Helen Mirren Thinks Date Rape Shouldn’t Be Illegal

September 2, 2008, category

Helen Mirren was recently interviewed by Piers Morgan for the October edition of GQ magazine. Her experience with being date raped came up, which she first revealed in 2003 during an interview and she stated:

“I was [date-raped], yes. A couple of times.”

“Not with excessive violence, or being hit, but rather being locked in a room and made to have sex against my will.”

Dame Helen said it was rape if a couple engaged in sexual activity but the woman said “no” at the last second.

However, she said: “I don’t think she can have that man into court under those circumstances.”

She said she had not reported her own experiences to police because “you couldn’t do that in those days”.

First off, I am glad that Mirren was not one of the millions of cases in the world where excessive violence is dominant n such a case, but in the second part of her first sentence, I find it sad that a woman who has been through such an experience is still calling it “having sex” against her will. Rape is not sex. Date rape is not sex. In almost all sexual assault cases, sex is never what someone is trying to get out of the situation; it is power over another human being by using what should be a consensual experience between two people in order to shame and violate another human being and gaining power above them.

Second of all, just because Mirren did not report her own experiences because “you couldn’t do that in those days,” makes me feel sympathy for her, especially since she has also stated being a frequent drug user and an experience like being date raped could most definitely lead a woman in the direction of addiction. However, for such a statement to be made by an Oscar-winning actress is a step backwards for people everywhere–The women who listen to her, read GQ magazine and especially for the men who read GQ magazine, as they may take her statement to heart and figure that it’s A-OK to rape a woman and that women will just let it go unreported and they won’t get into any trouble since they may think that it isn’t something that they can get convicted and do jail time for and that is sickening and also dangerous.

To clarify: If you have been a victim of rape or sexual assault of any kind, it is important for you to speak out about your experience and the experiences of millions of other people who are the victim of sexual assault in this world. It is important for you to press charges against your abuser, since most abusers go on to abuse other people throughout their lives and you most likely are not the only person who has been a victim of that person. It is equally as important for figures such as Mirren to not support women and victim-blaming, which is exactly what she is doing.

She has also been quoted elsewhere saying:

“I guess it is one of the many subtle parts of the men/women relationship that has to be negotiated and worked out between them.”

The many subtle parts of the men/women relationship? What? I would like to ask Mirren how it is possible for men and women to work a case of sexual assault out between the two of them. And what about cases where men are sexually abusing men and women are sexually abusing women? Sexual assault is not merely a “subtle part” of the man/woman “relationship” and how, exactly, would a scenario like that work?

Woman: Gee, I really didn’t appreciate being drugged and raped against my will last night.
Man: Oh that is completely understandable and I promise to never do it again. Could you please pass the sugar?

No, I don’t think so.

Via The F-Word.

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Rape and Victim Blaming

June 15, 2008, category

sexual assault

Derek, a lovely feminist blogger and vlogger over at Doing Feminism has an incredible new vlog up over at his site on rape and victim blaming. With recent accounts of rape happening within 10 blocks of his house, he decided to make a vlog about rape and how so many people blame the victims for rape even existing and using such bullshit lines like “Well women shouldn’t wear short skirts or go to bars or stay out after dark.”

You should go watch the video, it’s fabulous.

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Report It on Angela Shelton Day

April 29, 2008, category

Happy Angela Shelton Day!

Today is the day where the Report It campaign, a campaign motivating survivors of sexual assault to report their cases via an online form at the Report It website, comes to a close with the biggest rally of unified sexual assault survivors taking place at various courthouses across the country! Today, on Angela Shelton Day, survivors are being asked to go to your local courthouses and say that the silence of sexual assault survivors has went on for far too long.

Sexual assault is the most under-reported crime in the world and it is also the least talked about. By being a survivor and living through your abuse and talking about your abuse, you are breaking the silence surrounding this pandemic. One person can change the world, so if you are able, please go to your local court house and speak up for the rights of survivors everywhere.

Here is the statement that is being read at rallies across the country:

“Sexual assault is the most underreported crime in the world. All too often victims do not report the crime to authorities for fear of not being believed, mistrust of the legal system, because they blame themselves for the crime or fear of retaliation. It’s time to address why this happens to sexual violence victims, while victims of other crimes, like robbery, don’t hesitate to seek justice. Victims of sexual violence deserve the equal protection of our laws. They deserve to be heard and validated. The Report IT Campaign is a first of its kind effort on behalf of all victims — an initiative designed to give hope to all victims that we can end the silence surrounding sexual violence. Our loud, unified voice today will be the first step in a multi-year effort to inspire much needed reforms and better access to justice for all victims.”

But this isn’t the end of the collaborative rally from Angela Shelton and PAVE. In fact, PAVE will be collecting reports from survivors for the next year, in 2009 this rally will run again just as it did this year but hopefully with even more people and in 2010, PAVE is taking this rally straight to Washington DC.

If you haven’t already, report your case today on Angela Shelton Day by filling out the online form. I filled mine out this morning and now it’s your turn!

If you need someone to talk to remember that you can always call RAINN. It’s safe and confidential. 1.800.656.HOPE or check out the online hotline.

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Your Sexual History, Alcohol Consumption, Clothing and Location: Reasons Why You’re to Blame for Being Raped

March 27, 2008, category

sexism, sexual assault

Well this is definitely sad.

The Irish Examiner has recently taken a national poll on society and rape victims, finding that an astounding number of people in Ireland feel that rape victims are to blame, or at least partially to blame for their attack.

- More than 30% think a victim is some way responsible if she flirts with a man or fails to say no clearly.
- 10% of people think the victim is entirely at fault if she has had a number of sexual partners.
- 37% think a woman who flirts extensively is at least complicit, if not completely in the wrong, if she is the victim of a sex crime.
- One in three think a woman is either partly or fully to blame if she wears revealing clothes.
- 38% believe a woman must share some of the blame if she walks through a deserted area.

Of course, not just Ireland tends to feel this way, as there are also other studies I have found online where alcohol consumption was also a deciding factor in blaming rape victims for their attacks, but that’s old news in the realm of putting the blame on women.

These studies not only reveal how society feels about sexual assault, but also why so many victims of sexual assault do not report their cases. It’s bad enough to be a victim of sexual assault, but to be blamed for it and re-victimized by society and the court systems is sometimes too much to take for most people; especially since justice is not served for many cases regarding sexual assault.

Apparently the people of Ireland believe that only women are victims of sexual assault, but I suppose men are too hard to blame for their abuse, so it’s easier to put an even thicker layer of silence around men victims. They also believe that women fail to say no clearly enough. Do they also believe men are missing a few braincells and don’t know what no means? Are women going to have to start wearing sandwich boards with the word “no” written on it in dark, red letters? Society will then start blaming women for their assault due to the fact their attacker couldn’t read.

Determining the level of blame to put on a raped woman by her sexual history makes absolutely no sense to me. Are we now saying that rape isn’t that big of a deal because the woman was not a virgin, so nothing was really taken away? That is pure bullshit. And what, exactly, is the number of sexual partners a woman is allowed to have before getting blamed for rape? 2? 4? Frankly, what is the number of sexual partners a woman can have before she is labeled as a slut? Most likely 2, especially if one is not her current husband.

As for wearing revealing clothing, rape is not about sex, it is about control and having control over another person, therefore making it ridiculous to say that women who wear short skirts or low-cut tops are “asking to be raped.” Rape is not a “woman’s issue” and both genders need to eliminate sex crimes together and the first order of business should obviously be education. Stop re-victimizing women, by doing so, we are making excuses for these crimes and doing nothing to stop them.

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Report It Now!

March 7, 2008, category

sexual assault

In addition to the Report IT rally for Victim’s Rights that took place on February 19 and will again on April 29, Angela Shelton, an advocate and speaker on sexual violence and PAVE ( have collaborated to create the Report It Now! campaign.

The Report It Now campaign, as well as the Rally for Victim’s Rights are both about raising awareness about the vast number of people that are victims of sexual assault. It is a national collaborative effort to raise awareness on the vast under-reporting of sexual assault including rape, incest, and abuse.

Sexual assault is a very serious pandemic that is not always treated as seriously as it should be. Over 80% of sexual assault cases go unreported and when these cases are reported, the victims are only revictimized by lawyers and the court system. We have all heard the misogynist comments made when women speak about sexual violence and the excuses that men leech onto and try to throw in our faces. “Well the women that are abused should stop being whores with their short skirts.” “Women are just asking for it.” and etc. etc. What is not understood about sexual violence is that while ’sex’ is in the name, it is almost never about that–Sexual violence is about control and almost never about purely getting into someone’s pants when they don’t want it. Not only are (mostly) men throwing these kinds of excuses in the face of women who are speaking out about this violence, but the court system does the same thing! “Well how many drinks did you have, Miss?” “And what were you wearing?” To quote Tori Amos directly, “Yes I wore a slinky red thing, does that mean I should spread?” (Me and a Gun) And no, it does not.

Every two and a half minutes, someone in America is sexually assaulted and the Report It Now campaign is all about exposing the amount of unreported sexual violence cases. It is a campaign to show these so-called court systems the amount of people that are afraid to report their cases because of them, not because they have something to hide or any other ludicrous assumption. To show these people the nature of the crimes and the numbers of these cases that happen that cannot be denied, there is a Report It Now online form where you can report your abuse for purely survey reasons. The online form is not an actual police report and it is also completely anonymous, so there are absolutely no worries that your name will ever get out.

If you, a loved one or someone you know is a victim of sexual assault, I urge you to fill out the online form and report your case. Not only are you aiding the campaign in retrieving accurate results of sexual assault, but it is highly cathartic to fill out the form; it is like the first time you ever told someone about your abuse or even admitted it to yourself–It’s an indescribable feeling.

The online form may be triggering, so if you begin to fill out the form and feel yourself being triggered, please got to RAINN or call your local crisis center and stay safe.

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