual abuse. It will take place at 8:30am in Anacostia Park in Washington DC.

If you are around the Washington DC area, I cannot urge you enough to go and be part of this amazing activist effort. Child sexual abuse is a silent epidemic and it is only growing more rapidly out of control. If you wish to take part in the 10k race and the 5K pledge walk you can register either today, tomorrow or Sunday before the race at a tent near the skating rink at Anacostia Park, which will open at 6:30am. Download the registration form here and bring it to the balcony of the Old Post Office Pavilion at 1100 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W., Washington, D.C. Also, you can download the agenda of activities here. (PDF)

This is definitely a great cause; for those of you who are already signed up and ready to go, good luck; and for the rest of you, go download the registration form!

Tags: child exploitation, child sexual abuse, Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Innocent Images Takes Down Major Child Porn Ring

March 23, 2008 · Filed Under Crime ·

This is a few weeks old, but definitely still noteworthy. Hooray for the FBI having an entire program dedicated to catching child pornography and exploitation and an even bigger hooray for arrests and these sites being shut down!

Innocent Images, a program run by the FBI to combat online child pornography and child exploitation has recently busted a major child porn ring.

With messages that read “Mala is to die for in those pigtails.”, “I have a few 5yo [year old] Taras that you do not have.” and “Just dropping in for a hot minute … to help out the dry spell, and to give everyone something to do for an afternoon.” this ring doesn’t seem too different than the others circulating the internet, however, this ring had many features that Innocent Images had not come across before.

This ring was one of the largest and most sophisticated rings that the FBI has ever come across, using maximum security methods to make them increasingly hard to catch. The ring worked more like a business, with several different people spanning over different countries performing specific jobs within the community. The ring had traded, trafficked and posted over 400,000 images and videos and incorporated several operation security measures.

Since discovered, over 20 victims of child exploitation have been rescued and 22 men have been arrested in the United States, Germany, Australia and the U.K. while more rescues and arrests are being pursued.

Tags: child exploitation, child pornography, FBI, Innocent Images, pedophiles

George Bush Thinks Poverty, Death and Abuse are Blessings of Freedom

March 4, 2008 · Filed Under Violence Against Women ·

Afghani child bride Many people in the United States believe that the war we are currently fighting is for just cause. Many people are also under the false assumption that because of this war, we have given the people of Iraq and Afghanistan the freedom of democracy; that we have bettered their lives. The reason that so many people in the United States believe this is because the citizens of this country are being told that we have a reason to be at war and that we are bettering the lives of millions–And every word that comes from the mouth of our president is a lie.

Of course there are also many people who know all of this and are aware that our troops are dying in vain for nothing more than a pissing contest.

When falling into the topic of the current war when speaking with people, because it does happen quite a bit especially when I am asked “So what do you do?” and I can’t help but mention this website and what it’s about, the first thing that people grab onto it “Oh well we have helped so many people over there and you just don’t understand. They needed help over there and we are helping them redefine their government and they have a democracy now!” But these are the same people who believe each and every word our president says, which should be good enough. We should be able to believe what our commander in chief is telling us and believe that they are doing what is in our best interests as well as in the best interests of other countries that we invade. However, that is simply not the case, especially when George Bush has done nothing but lie to us, especially about how the women in Afghanistan are now living their lives.

George Bush and his administration have made Afghanistan one of the most dangerous places in the world to be female.

On March 12, 2004, during the White House Celebration of International Women’s Day, George Bush said:

“In the last two-and-a-half years, we have seen remarkable and hopeful development in world history. Just think about it: More than 50 million men, women and children have been liberated from two of the most brutal tyrannies on earth—50 million people are free. All these people are now learning the blessings of freedom.”

Now, I have no idea what his term “blessings of freedom” means, but how Afghani women and children are now being forced to live is about the furthest thing from freedom that I can imagine.

The picture in this post is perhaps the most heartbreaking pictures I have seen in quite some time. It is a picture taken by US photographer, Stephanie Sinclair and has won the UNICEF prize. It is of a 40 year old man with his new, 11 year old Afghani wife. This picture captures what young girls in Afghanistan are being put through.

Women in Afghanistan are now able to participate in these “blessings of freedom”:

Grinding poverty and the escalating war is driving an increasing number of Afghan families to sell their daughters into forced marriages.
Girls as young as six are being married into a life of slavery and rape, often by multiple members of their new relatives. Banned from seeing their own parents or siblings, they are also prohibited from going to school. With little recognition of the illegality of the situation or any effective recourse, many of the victims are driven to self-immolation – burning themselves to death – or severe self-harm.
Violent attacks against females, usually domestic, are at epidemic proportions with 87 percent of females complaining of such abuse – half of it sexual. More than 60 percent of marriages are forced.
Despite a new law banning the practice, 57 percent of brides are under the age of 16. The illiteracy rate among women is 88 percent with just 5 percent of girls attending secondary school.
Maternal mortality rates – one in nine women die in childbirth – are the highest in the world alongside Sierra Leone. And 30 years of conflict have left more than one million widows with no enforceable rights, left to beg on the streets alongside an increasing number of orphans.

What George Bush has said in the past years regarding the quality of life of the people we have “helped” has been a lie and what he will say in the coming year as well as after his presidency regarding the war will also be a lie. We have not helped these people, we have not given them freedom or democracy; what we have given them, however, is fear for their lives and fear for their children’s lives. Not to mention, while making these places the worst that they have ever been, we have been outright lied to several times by our president and that is something that more people need to acknowledge and refuse to stand for. The people of America who truly believe that we are fighting this war for a reason are sadly mistaken and the troops that we have lost in the past six years fighting a bullshit war has been for nothing and those lives have been lost in vain.

Thanks, president Bush.

Tags: Afghanistan, burning, child exploitation, forced marriage, International Women's Day, Iraq war, maternal mortality, president Bush, rape, self-immolation, self-mutilation, slavery