Mother’s Day and the Release of No Trespassing

May 11, 2008 · Filed Under Art & Creativity, Life ·

Today is Mother’s Day and no matter how hard I try to forget about this day, it still manages to come, mock me and leave for another year.

This day is by far a great day for most people–Mothers for one. It is also a great day for people to show their mothers how much they love and appreciate everything that they have done them. However, sometimes you get that special case where one day out of the year just doesn’t mean the same to someone as it does to others; and Mother’s Day is that day for me.

I have not seen my mother in almost a decade. No, she isn’t dead, but she may as well be. My mother was not like most out there. My mother was a child abuser. She was a child sex trafficker and a child molester. She was (and still is) a drug addict and an alcoholic. I stayed silent about so much that happened during my childhood for so many years and it was last year where I pretty much just deteriorated. My layers of walls that I had spent years of my life perfecting melted away and I started to talk about what I had gone through and that was the best time of my life. I had stayed silent for so long because I was afraid of what people would say, how they would see me and most of all, I was afraid of what the rest of my family would think about me. While I was still in my mother’s custody I had told her that I would tell on her some day and she said that no one would believe me and I believed her.

I still don’t know what the rest of my family thinks. I was never really given the opportunity to speak to them about all of this; whenever the subject of my mother has come up my grandmother would be the first one to say that she didn’t want to hear about anything because it made her upset to even think about what happened. My father, while I love him immensely, has never been one to show or voice his emotions and so the verdict is still out on that one. My aunt had talked to me very briefly about it, after reading an interview I had done with my local newspaper about being a survivor of child sexual abuse. Not being given the opportunity to actually speak to my family about my childhood, I decided to publish it in a newspaper and send it to the doorsteps of 70,000 people living in my area.

While I have undoubtedly progressed in this whole healing process (not to mention being raped when I was 18 at the one and only college party I had ever attended and starting the whole “healing process” over again,) I have quite a ways to go and with that, to further symbolize this day for me, my short film No Trespassing was released today. Both parts are below:

Tags: child abuse, child exploitation, child sexual abuse, Dany Nieves, films, holidays, incest, Mother's Day, No Trespassing, rape, sexual assault

WrongCards Aren’t Only Wrong, They’re Disgusting

May 7, 2008 · Filed Under Violence Against Women ·

I came across this site a few days ago and while the website name alone should have tipped me off to the type of content I would find there, I was pretty disturbed by a few of the images that I saw.

With a name like WrongCards, sure, you can suspect that the content is going to be pretty far from politically correct, but what I found completely crossed the line from wrong to sick and disgusting.

Apparently we can add date rape to the list of things people find funny right alongside of sex criminals and being kicked in the stomach while pregnant.

However, WrongCards doesn’t stop there; they also have another card that reads “I’m still waiting to be sexually harassed.“

Tags: date rape, harassment, misogyny, rape, sexual assault

Report It on Angela Shelton Day

April 29, 2008 · Filed Under Violence Against Women ·

Happy Angela Shelton Day!

Today is the day where the Report It campaign, a campaign motivating survivors of sexual assault to report their cases via an online form at the Report It website, comes to a close with the biggest rally of unified sexual assault survivors taking place at various courthouses across the country! Today, on Angela Shelton Day, survivors are being asked to go to your local courthouses and say that the silence of sexual assault survivors has went on for far too long.

Sexual assault is the most underreported crime in the world and it is also the least talked about. By being a survivor and living through your abuse and talking about your abuse, you are breaking the silence surrounding this pandemic. One person can change the world, so if you are able, please go to your local court house and speak up for the rights of survivors everywhere.

Here is the statement that is being read at rallies across the country:

“Sexual assault is the most underreported crime in the world. All too often victims do not report the crime to authorities for fear of not being believed, mistrust of the legal system, because they blame themselves for the crime or fear of retaliation. It’s time to address why this happens to sexual violence victims, while victims of other crimes, like robbery, don’t hesitate to seek justice. Victims of sexual violence deserve the equal protection of our laws. They deserve to be heard and validated. The Report IT Campaign is a first of its kind effort on behalf of all victims — an initiative designed to give hope to all victims that we can end the silence surrounding sexual violence. Our loud, unified voice today will be the first step in a multi-year effort to inspire much needed reforms and better access to justice for all victims.”

But this isn’t the end of the collaborative rally from Angela Shelton and PAVE. In fact, PAVE will be collecting reports from survivors for the next year, in 2009 this rally will run again just as it did this year but hopefully with even more people and in 2010, PAVE is taking this rally straight to Washington DC.

If you haven’t already, report your case today on Angela Shelton Day by filling out the online form. I filled mine out this morning and now it’s your turn!

If you need someone to talk to remember that you can always call RAINN. It’s safe and confidential. 1.800.656.HOPE or check out the online hotline.

Tags: Angela Shelton, PAVE, RAINN, rape, re-victimizing rape victims, Report It, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, victim's rights

Help Us Help You Help Others

April 26, 2008 · Filed Under Violence Against Women ·

Skirt Sports SkirtSports, a retailer for sport apparel for women and children, has recently put together a campaign that will help their customers give back to the organizations and charities that mean the most to them.

Help Us Help You Help Others is a campaign unlike most others I have seen. Not only can you donate to a charity and help that charity help others in need, but you, as a SkirtSports customer, can choose the charity that Help Us Help You Help Others donates to.

Over a period of a month, SkirtSports asks people to nominate their favorite charity and the charity that receives the most submitted nominations will receive a $500 donation from the SkirtSports Help Us Help You Help Others campaign plus whatever amount is received through your donations, which range from donations of $5 to $100.

For the month of April and in honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Help Us Help You Help Others will be donating to SOAR (Speaking Out Against Rape) SOAR is an amazing non-profit organization which runs national awareness, education and prevention programs to help survivors of sexual abuse reclaim their voice, confidence and lives. You can learn more about SOAR at their website here.

In order to donate to SOAR through Help Us Help You Help Others, go here and select the amount you would like to donate. 100% of your donations go straight to SOAR; there is no tax or fees of any kind and it gets donated directly. As an added bonus, SOAR has a special promotion through SkirtSports where if you buy from their website you receive 10% off on all online purchases by using the promo code SOAR–and while you’re at it, don’t forget to make a donation to SOAR.

Tags: apparel, charity, Help Us Help You Help Others, rape, sexual assault, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, SkirtSports

Sex Criminal Fashions

April 13, 2008 · Filed Under Society ·

I hate the mentality that rape is a funny word. Rape is not a funny word, action or mindset and it should most definitely not be used in a comedy bit; the same goes for the word pedophile. These words have absolutely no place in comedy, yet lately it seems to be popping up everywhere and the people who are seeing these words being used in comedy are going right along with it, which infuriates me.

This particular video, entitled ‘Pedophile Beards,’ by Jon Lajoie is actually a followup video for a previous one entitled ‘Rapist Glasses.’ With over 214,000 views, 1,249 text comments and 11 video responses, the majority of Jon’s viewers are laughing right along with him, saying that it is the funniest thing that they have seen in a while and that they know many people who fit into the stereotypes that he is pointing out–those being not only rapists and pedophiles, but he has also added public masturbators and serial killers to the mix. And the point to the video? Using well known visual stereotypes in a “comedic,” and I use that word very lightly, video about sex criminal fashions.

Sure, while it is “meant to be funny,” Tshirts with the words ’serial rapist’ on them, such as the shirt (and those like them) posted over at SAFER were also just “meant as a joke” and are now in the process of being removed from Cafepress.

I, for one, am not laughing.