WrongCards Aren’t Only Wrong, They’re Disgusting

May 7, 2008, category Menstrual Poetry, violence against women

I came across this site a few days ago and while the website name alone should have tipped me off to the type of content I would find there, I was pretty disturbed by a few of the images that I saw.

With a name like WrongCards, sure, you can suspect that the content is going to be pretty far from politically correct, but what I found completely crossed the line from wrong to sick and disgusting.


date rape

Apparently we can add date rape to the list of things people find funny right alongside of sex criminals and being kicked in the stomach while pregnant.

However, WrongCards doesn’t stop there; they also have another card that reads “I’m still waiting to be sexually harassed.“

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Report It on Angela Shelton Day

April 29, 2008, category random acts of activism, sexual assault


Report IT

Happy Angela Shelton Day!

Today is the day where the Report It campaign, a campaign motivating survivors of sexual assault to report their cases via an online form at the Report It website, comes to a close with the biggest rally of unified sexual assault survivors taking place at various courthouses across the country! Today, on Angela Shelton Day, survivors are being asked to go to your local courthouses and say that the silence of sexual assault survivors has went on for far too long.

Sexual assault is the most under-reported crime in the world and it is also the least talked about. By being a survivor and living through your abuse and talking about your abuse, you are breaking the silence surrounding this pandemic. One person can change the world, so if you are able, please go to your local court house and speak up for the rights of survivors everywhere.

Here is the statement that is being read at rallies across the country:

“Sexual assault is the most underreported crime in the world. All too often victims do not report the crime to authorities for fear of not being believed, mistrust of the legal system, because they blame themselves for the crime or fear of retaliation. It’s time to address why this happens to sexual violence victims, while victims of other crimes, like robbery, don’t hesitate to seek justice. Victims of sexual violence deserve the equal protection of our laws. They deserve to be heard and validated. The Report IT Campaign is a first of its kind effort on behalf of all victims — an initiative designed to give hope to all victims that we can end the silence surrounding sexual violence. Our loud, unified voice today will be the first step in a multi-year effort to inspire much needed reforms and better access to justice for all victims.”

But this isn’t the end of the collaborative rally from Angela Shelton and PAVE. In fact, PAVE will be collecting reports from survivors for the next year, in 2009 this rally will run again just as it did this year but hopefully with even more people and in 2010, PAVE is taking this rally straight to Washington DC.

If you haven’t already, report your case today on Angela Shelton Day by filling out the online form. I filled mine out this morning and now it’s your turn!

If you need someone to talk to remember that you can always call RAINN. It’s safe and confidential. 1.800.656.HOPE or check out the online hotline.

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Help Us Help You Help Others

April 26, 2008, category random acts of activism, sexual assault

Skirt Sports SkirtSports, a retailer for sport apparel for women and children, has recently put together a campaign that will help their customers give back to the organizations and charities that mean the most to them.

Help Us Help You Help Others is a campaign unlike most others I have seen. Not only can you donate to a charity and help that charity help others in need, but you, as a SkirtSports customer, can choose the charity that Help Us Help You Help Others donates to.

Over a period of a month, SkirtSports asks people to nominate their favorite charity and the charity that receives the most submitted nominations will receive a $500 donation from the SkirtSports Help Us Help You Help Others campaign plus whatever amount is received through your donations, which range from donations of $5 to $100.

For the month of April and in honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Help Us Help You Help Others will be donating to SOAR (Speaking Out Against Rape) SOAR is an amazing non-profit organization which runs national awareness, education and prevention programs to help survivors of sexual abuse reclaim their voice, confidence and lives. You can learn more about SOAR at their website here.

In order to donate to SOAR through Help Us Help You Help Others, go here and select the amount you would like to donate. 100% of your donations go straight to SOAR; there is no tax or fees of any kind and it gets donated directly. As an added bonus, SOAR has a special promotion through SkirtSports where if you buy from their website you receive 10% off on all online purchases by using the promo code SOAR–and while you’re at it, don’t forget to make a donation to SOAR.

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Reclaim Your Voice While Helping Others

April 13, 2008, category random acts of activism, sexual assault

teddy I recently came across the Teddy Tour, which is run by Megan from Imaginif and Leigh from All for Women; both are truly excellent sites.

Teddy Tour is about giving survivors of childhood sexual abuse a voice through a really unique concept–plush teddy bears. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female or what age you are now; if you were sexually abused as a child, you are able to take part in the tour.

The process is simple–You fill out a teddy tag (don’t worry, it’s completely anonymous and your name will not appear on your tag) either by filling out the form to send one instantly or you can download and print out this tag and send it out in the mail. You can also make your own tag or decorate the mail-in tag to personalize it a bit more.

After your tag is received, it will be put on a plush teddy bear, a picture of it will be taken for the website and it will then be sold at Imaginif where all proceeds go straight to a survivor of child abuse.

This is an excellent project, I love it. I filled out a teddy tag for myself and hope that all survivors of childhood sexual abuse will do so as well, it’s an excellent cause and not only are you reclaiming your voice and rising above your abuse, you are also helping other survivors in the process. What could be better than that?

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5th Annual Race to Stop the Silence

April 11, 2008, category random acts of activism, sexual assault

stop the silence

I thought I was too late with this, but luckily, I’m not!

stop the silence race This Sunday, April 13, is the 5th Annual Race to Stop the Silence, presented by the Ms. Foundation for Women and The Washington Post, in an effort to raise awareness and stop the silence surrounding child sexual abuse. It will take place at 8:30am in Anacostia Park in Washington DC.

If you are around the Washington DC area, I cannot urge you enough to go and be part of this amazing activist effort. Child sexual abuse is a silent epidemic and it is only growing more rapidly out of control. If you wish to take part in the 10k race and the 5K pledge walk you can register either today, tomorrow or Sunday before the race at a tent near the skating rink at Anacostia Park, which will open at 6:30am. Download the registration form here and bring it to the balcony of the Old Post Office Pavilion at 1100 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W., Washington, D.C. Also, you can download the agenda of activities here. (PDF)

This is definitely a great cause; for those of you who are already signed up and ready to go, good luck; and for the rest of you, go download the registration form!

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Watch Searching for Angela Shelton–For Free!

April 5, 2008, category film, sexual assault

Searching for Angela Shelton is a documentary made by none other than Angela Shelton. It started as a survey of women in America who shared her name, but evolved into a mission to end sexual violence when she found that over half of the women she interviewed for her documentary had been either raped, beaten or molested sometime in their lives. If you haven’t already seen this movie, I cannot urge you enough to buy the DVD, it is absolutely phenomenal. But here’s the best news of all…

Searching for Angela Shelton During the month of April, which is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, to raise awareness about sexual violence, you can watch Searching for Angela Shelton for free! All you have to do is go to Angela Shelton TV and click on the second tab over on top of the video player, click on “Searching” and the entire movie is the second option down.

I personally love this movie, I’ve seen it no less than 100 times, easy; it’s always the movie I go to when I need to get inspired or motivated to write something inspiring. It brings the comfort needed to survivors to keep going in the fight against sexual violence and it opens the eyes of those who may not know too much about the pandemic that is affecting so many men and women all over the world every day.

Go ahead, Watch the movie!

Some parts may be triggering, so if you find yourself in need of help or support, check out RAINN or the supportive community at After Silence.

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Blogging Against Sexual Violence Using Creative Expression

April 3, 2008, category arts, random acts of activism, sexual assault

sexual violence Today is A Day to End Sexual Violence. Courtesy of abyss2hope, today is the second annual Blog Against Sexual Violence Day.

I’ve been thinking for a few days about what I wanted to write about. I cover sexual violence quite a bit here, but I wanted this to be a bit different and have deeper meaning to me, so I finally decided to share a piece of my own creative writing that tells a little but about my childhood and my own past with sexual violence.

This is a short prose piece entitled Stonewalled and was written on May 8, 2005. It was featured in North Eastern Pennsylvania’s Women’s Resource Center’s “An Empty Place at the Table” art gallery.

Stonewalled

Go brush your teeth and I’ll be right up to tuck you in.

And with that statement, you were gone. The door slammed, the car’s ignition hissed, and the tires roared away from our townhouse apartment - home for needy welfare mothers who spend their earnings from their spread your leg careers on “I’m sick of feeling like this, I want to be someone else” hallucinogens and “My veins are pretty empty and could use a lift of spirits” syringes. Where were you this time? Because I’m still in bed peering from the turned-down comforter to see you and smell the musty scent on your breath, on my face, on your clothes. When do you think you’re coming back?

This is because you couldn’t mother a pair of mistakes; the first a little more damned than the second. If the men had the money you would introduce them to your shining star concubine - age’s six to twelve. Sifting into nothing but a corpse; unable to do anything but lay there, engulfed in a wonderland of dead fairies that all look identical. Laying there as if nothing happened; gyrating into outlandish figures - all bleeding from one sacred pore.

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Blog Against Sexual Violence

April 1, 2008, category random acts of activism, sexual assault

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Sexual assault awareness is very close to my heart, as a survivor myself and April is a very important month to me, especially this year since abyss2hope is creating even more outlets for awareness by hosting the second annual Blog Against Sexual Violence.

On April 3rd, bloggers from across the blogosphere will have the opportunity to speak out about sexual violence and how important it is to end the pandemic that exists across the world and within every culture.

I cannot urge bloggers enough to get involved with this and I hope to see a lot of positive posts on ending sexual violence this month.

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Feminism at its Finest: March 2008

March 31, 2008, category Feminism at its Finest

blog carnival Welcome to Feminism at its Finest, March 2008 edition. This is by far the largest edition we have had to date and I am very excited for this carnival to keep building awareness and momentum. So let’s get to the submissions.

Blue presents Hotties On TV Sell Get Rich Scams, a post talking about an infomercial that I have seen on some lazy late nights that used women who are depicted as brainless and naive while objectifying women and using the “sex sells” mentality and sadly, they are selling to millions of people using this mentality. This post can be seen at Money Blue Book.

Carol presents What Kind of Feminist Am I? posted at Can’t Holder Tongue.

Christine presents Is Marriage Outdated?, which starts off with:

“The marriage ritual is Anglo-Saxon in nature and archaic in today’s society. Marriage for tax break reasons is not a very romantic notion nor should it be a reason for two people to stay together.”

Posted at Me, My Kid and Life: An American Single Mom Living in France.
She also presents Think Before You Vote,posted at Me, My Kid and Life.

Clever Elsie presents a few posts, first off we have “Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb: A Singletude Response and How Single Men Make Women Settle, which is a followup on the “Marry Him” post about how Lori Gottlieb says that women settle, but men don’t have to and Commit to Yourself, a great post on a tongue in cheek idea of self-commitment parties, which I find to be a refreshing new look on being a happy single. All of these posts can be seen at Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles.

Edith presents How to Succeed Without Being a Man, an interview with Kerrie Halmi, posted at Edith Yeung.

Greg Laden presents Board Room Gender Gap posted at Greg Laden’s Blog.

Katie presents Powerful Speech: Suggestions For Feminist Media, saying:

“This lets feminist media makers (like we bloggers!) one of the most useful things we can do right now (and, I suppose, forever?) to end sexual/gendered violence against a huge population of women.”

This post can be seen at Brown Femi Power.

Lori Jewett presents Ending Violence Against Women, saying:

“Strong, confident women everywhere are making themselves heard, but violence against women still threatens us. Learn more about women’s struggles against this plague of violence and what you can do to help.”

She also presents Coming Together for Change, saying:

“What the world needs now…is a woman in the White House. Rational, compassionate thinking, the ability to bring people together, the creation of consensus, real change…isn’t it about time?”

These posts can be seen over at Between Us Girls.

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Hysterical Lefty Bloggers Whine For Clinton To Leave Obama Alone, a great limerick, as well as Ode To Eliot Spitzer, posted at Mad Kane’s Political Madness.

Marcella Chester presents Socialization Which Sets Up Sex Predator/Passive Victim Model posted at abyss2hope.

Tina Su presents A Gift That Wows!, saying that the best gifts we can give another person are appreciation and open communication, posted at Think Simple. Be Decisive.

Tracee Sioux presents a few posts, Girl Characters and Geena Davis, saying:

“Girl characters are outnumbered 3 to 1. Geena Davis Institute on Gender in the Media is trying to change that. A look at some studies and what you can do to help.”

Posted at So Sioux Me.
She also presents Mood Shaper, a post on how a full-body girdle made her feel about herself, including adjectives such as angry, moody, irritable, cramped, shoved in, judged, restricted, oppressed, repressed, hostile, wrong, fat, unacceptable, picked apart, flawed, pinched, unworthy, squished and frustrated, as well as Stop Abortion Vote Healthcare!, saying:

“With health care for disenfranchised women on the table we have an unprecidented opportunity to drastically reduce the abortion rate without criminalizing women in poverty.”

These posts can be seen at Blog Fabulous.

And that’s it for this edition! Make sure to submit your feminist posts for next month, which will be up on Wednesday, April 30.

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Your Sexual History, Alcohol Consumption, Clothing and Location: Reasons Why You’re to Blame for Being Raped

March 27, 2008, category sexism, sexual assault

Well this is definitely sad.

The Irish Examiner has recently taken a national poll on society and rape victims, finding that an astounding number of people in Ireland feel that rape victims are to blame, or at least partially to blame for their attack.

  • - More than 30% think a victim is some way responsible if she flirts with a man or fails to say no clearly.
  • - 10% of people think the victim is entirely at fault if she has had a number of sexual partners.
  • - 37% think a woman who flirts extensively is at least complicit, if not completely in the wrong, if she is the victim of a sex crime.
  • - One in three think a woman is either partly or fully to blame if she wears revealing clothes.
  • - 38% believe a woman must share some of the blame if she walks through a deserted area.

Of course, not just Ireland tends to feel this way, as there are also other studies I have found online where alcohol consumption was also a deciding factor in blaming rape victims for their attacks, but that’s old news in the realm of putting the blame on women.

These studies not only reveal how society feels about sexual assault, but also why so many victims of sexual assault do not report their cases. It’s bad enough to be a victim of sexual assault, but to be blamed for it and re-victimized by society and the court systems is sometimes too much to take for most people; especially since justice is not served for many cases regarding sexual assault.

Apparently the people of Ireland believe that only women are victims of sexual assault, but I suppose men are too hard to blame for their abuse, so it’s easier to put an even thicker layer of silence around men victims. They also believe that women fail to say no clearly enough. Do they also believe men are missing a few braincells and don’t know what no means? Are women going to have to start wearing sandwich boards with the word “no” written on it in dark, red letters? Society will then start blaming women for their assault due to the fact their attacker couldn’t read.

Determining the level of blame to put on a raped woman by her sexual history makes absolutely no sense to me. Are we now saying that rape isn’t that big of a deal because the woman was not a virgin, so nothing was really taken away? That is pure bullshit. And what, exactly, is the number of sexual partners a woman is allowed to have before getting blamed for rape? 2? 4? Frankly, what is the number of sexual partners a woman can have before she is labeled as a slut? Most likely 2, especially if one is not her current husband.

As for wearing revealing clothing, rape is not about sex, it is about control and having control over another person, therefore making it ridiculous to say that women who wear short skirts or low-cut tops are “asking to be raped.” Rape is not a “woman’s issue” and both genders need to eliminate sex crimes together and the first order of business should obviously be education. Stop re-victimizing women, by doing so, we are making excuses for these crimes and doing nothing to stop them.

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