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Nov
10
13 Year Old Rape Victim Stoned to Death in Somalia
A thirteen year old girl, identified by Amnesty International as Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow was raped by three men while she, on foot, was on her way to visit her grandmother in the war-torn capital of Mogadishu. When she and her parents sought help and justice from the authorities, Duhulow was victimized yet again.
The first reports of this story claimed that Duhulow was not a young girl, but a 23 year old young woman who had confessed to adultery and thus, under Shariah, the legal code of Islam based on the Koran, was sentenced to death by stoning where the young girl was forced into a hole, buried up to her neck and pelted with stones by 50 men in front of a crowd of about 1,000 on-lookers.
This story most certainly does not add up; a child was raped and instead of administering justice, the government made up a warped and untrue story and aged the girl ten years to get away with their conviction because convicting a 13 year old girl for adultery is illegal under Islamic law, while the three men who raped this girl have yet to be arrested.
A human rights activist in the town told BBC that he had received death threats from the Islamic militia for spreading the truth about this incident, accusing him of spreading false information.
Listen to Kate Allen, director of Amnesty International, discuss the stoning and the story behind this young girl here.
Oct
22
Where I’ve Been Lately
As some may have noticed, I went an entire week without posting on Menstrual Poetry because I was busy…Very, very busy.
This past weekend was the Healing Through Creativity art festival, an annual art festival for trauma survivors and supporters. I’ve been mentioning this festival periodically since August, when I found out that a short film I wrote, No Trespassing, would be showing at the festival. If you are also a reader of my other site, Healing Yourself Heals the World, you would know that my weekend that was supposed to be spent celebrating healing at the festival didn’t exactly go as planned.
The art festival turned into the art festival that wasn’t, since West Virginia is the capital of insane drivers and even more insane roads with its death-gripping twists and turns. West Virginia University probably takes up all of West Virginia for all I know, since no one who goes to that university knew what the art festival was or the building it was being held in, after about 2 hours of driving and missing the showing of my short film, me and the boyfriend went back to the hotel we booked for the weekend and had ourselves a much-needed, relaxing vacation in a city we otherwise would have never been caught dead in. While this trip was made in order to continue the healing process from abuse and trauma, I did put myself “out there” a bit and for the first time in 8 years, I went swimming in the pool at the hotel; not only that, but I swam while there were other people in the pool. One thing that had completely slipped my mind in the past 8 years is that I thoroughly enjoy swimming, which of course I would find out just in time for winter. Nevertheless, my weekend of healing was effective after all, art festival or not.
This, of course, is only the (very) abbreviated version of this story. For the entire story (along with a more witty analysis and description) head on over to my healing site, Healing Yourself Heals the World.
Oct
11
Rally of the Buzzwords
From here on in, expect any smear campaign that McCain launches towards Obama to be taken at face value, but instead of those of us who are sane, practical and logical, we know to do our homework on any candidate, no matter who they are, and make an informed decision based on what that candidate can do for this country and for us. However, like many of us are all too aware of, there are some people out there who instead of doing their research on a candidate or thinking for more than 1.3 seconds about the legitimacy of what kind of bullshit “their” candidate is putting out into the media, there are way too many people who will soak up McCain’s bogus ads, go to see him speak and then throw nothing but buzzwords out, believing wholeheartedly that the bullshit their brains soaked up like a sponge from the oh so “reliable” sources like Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Fox News and John McCain and Sarah Palin themselves are completely right, not giving any of these accusations a second thought and accepting them as truth.
So for those who believe that the video in the last post was a fluke or that “not all” McCain supporters think or act like those who made asses of themselves in that video, here is another from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I am ashamed to share a state with these people.
A big thanks goes out to all of the aforementioned sane, practical and logical folks who were also at that rally trying to spread the truth about McCain/Palin such as the fact that Palin made women in Alaska pay for their own rape kits. The replies of their supporters? Well, they believe that a woman who is raped should pay for their own rape kit and not only that, but they should pay double, die, or be killed.
Nice, huh?
This election is ugly, yes, but a woman is never at fault for being raped and the people who believe that a woman is at fault are the same people who believe that she was asking for it, deserved it, should be killed because of it or they are the people who believe rape doesn’t exist, don’t teach their children about sexual assault at a young age, or maybe they are also the people who are abusers themselves.
While it is obvious that the McCain camp is “turning a page” and doing very little but launching attacks on Obama, what the fuck ever happened to humanity? As a feminist, activist, and advocate for rape and sexual assault, myself and many other people out there are speaking out about abuse and trauma and if you ever thought “Hey, this is about human decency, who doesn’t care about something that should come naturally to being a human?” These are obviously the people we are up against.
If there is one issue that is screaming at the top of its lungs that we need to reform, it’s education. There are so many people in this country who need to be educated and you just saw a video of several.
Sep
29
Hounddog
I just finished watching the movie Hounddog; I received it over a week ago but because I’ve been working a lot lately, it took me a little while to get the time (and emotional energy) to sit down and watch it. On that note, waiting over a week to watch it was a big mistake because this movie is phenomenal.
Hounddog is about healing–From having to grow up way too early, from sexual assault and from betrayal; it shows life in its sometimes unpleasant and ugly, but also inspiring glory. Dakota Fanning plays a young girl in the American south who lives in a world where so much is expected from her and so much tries to destroy her; from a family who feels as if she is to grow up and even as a young child, expects her to be a woman of the house, to a sexual assault. Hounddog shows you the aftermath of sexual assault, how one can become so sick because of it, but it also shows you hope and a girl who is determined to save herself with the help of a friend.
Hounddog has had a very bumpy road thus far, from Sundance where it was criticized and deemed the ‘Dakota Fanning Rape Movie’ to online reviews that I read after watching it that tear it apart. As a survivor, I loved Hounddog and the only criticism I do have is that I wish it were longer and had a more solidified ending. I loved the hope that it gives to people watching it and most of all, a particular monologue in the movie was so powerful that one moment I was laying on my couch, taking the movie in and the next was sobbing because the words that were spoken were so dead on and were so profound that it really made the entire movie. Those words were exactly what I and what so many other survivors needed to hear and it is because of everything that is said in that one, short monologue that really sums up why no survivor can let their abuser destroy or take their spirit from them.
Every survivor of sexual assault should see this movie. It will stay with you and it will give you that gentle push that so many of us often need to speak up and break the silence surrounding sexual assault. Hounddog is a movie that exudes hope and infuses survivors with a resonating voice that says ‘I understand, it isn’t your fault, now take back what is yours.’
Cross-posted to Healing Yourself Heals the World
Sep
27
Fear No Fashion: Help Prevent Sexual Violence
PAVE (Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment) and Lather Chicago have teamed up to put together a night of fashion and fun. They are hosting a charity fashion show in an effort to raise awareness and prevent sexual violence in schools, enhance the empowerment program of PAVE and also to create a national network of affiliates all working towards preventing sexual violence.
The fashion show will take place tomorrow, September 28, in Chicago at the Cubby Bear Lounge located at 1059 W Addison St from 4pm to 8pm.
If you are in the Chicago area tomorrow and are over 21 years of age, please consider going out to support organizations dedicated to prevention and education of sexual violence. There will be complimentary drinks from 4-5pm, a fashion show featuring Evolve Intimates, Borris Powell and Christopher Anthony. In addition to the fashion shows, there will also be burlesque acts and a silent auction.
Tickets are $20 each and can be purchased here.
Sep
15
Healing Yourself Heals the World
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had a new project in the works. Well the time has finally come–It has finally launched!
Healing Yourself Heals the World is my personal healing journey from abuse and trauma. As I have mentioned several times throughout this site, I am a survivor of child abuse, (physical and emotional) childhood sexual assault and rape. I decided to make an entire website dedicated to the healing process because sexual assault is a global pandemic and because of that, it is crucial for survivors of sexual assault to break the silence of abuse. When one survivor breaks their silence, they encourage and inspire others to do so and with that, we are collectively healing the world.
While the healing process can undoubtedly be rewarding, motivating and inspiring, it is not always pretty and I plan on showing that a bit on the website; healing comes over time and the journey towards it can sometimes be ugly–And that is the truth of it. Healing Yourself Heals the World will not only act as my personal release, but I do hope that it inspires and motivates other survivors in their own healing journey.
So here it is–Healing Yourself Heals the World. Check it out!
Sep
15
Obama’s Record on Protection Against Sexual Assault
The McCain campaign recently put out a disgraceful and dishonest ad against Obama when it comes to protecting children from sexual assault. The campaign ad claims Obama’s “one accomplishment” in the area of education was “legislation to teach ‘comprehensive sex education’ to kindergarteners.”
Announcer: Education Week says Obama “hasn’t made a significant mark on education.” That he’s “elusive” on accountability. “A staunch defender of the existing public school monopoly.” Obama’s one accomplishment? Legislation to teach “comprehensive sex education” to kindergarteners. Learning about sex before learning to read? Barack Obama. Wrong on education. Wrong for your family.
John McCain: I’m John McCain and I approved this message.
While the bill Obama supports does include the term “comprehensive sex education,” that is about all the McCain campaign got right. What this ad did was pick a quote to use against Obama to scare the voting population into thinking Obama supports five year olds being taught about sex, which is completely wrong.
The bill in question called for all sex education course materials to include information that would help students recognize, among other activities, inappropriate touching, sexual assault and rape:
Course material and instruction shall discuss and provide
for the development of positive communication skills to maintain healthy relationships and avoid unwanted sexual activity. … Course material and instruction shall teach pupils … how to say no to unwanted sexual advances … and shall include information about verbal, physical, and visual sexual harassment, including without limitation nonconsensual sexual advances, nonconsensual physical sexual contact, and rape by an acquaintance. The course material and instruction shall contain methods of preventing sexual assault by an acquaintance, including exercising good judgment and avoiding behavior that impairs one’s judgment.
This bill passed in the Health and Human Services Committee with Democrats; however, the measure died while in the Senate and since 2005, no action has been taken on it. The reason I believe that this happened is because people, such as McCain, understand the bill as “teaching sex education to five year olds” and not teaching five year olds the difference between someone showing them affection and mistaking that affection as love when that acquaintance (or family member) is sexually abusing that child. As it stands now, it is up to the parents to educate their children about inappropriate touching and behavior and what is dramatically wrong with that is that the parents (or parent) themselves could be the very people abusing that child. Children need to be taught the difference between affection and abuse and right now, there is no other way for children to learn the difference other than from their parents.
In a debate with Republican Alan Keyes for an open seat in the U.S. Senate in 2004 Obama clarified the reasoning behind this bill and why it was important:
Keyes, Oct. 21, 2004: Well, I had noticed that, in your voting, you had voted, at one point, that sex education should begin in kindergarten, and you justified it by saying that it would be “age-appropriate” sex education. [It] made me wonder just exactly what you think is “age-appropriate.”
Obama: We have a existing law that mandates sex education in the schools. We want to make sure that it’s medically accurate and age-appropriate. Now, I’ll give you an example, because I have a six-year-old daughter and a three-year-old daughter, and one of the things my wife and I talked to our daughter about is the possibility of somebody touching them inappropriately, and what that might mean. And that was included specifically in the law, so that kindergarteners are able to exercise some possible protection against abuse, because I have family members as well as friends who suffered abuse at that age. So, that’s the kind of stuff that I was talking about in that piece of legislation.
I do not understand why anyone would have a problem with this bill except for them believing that either sexual assault doesn’t exist within children or doesn’t exist at all. On both accounts, these people would be sadly mistaken.
As a person who was sexually abused repeatedly throughout my childhood, I wish that someone had informed me about the difference between affection and abuse. The “stranger danger” talk does not work and it never has; you can tell your children to be weary of the creepy man down the street but how do they know what is happening when it’s their grandparents, uncles, aunts, fathers and even mothers? They don’t and that is the reason why it took me nearly a decade to utter a word about my abuse and no one should ever have to go through that–Ever.
Barack Obama’s record on protection against sexual assault is stellar:
- Obama Passed The Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Database Act of 2005.
- Obama Passed A Bill To Protect Children From Known Sex Offenders.
- Obama Passed Law Expanding Rights Of Alleged Victims of Sexual Assault.
- Obama Passed A Law To Make Administering A Date Rape Drug Aggravated Battery As Well As An Aggravating Offense To Criminal Sexual Assault.
- Obama Passed A Law to Expand the Definitions of “Sex Offender” and “Sex Offense” and Mandate Offender Disclosure.
- Obama Passed Law to Require EMS For Sexual Assault Survivors To Include Coverage For Emergency Contraception.
- Obama Passed a Bill Eliminating Good Behavior Time For Sex Offenders.
- Obama Passed Law to Extend Statute Of Limitations On Certain Sexual Offenses.
- Obama Sponsored Illinois Senate Version Of The Bill That Would Seal Sexual Assault Victim’s Records.
Sep
2
Helen Mirren Thinks Date Rape Shouldn’t Be Illegal
Helen Mirren was recently interviewed by Piers Morgan for the October edition of GQ magazine. Her experience with being date raped came up, which she first revealed in 2003 during an interview and she stated:
“I was [date-raped], yes. A couple of times.”
“Not with excessive violence, or being hit, but rather being locked in a room and made to have sex against my will.”
Dame Helen said it was rape if a couple engaged in sexual activity but the woman said “no” at the last second.
However, she said: “I don’t think she can have that man into court under those circumstances.”
She said she had not reported her own experiences to police because “you couldn’t do that in those days”.
First off, I am glad that Mirren was not one of the millions of cases in the world where excessive violence is dominant n such a case, but in the second part of her first sentence, I find it sad that a woman who has been through such an experience is still calling it “having sex” against her will. Rape is not sex. Date rape is not sex. In almost all sexual assault cases, sex is never what someone is trying to get out of the situation; it is power over another human being by using what should be a consensual experience between two people in order to shame and violate another human being and gaining power above them.
Second of all, just because Mirren did not report her own experiences because “you couldn’t do that in those days,” makes me feel sympathy for her, especially since she has also stated being a frequent drug user and an experience like being date raped could most definitely lead a woman in the direction of addiction. However, for such a statement to be made by an Oscar-winning actress is a step backwards for people everywhere–The women who listen to her, read GQ magazine and especially for the men who read GQ magazine, as they may take her statement to heart and figure that it’s A-OK to rape a woman and that women will just let it go unreported and they won’t get into any trouble since they may think that it isn’t something that they can get convicted and do jail time for and that is sickening and also dangerous.
To clarify: If you have been a victim of rape or sexual assault of any kind, it is important for you to speak out about your experience and the experiences of millions of other people who are the victim of sexual assault in this world. It is important for you to press charges against your abuser, since most abusers go on to abuse other people throughout their lives and you most likely are not the only person who has been a victim of that person. It is equally as important for figures such as Mirren to not support women and victim-blaming, which is exactly what she is doing.
She has also been quoted elsewhere saying:
“I guess it is one of the many subtle parts of the men/women relationship that has to be negotiated and worked out between them.”
The many subtle parts of the men/women relationship? What? I would like to ask Mirren how it is possible for men and women to work a case of sexual assault out between the two of them. And what about cases where men are sexually abusing men and women are sexually abusing women? Sexual assault is not merely a “subtle part” of the man/woman “relationship” and how, exactly, would a scenario like that work?
Woman: Gee, I really didn’t appreciate being drugged and raped against my will last night.
Man: Oh that is completely understandable and I promise to never do it again. Could you please pass the sugar?
No, I don’t think so.
Via The F-Word.
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